There isn't any such thing as beginning at the beginning

There isn't any such thing as beginning at the beginning...some moments suggest a kind of punctuation : a quick stop comma, full stop period, or the in between caesuras of colon and semi colons, undecided. Half a heart

A painless jolt of energy, actively passive; natural hopefulness to deadened possibilities.

Little girl... little dreamer, who doesn't have the first clue...stop her, from making false claims to the gullible. Someone ought to show her what fins, what teeth, under her lil' boat, what a neck-breaking tail just might come swimming...

Cruel, this exhibition of unprotected innocence.

Dull light that infiltrates through a porthole window, unwanted but needed, subconsciously desperate;

Suppression of her outrage, her endless circle of hate, was costly and taxing of sorts; her depressions testified to the price.

They floated across the horizon, too distant to be called close, to adjacent to be far-away ...thunderclouds, the eerie calm before the storm.

And each time she emerged from the darkness, awoke from her nightmare, they said she needed help. The fools, she couldn't help but to pity them. She didn’t want the light, the air; some stranger to finger her secrets and recommend 'treatment' : a lifestyle change A load of psycho-babble bull.

She wanted her life to be whole, but, plain and simple, it wasn't. It was bent and scarred, twisted into a horrible remnant of what it once was; like a scab, never peeled off. She’d rather not re-flip those pages, hidden in secret chapters of her life. It was an old part of the book, never to be revisited.

She would and could, lick her own wounds, Favoring the pain over the ever present emptiness, something to fill the hole, the abyss she called home.

She would take an unsteady breath, and wait until the emotions, her scathing memories to simplify, click back into place; Where they would stay until a seemingly innocent object, alive or inanimate, triggered them to where they would rise, unbidden, to the surface, bubbling with familiar sentiments, passion filled sensations...

TBC...