Remote Control

It is as essential as a wool jacket in the Antarctic;

A cornerstone in technological advancement,

Helping people become lazier since 1980.

It is as smooth as blue whales blubber;

A random collection of buttons and gizmos,

Half of which don’t even work,

(Or at least are too complex to figure out).

It is like the manna of life,

The food of the gods,

The elixir of continuance.

It is like the phasers on Star Trek,

Minus the ability to kill people or set it on stun.

It is the only way human beings

Can operate their television in these modern ages;

Heaven forbid they get off the couch

And press the minuscule buttons on the front of the tube.

If aliens ever wanted to take over our planet,

All they would have to do

Is take every remote control from every household in the world,

And watch the chaos ensue.