The word’s thick
Honey clogging my breath
I’m trying to displace it
With other things
But it sticks to all of the sides of me
Of you

Like bruises flowering on your skin
A masterpiece of sorrow
Adding to my ever growing hesitation
I don’t want it to be like this
But it already is

If only I could have made it about you
Not about me and my disbelief
Lack of faith being spit onto your face
But you don’t blink

Mentally I picture pinching you to tears
Kissing you into a corner
Until you break down into pieces and finally scream
Cut me up so I will bleed for calling you an almost liar

But somehow this word is tangible
Small enough to fit through the miniature psychedelic shapes in her body
Big enough to swell inside my head
Catching on my tongue and tangling tingling everything

And all I can think is that cancer is strung across your mother’s neck
But it’s choking you instead