Sorrows

My sorrows are the reason why I fall. My one and only love died last month. I feel like its all my fault. Everyone thinks that my sorrows are the ones holding me back from reality. I hear people say that I have grief or sadness. Grief, I don't much have. Sadness is what I have the most. I went through a lot in my life. I may havegrief, but I have more sadness than my family and friends know of. I can't leave behind all those good memories I used to have. I still remember those memories.

The sorrows are usually how I remember...everything that happened to me. Usually I end up crying at night when I'm asleep. I never thought about school in such a long time that I've been skipping a lot of it. People are still talking about my girlfriend's death. People still talk about tons of things that just happened right in front of me. I was always the one that witnessed it everytime and every moment. I'll never that happened. I saw carrions. I saw rapes and people dying right in front of me. You don't ever want to see that in your life. Or anything else I saw. What happens in front of you that's the stuff that you'll never forget. And I mean NEVER.

Sincerely,

Eric Marlu

Today there was more deaths than expected...one was my mother and the next was my father. So many died in front of me while I screamed help came then they died...I want my family back in my life and others. There's one thing I can't put my finger on. I want to know what it is, but yet I still wouldn't know. I wonder if I'm going to die yet...it should be my turn soon since almost my home is empty and my village is half way gone. I'm even trying to fasten my death to come...to be with my family. I even noticed that peoples bodies were taken to a place of a far distance from where I am.I just can't seem to leave. To get a whole new life...but I just can't do it. This is the worst I've felt since Gabriella died 5 years back. Now memories are flowing in out with no end to it. The memories burn through my heart. If I'm going to be alone in this world I have to defend everything I still have left...My virginity...my soul...and my will.

Then when I was thinking that so many of...I don't know what to call them. They said something with a little snickering that I think is,"...He'll be good enough to give to the king,don't ya think?" one of them nodded in agreement with the other thing. "Then we'll bring him to the king and see if he'll take him as his meal..." They grabbed me and I thought they were going to do something horrible to me. I screamed something that I can barely remember since it was probably like something that a damsel would say when they get taken. The only thing I remember after that is them looking at me like I'm something to eat and I'm not that good to eat. I really just want to be dead. So if they eat me I'm okay with it. Nothings not going to change the past haunts my dreams or my mind. I wish that my fate was to die in my village like everyone else is. This is just my nightmare since there coming closer to me. "Maybe the king would let us eat him like the others. Then we can put him in a pot of boiling hot water..." He continued with that disgusting rant with the look still on me.

They all were almost drooling while looking at me while the food was burning and when they smelt the food they hurried back to it. Then I continued in thought. The next day was when we were there because I don't remember anything until I found myself lying on concrete and chained to the concrete wall by the neck,and waist down. When they came with another...person? He wasn't tied up like I was instead he was walking free. I was so aggreviated with those people so I was going to yell, but the man said something instead with a caring stare, "Let him go in the castle.I don't want to eat him." They all were looking at that man with bewilderment on their face. They didn't argue with him though that's when I was assuming that was their king. So they let me go in to a bed chamber. The chamber was magnificently beautiful with silk purple and black sheets, purple pillow cases, black curtains around the bed... The rest is just beautiful. I never got treated like a prince,but someone that caused awful bad luck since with the murder or something such horrible memories...I went on to the bed and curled myself into a ball for safety. Memories were pouring into my mind once more.

The next month or so was the worst since they took my clothes off trying to eat me, but the king was the one to stop them like last time. "I told you men not to eat him or else." That's what the king said angrily towards his men and I nodded my head in agreement with the king. I started to put on my ukata while the king was standing there on guard making sure no more of his men tries to eat me. Everything was so different after that... The king always talked to me and in such a sweet tone because I think he knows what I'm going through,though. I have nothing to say most of the time we talked. The king even started to hold me when I was sad, angry, or just plain out crying my eyes out. I wasn't sure what I was feeling for him, but I didn't want it...If I did feel a way for him the same way I felt for Gabriella then I would be even more in sorrowful mood than ever. I don't want to love him like I did Gabby. That wouldn't be right...When he came into my chambers that evening he looked at me with such sincere eyes and asked, "Would you like to go on a walk with me?" And of course I can't resist, but I had second thoughts...for once I didn't listen to them. I was thinking of how kind he is to me and how wonderful he treats me...The things he does to cheer me up is fine with me. I...mean I can't love him... When we went on the walk I finally asked, "What's your name and where am I?" He looked at me and replied with a smile, "You finally asked...We are demons from Demon World...And I'm one of the kings...The name is Zarch..." I looked at him embarassed, but with a small smile. Then I told him my name with a tiny shy voice since I barely say anything, "Eric Marlu." The only thing he did was kiss me.

My heart told me to kiss him back and which I did. He pulled me closer while I wrapped my arms around his neck which deepened the kiss. After a few years he asked me, "Would you be mine? I love you and only you." I was assuming he was asking me to marry him in other words. I really didn't know what to say, but he did make me feel much better yet it still was my fault that my people died...Though I nodded my head in a yes motion to give him my answer. He pulled me down to his level and kissed me fully on the lips. When the wedding was getting closer they were making me try on all those wedding gowns like no tomarrow. I finally found the one I wanted to wear which was a ocean blue color and it looked like a salsa dress that doesn't show too much on top or bottom. There are slits in front and back of the dress. The only thing is that I have to practice walking in heels which I'm not customed to wear. The heels really hurt if your not used to them. I walked in them for two weeks straight just to get them fitted right. Then the big day came after two months.

The wedding was so magnificent I was so excited that I fainted where I had to get ready at. I was walking down the ile with Zarch's dad since my parents are dead. When it came to the vows I was blushing since I never done this before and Zarch complimented how I looked. Last but not least Zarch he looked so handsome so I was stumbling over my words a little. I finally said I do then we had a heated night after the wedding which after the heated night I was laying my head upon his chest sleeping and he never left my side. Zarch kept me warm the whole time I was sleeping. The next few weeks I noticed puking a lot. I was assuming that I was pregnant with Zarch's child...I told him that I was and all he did was say with a smile, "I guess we have to get ready for the new member of the family..." Zarch bent a little since I was shorter than him and kissed my cheeks. After the nine months of mood swings I finally gave birth to a son named Raizen, but then after I was carrying him around the castle after six weeks I fell unconcious and heard Raizen crying. Then I heard running footsteps which was Zarch's then Raizen stopped crying and Zarch was saying my name...Then I heard nothing and I was down in the underworld..I don't remember anything,except my painful memories. Then I ended up becoming someone that is the underworld king's son and ever since then I didn't remember nothing except what happens down there and up on earth...