Hey Kyle what’s wrong with you?

I’ve got a problem man.

What’s your problem?

Well……when I go to the bathroom my piss is all chunky?

Chunky? Like what?

Like the soup motherfucker what the fuck do you think when I say chunky!?

Whoa, settle down Kyle. What does it look like?

It’s all pink and red and it smells like an asshole.

Hmmmm…..

What?

Oh I was just thinking.

Thinking about what?

What if you acquired a parasite that eats away at your insides and sends the less solid matter into your bladder to be dumped?

What the fuck are you talking about!?

Well I’m not sure. I think I saw something like this on the X-Files once….maybe.

Well what the fuck should I do about this man!? I’ve got some organ eating motherfucker in my body making me piss out my mangled insides and all I can do is scream when it happens.

(mutters)……..I wonder if it’s contagious….

What man?

I said why don’t you go to the hospital dude? They deal with this kind of shit….probably.

No hospitals man. I fucking hate hospitals.

Alright alright I think I have a solution.

Tell me! I’ll try anything.

Go home and wait to die.

Maybe I should go to the hospital.

No. Try my idea first. It’s better.