Today is Saturday. That is as far as my life lasts. Sadly, I’m now deceased. I know. Weird, right?

I died four minutes ago, at 2:42 a.m. this morning, only to wake up here with this new found knowledge of my now ended life in my wonderfully empty head. At 2:37, this morning I was on the internet cramming for a chemistry test, which explains the previously way too full head. At 2:40, I felt a little funny, and then the next thing I know I wake up here, in the blank nothingness. Don’t worry, no one will find me lying there on the floor. I live with no one, and no one lives with me.

Oh bother. That was a great introduction to myself I’m sure. Maybe I should try this introduction thing again. Well, here goes. I am, wait strike that, I was a Chemistry major at Syracuse University in New York. I guess I won’t fail that test today, oh well. Anyway, I was: a 3.2 GPA student in the Chemistry department at Syracuse, a strident believer in everyday exercise, a little bored with life, and lastly, I was a closet writer. Kinda funny, huh? I had no friends, no life, and no money, which is ironic because now I really do suck at life, seeing as I’m dead.

Good Lord! I’m dead! I’m really dead? What happened? Oh yeah, stupid electric shock. I knew I should have done something about that faulty wiring. I can see you there sitting and shaking your head at my stupidity. Argh! I hate life. Damn! I hate that I’m dead. I can’t believe it. Argh! Oh well. Might as well float along wondering about what I could have done with my life. I can’t believe I’m dead. I wish I wasn’t. Give me a second to get over with it.

…

Okay, I think I’m all better. I hope I’m all better. I guess now would be a great time to think about what I did with my poorly used life. Let’s see . . . Hmm, nothing much. I didn’t even fall in love. How horrible is that? Never being in love. Not even a glimmer of lust. Well, maybe that’s a lie. Okay, it is a lie. I had felt lust, but it’s not the same as love, you know? I guess I must have missed out. I wish I could have had someone to call my own. Oh well, nothing I can do about it now.

What else had I done with my life? Oh! I know. I had written some poetry anonymously. It made it into the literary magazine on campus. The two poems I wrote were towards the back. However, I don’t know if anybody read them or even liked them because I wrote it anonymously meaning I had gotten no praise. A stupid thing to do.

I had a really sad life, didn’t I? Maybe heaven will be like I’ve imagined it to be. Then again I could be going to hell. Or maybe I’m doomed to be stuck in limbo. That would be the worst fate has to offer me now. I’m discouraging myself. I need to stop thinking.

It’s not working. Oh well. I guess I’m stuck here for now. Maybe I can daydream up the rest of my now nonexistent life. Who knows?