Havent touched this story since 2004. Removed it once but thought it was time it made its way back onto fictionpress. Maybe...JUST MAYBE someone will read it.

Forwarnings: First of al there is ghey relations in this story. Second, it is old and I'm lazy so I'm not proofreading it right now. Might rewrite it later and fix it up some. Third and lastly...this was more a character intro than anything...or rather a back history. Hence the reason it ending the way it does. You'll understand when and if you read it. REVIEWS ARE VERY WELCOME! Thanks for reading.

SHARDS OF GLASS

The night is cold, and welcoming. Its full of secrets humans whisper about in the dark, but seldom realize or believe truly exist. Why? Because the world seems safer if they don’t know of the things that silently scratch at their windows, or the horrors that seek them out as their next victim. Heaven, hell, demons, ghosts; they are all myths in the eyes of humans, wandering shadows of man’s imagination. They are real though, just as real as I am. I’m one of them too; one of the dark monsters that only rears their head when the sun disappears and man sleeps to run away from the truth.

The smell of blood seized my nostrils, pulling at them like a driving force, sending my mind into both torment and ecstasy at the thought of quenched hunger and what I would have to do to achieve it. It tugged and refused to let go, moving me uncontrollably, taking me to him…my next victim…and a delicious one at that. A large apartment complex located in perhaps the worst part of town was the source of the sweet smell that even then was clawing at my senses. Indeed I was careful of selecting my victims. Only the sweetest ones would do, I would settle for nothing less. With little effort I slipped inside the decrepit building, and approached the ever-nearing source, and it was coming from a public restroom on the third floor. The scent grew stronger and thicker with every step; taunting, delicious, more than my patience could bear. Steadily I moved closer to the scent, weight shifting delicately from one leg to the other as I passed through rat infested hallways, towards the door, that little piece of wood that stood in my way. A few more steps…and I was inside, a bit disheartened at what I saw.

For a moment I was absolutely sure I was too late. When I opened the door all I remember seeing were shards of glass, a shattered mirror scattered across the floor. Crimson liquid spilt rapidly across already stained tiles, intermingling with the broken pieces, serving to send my intense hunger into near convulsions. I tried to ignore it, to find a new focus and expected it to be a lifeless body. No, instead I saw him, staring at me with wide eyes through the reflection of the shattered glass on the floor. They were somehow beautifully unique. Pale blue was flecked with the lightest hints of gray that shimmered almost like silver even in the distilled lights of a mangled bathroom.

My eyes yearned for the creature casting such a delicate reflection, moving up only to realize he was the creature whose blood had scattered across the floor and toyed with my hunger so. Glass not unlike that on the floor was embedded within his hand and was struggling to free its self as he writhed in pain. His pale face was twisted in agony. There was red, so much red as if the entire scene had been created with the essence of the color itself. His hair added to the imagery, raining down wavy flames of crimson across his sweaty forehead. He was…beautiful. “Are you all right?” My voice was deceitfully gentle for what I was. Concern burned through me, but only for a moment. The part of me that was once human worried about this man and if I wanted to continue with a life only brought forth by feeding off others, I couldn’t afford to worry. The humanity that rested deep within me had to be destroyed.

“Stay away from me!” When my hand reached out for him, the boy backed away quickly, almost as if he were afraid of being so much as touched. I couldn’t really blame him. I reached out again, this time he picked up one of the many shards, rapidly running it across my face. Now it was my own blood I tasted. Pain shot through my lip and chin where the weapon had made contact with my skin and the hand that had reached for the boy now covered it, trying to comprehend what had happened. “I said stay away from me!” Teeth clenched as I fought an urge to take the boy at that moment. I wanted to see inside of him. I wanted to see the cause of the torment that had driven him to hurt himself so. I thrived off the stories of my victims and I would discover his no matter what measures I had to take to do so. I wouldn’t lose this game

“I only want to help you,” I said, trying my best to sound truly concerned for the pitiful human life unlucky enough to be my evening meal. “You need some kind of medical attention before it gets worse!” The boy continued his tantrum, clenching the glass in his hand even tighter. I swallowed hard as a new wound formed and more blood surged out of the lacerated flesh. He was trembling slightly, and those strange lovely eyes were coursing their way into me. There was something hiding behind them, hiding behind a cloud of insecurity and fear…behind a foggy layer that indicated he had most likely been using some kind of drugs recently. Perhaps that would explain his self-abuse.

“I don’t need your help! I don’t want to go to a fucking hospital okay!” He was in shambles: broken, and miserable. Calmly I approached him, slowly reaching out to touch his wounds though he seemed rather reluctant to allow me near him. “STAY THE HELL AWAY FROM ME!” he screamed again, slashing the broken slab of mirror at my face once more, and once more leaving a gash across my cheek.

“Trust me…I wont take you to a hospital okay? I can fix you up at my place if that will make you feel better, and I wont tell anyone about the drugs.”

“Who said anything about drugs!” he hissed, eyes narrowing as he threw his defense mechanism to the floor with the rest of the bloody mess. “I didn’t do any drugs okay!” He was in denial; probably afraid I would turn him into the police. He was exceedingly wrong…I wanted something much different from the boy than he could have imagined. “I…I quit doing them a while ago.”

“Its okay…I only want to help you.” Fake concern…at least I insisted it was fake. “Let me fix up that cut and get you back home before morning okay? At least then you wont bleed to death in this hell hole.” It was fake, wasn’t it? But the human part of me was still there, still nagging, and I was fighting it. I should have taken him right then and there, but I didn’t. I didn’t feed when he offered his hand to me finally. I didn’t feed when we walked out of that filthy room, nor when we got in my car and drove off to a place nobody would ever come looking for him. My shirt had been removed and wrapped tightly around his hand for the moment, doing its best to keep the injury at bay until I could give it proper attention. I was putting it off because I had to know his story before he died. That’s all it was, the reason I was stalling. I would win my game.

“Jordan” he whispered quietly, much more relaxed despite the fact that he was riding with a complete stranger to god knows where. . The fog was leaving his eyes, and made him look even more vulnerable than he had when I had first run into him. The blood was drying and crusting to his skin, covering him almost entirely. He was lucky he was still awake after that. “My name is Jordan.” I nodded, smiling a bit. He was beginning to trust me, foolish boy.

“Ivan,” I countered, finally pulling into a large estate I had taken residence in. Jordan grew mildly uneasy at the lack of civilization is my guess as his body tensed. We had left the city a while ago and now I stopped my car in front of the old house that was my own. It was probably a historical site judging by the architecture, Victorian, complete with the leaky roof and cracked paint that comes with aging. It was dark inside as well as out, but that was to be remedied as I stepped inside and hit the light switch to reveal a modernly furnished kitchen in the midst of aged beauty. I had grown rather fond of my abode over the years despite its draftiness. “Have a seat, let me find some bandages.” We had hardly spoken at all, maybe he still didn’t trust me and I was worried those secrets of his past would never surface. I wish it had stayed that way. When I came back he was on the couch in the living room, his shirt removed as he inspected it thoroughly.

“Damn, its ruined. Did I really bleed that much?” He winced a bit when he squeezed his hand around the fabric; finally realizing the glass had hurt more than a little. He had been numbed before and now the reality of what had happened was seeping in. I smiled again, approaching him with disinfecting spray, a bucket of water, and a damp cloth. I couldn’t help but noticing him as I approached him. He was even more delicate and lovely with his shirt off, revealing a dark tan hue that had probably once been darker but was now paled from the loss of blood. I had expected there to be scars, black and blue marks, something, but it was smooth and perfect, untainted. This was probably the first time he had done something of the sort, though scars and tiny scabs did mark an ongoing heroine addiction.

“At least you aren’t ruined.” I sat beside him, wanting so much to bite him but repressing the urge, and wanting to know more about him. Gently I applied the damp cloth to the wounds after removing their temporary bandage. Pain engulfed his face; I was hurting him. I was hurting him, but unlike usual I wasn’t enjoying it. Instead there was a pain deep inside me for every groan that left his mouth and every shiver that came with the mangled injury “I’m sorry, but it has to be cleaned.”

“I understand,” he nearly screamed as the throbbing of his hand deepened. He winced more, squeezing at my leg with his free hand each time I applied more disinfectant to his abrasion. Fingers clawed into my thigh as I squeezed at the wound a bit trying to encourage the release of what lay beneath. A few pieces of glass were still lodged under the skin and with precision I managed to remove them from the affected area, but not without managing to reopen the wound, and not without him screaming in pain. I wanted to cry with him, but creatures such as I, aren’t supposed to cry. We aren’t supposed to feel anything except the primal urge to stay alive. That’s what I would like anyway; it would make this existence a bit easier to bear. Blood dripped lightly now, igniting my hunger once again. Eyes closed as instincts took over. Leaning down I took the wound to my mouth and kissed it, fighting not to lap at it like a wild dog when I did so. Jordan stiffened. “What in fucking God’s name are you doing?” He sounded frightened, pulling away from my touch as he had when I had first encountered him. “S…stop.”

More apologies followed. I had screwed up, been unable to contain my urges. .”I’m sorry I didn’t mean to…I just…” but words were lost to me and there was nothing I could say to calm his uneasiness. He stood, staring around the room uncomfortably and trying to think of a way to escape his current situation, at least that’s what I had assumed.

“Where is the bathroom? I kinda need a shower now.” After wiping the blood from my mouth, I pointed towards the hall.

“Fourth door on the right, towels are in a cabinet next to the tub.” With that he left the room, but my urges to feed remained. The hunger was growing stronger. I’d give in soon enough. It was amazing I had lasted that long considering the sweet scent that had tickled my senses and I the coppery taste that had taken siege of my taste buds. My tongue came out and licked the last of the blood from my lips. “Jordan, what gives you such a unique flavor?” The words barely left my lips, sailed out on a wave of warm air. He hadn’t heard and I was grateful. Never before had I been so taken by a human, least of all a victim. He was more than I had expected to find, and I wanted to claw my way inside of him, to dig out his secrets, the things that made him who he was. I wanted every part of him in every way. I wanted to taste that sweet nectar, but it was more than that. It was becoming more than my game. I didn’t want to know his secrets for my game anymore; I wanted to know because I NEEDED to know. There was something about him that drew me to him, and I feel now that I would have been drawn to him even if his blood hadn’t covered a bathroom floor. I sunk into the couch and waited for him, half expecting him to jump out the window and sneak off. Part of me would have preferred it. A primitive part of me wanted to hurt him, but bit-by-bit the me that was once human was surfacing, and replacing what I had become. I had to push it away, to be a monster, because if I didn’t who knew what might happen.

A creak in the floor snagged my attentions, drawing my gaze to the entrance of the hallway. He hadn’t left. In fact he was now eying me through masses of damp red hair, a towel loosely draped around his slender waist and beads of liquid still dripping from bared appendages. His eyes were filled with longing, desire thick in his now clear pale blue orbs. The silver was shining more than before, giving him surreal inhuman qualities. His bleeding had stopped again and he had wrapped a bandage he had found somewhere around it. “Thank you.” His voice was mildly deep. It was the first time I had realized what it had sounded like. It was silky and beautiful, just like the rest of him.

“Thank you? For what?” Why should he thank someone with intentions like mine? I was going to kill him after all. I was tormenting him, making him trust me, but did I really want to kill him? I was beginning to wonder now. I wanted much more than his blood, though I didn’t realize it until what happened next.

“Thank you for everything Ivan, it means a lot to me.” He took a few steps closer, allowing the towel to nearly fall off his waist as he maneuvered around the couch and placed himself next to me, warm flesh sliding against my bared arm and sending a chill down my spine. “You saved me after all, it seems I owe you something.” Dammit he was making me feel guilty. Saved him? I wanted to snort, laugh at him, make fun of his faulty judgment. “Let me repay you Ivan.” Soft welcoming lips pressed against my shoulder in the beginning of a trail of hot open-mouthed kisses that slowly worked their way up my neck and towards my mouth. It was my turn to panic, to push away.

“W-what do you think you are doing?” I was gasping under the air deprived of me during panic attacks. The kiss pressed into me again, his hands sliding over my chest, fingers twirling up and down in gliding motions. I couldn’t fight it…I kissed him back, my fingers slipping into his crimson locks, twisting in the deep red hair. When we broke free common sense returned to me briefly. “What…what was that?”

“You want me don’t you? I could see it in your eyes the moment you saw me. I can give it to you.” He smiled a bit, I’ll never understand why. He was offering himself to me, which was not something I was used to, least of all from a male. “I could see the way you looked at me when you kissed my hand…that hunger. I can give it to you. I’m used to it.” Could he be a prostitute? His story, maybe I would hear it. My guess was he sold himself into prostitution to pay for his drug addiction.

“No, I can’t,” What was I saying? I was a vampire, a fucking cold-hearted bloodsucker, and one that desperately wanted the boy in every way he was offering; yet I pushed him away. “I can’t do that to you…not just because you feel like you owe me something.” Anger briefly flared in his eyes as he wrapped himself around me, straddling me as what hold the towel still had broke free, exposing him entirely.

“You can’t do that to me? What am I not fucking good enough for you?” Emotions, thick and strong, and more than I could really understand, made me unsure of what he wanted really, only that now he was feeling rejected. “You look at me that way and then you push me away! Am I really that disgusting?” Tears streamed down his cheeks, his weight trembling against me as he burrowed into my chest. “Is that what it is?”

“No.” He was suffering. He was miserable and there was nothing I could do to heal it. Why did I want to? He was just a petty human, another food source for a creature that wanted desperately to live on. I stroked his hair, trying to comfort him. “You aren’t disgusting Jordan, its just that you are too good for me.” I kissed the top of his head, wrapping my arms around him in an attempt to comfort him. “I just don’t want to hurt you.” Hurt him…that was the intention I had originally, but I was finding my hunger was weakening. I just wanted to see him smile, to know what misfortunes had brought forth such pain in those beautiful eyes. Damn humanity, it does fucked up things to you.

“You wont. I…I want to. Please…” His damp skin was cool and sticky against my hand, and oh so tempting. Arms wrapped around my shoulders as tears weakened significantly. “Please let me do this.” With that, another kiss tickled my collarbone, lips moving across my skin in well-trained movement. I didn’t stop him, because I wanted to please him, even if this is what it took. I gasped when his tongue flicked out and traced where the kisses had been on my neck…funny he chose my neck. “Let me do this.” His sapphire and silver jewel-encrusted eyes closed, his fingers mingling with my most sensitive areas. He had done this many times before and the experience was obvious.

“Why? Are you doing it as payment, because you owe me something?” If that was the reason I didn’t really want it, not now. I wanted him to want me. I felt a little bit conceited and greedy, but it was what desire had lead me to crave. I wanted him to need me because then this uncontrollable urge to keep him as my own forever would be somewhat justified. I wanted to keep him for myself.

“Because,” his hand slid down to wrestle with the fastener of my pants, “I want to.” He responded, finally tearing open what stood in his way as he tugged at them in an attempt to finish removing them. He wanted to, that’s why he was doing it…and in that instant my need for him skyrocketed instead of smothering it. The moment he removed my pants I rolled on top of him, bringing my weight over him as I gathered his lips in my own, in a kiss that showed just how much I had been holding back. At first his hands struggled with shock, but he relaxed into it after a moment and pulled me close, kissing me back more passionately than anyone had in the last decade. He was a prostitute, I was a vampire who had planned on devouring him…but things were going in a direction neither of us had planned. Still as much as I wanted him, as much as I wanted this…I still felt the guilt. And I still didn’t know what had destroyed him.

Gasping, I pulled away once more. His eyes were clouding over again, his way of hiding himself from what I was trying to see. He didn’t want to share. He wanted to bear the pain, all of it, by himself. “Jordan you don’t really want to do this. You’ll regret it and so will I.” Holding back the desire that drove me towards near insanity, I diverted my eyes from him towards the floor. “What are you hiding? What’s hurting you?” I was moving too fast, but I didn’t want to see him torture himself anymore. Pain wracked my jaw as his fist came in sharp contact with my face.

“None of your business!” He was trying to forget, to ignore whatever was hurting him, but it wasn’t going to work, and a fist wasn’t going to stop me. My arms wrapped around him as I spoke again.

“Stop holding back, you don’t have to keep it all in. Whatever it is I wont tell anyone I promise.” I stroked my fingers through his damp hair; trying to give him the comfort he so needed, hoping he would share the pain with me. I had gotten used to pain, I could help him bear it. The fist that had smashed into my jaw bone was thrown at my chest a couple of times before relaxing as incomprehensible screams faded to light tears.

“I want to forget. Please…” he pressed into me, holding me tighter than he had before, “help me forget.” I knew what he wanted me to do…if the drugs wouldn’t help him escape he would find new methods, but I wasn’t about to let him.

“Escape from what? You need to tell me.” My lips slid across his forehead, in a soft attempt to bring peace to a tortured soul. We were both in pain, but his was stronger and I wanted to ease it. It didn’t stop the tears, but finally, he cracked.

“A week ago I killed my father.” He choked on the words, obviously fighting breath that was catching in his throat. I continued stroking his hair and whispering words of encouragement. “I didn’t mean to…father he…” He pulled back so that our eyes might make contact. I couldn’t believe he was telling me such secrets, yet I had asked him, so I had to stay calm no matter what he said. He was better than me; at least he regretted what he had done. “He hated the addiction, and hated that I would leave in the middle of the night. Finally he vowed to approach me, waiting in the driveway for me to come home. He wanted…he just wanted to help me. I didn’t see him. I REALLY didn’t see him when I…” He didn’t have to say anymore, and I don’t think he could have even if he wanted to. Kissing him again on the forehead I cried with him. I honestly didn’t know I could still cry but tears had formed somehow and were leaking out once dried up tear ducts. Finally he gathered his strength and words again, finishing what he had started. “After he died, I quit taking drugs. They were why he was dead…it was all my fault. But I saw faces, I heard him. He was haunting me and I wanted to escape…so I took them again. But this time…I saw him in the mirror. I wanted to destroy him. I was angry because he wouldn’t leave me, so I broke the mirror. He wont let me forget. He blames me.”

I wiped the tears from his eyes, neglecting the ones that had formed in my own and wanting to hold him close and comfort him for an eternity. There was no denying it. For some inexplicable reason my humanity was brought back to life when I was with him and I hadn’t missed the pain that came with emotion. “It was an accident. Its not your fault Jordan, its not your fault.” He probably didn’t believe me, even if I meant every word of it. If his father had loved him like he said he had, then there was no doubt about it. One of those creatures humans file away as myth was the source of his problems. He was a magnet for attack, beautiful, and most importantly vulnerable. That’s why I wanted to protect him. “He doesn’t hate you. How could he?” The shattered boy’s tears stopped. The silence frightened me a bit.

“When you first found me you were going to kill me weren’t you?” I froze. “You were weren’t you? It’s why I went with you. Why haven’t you killed me yet?” I didn’t want to answer. What was I supposed to say? Was I supposed to tell him a creature that was supposed to be devoid of emotion had fallen in love with him in but a few hours? That was the moment I realized it. I loved him. I didn’t know if I was exactly IN love with him, but I loved him none-the-less.

“No, I don’t want to kill you, I”

“DON’T LIE TO ME!” He grabbed my shoulders and shook them violently, anger replacing the tears that had been there. “Please! Kill me! Do what it was you were planning on from the moment you saw me!” My throat was constricting more. I didn’t want to, but he was begging me. He wanted it all to end and I couldn’t win either way. If I let him live on, he would hate me, but I didn’t want to take his life. His rage intensified, as did the volume of his voice. “FUCK YOU! YOU DRAGGED ME OUT TO THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE TO KILL ME SO DO IT!”

“Very well,” I sighed, sadness inside so great it was nearly killing me. He was miserable. Life was misery and this was the only way he knew how to escape it. I couldn’t blame him, I had been living an existence that should have ended many years before and not one happy memory graced the entirety of those years. “I will give you what you want.” He watched me with curiosity as I leant over to kiss the bare of his damp neck. “Please forgive me Jordan.” He must have been completely oblivious to what I was, because his entire body stiffened as sharp teeth dug through the outer surface of his skin and released that warm liquid I now hated.

“Vampire?” he asked, words shaky and quiet, and quickly dying at the tips of his lips. The only sounds were his quiet gasps for air, and quivering words that refused to leave his lips. He was crying and I wanted to pull away. He had probably changed his mind, realizing what death was, but I couldn’t pull away. The animal inside of me was craving the blood again and refused to release him until every last drop was drained. Time crept by agonizingly slow, and I regained my senses just as silver and blue eyes rolled back into paled tan skin. I couldn’t do this. I couldn’t kill him because I didn’t want to lose him. I didn’t want to be alone. Seizing him, I pulled him away, tearing the skin on his neck a bit and scraping my fang against my lip before bringing it back into my mouth. Was I too late?

Jordan hardly moved, but breaths were visible from a slowly rising and falling chest. Blood was pouring out from his mangled neck and there was no way he would last much longer. Weak eyes opened slightly and tried their best to focus as a smile perched upon dying lips. “Thank you.”

“Oh God NO!” I fell over him, kissing his hair, kissing his forehead; never ceasing the apologies I had not enough of. He was going to die. It was what he had asked for but it wasn’t what I wanted. I had to tell him before he died, or I would regret it for the rest of eternity. “Jordan…” One last time, just as the last of consciousness threatened to fade away, I kissed him. It was different from the other kisses because he wasn’t kissing me back. I was going to lose him, and another world would claim him. The night would claim another victim and I would live to see another evening, but without him it meant nothing. He wanted this though, all the way to the end. I had granted his final wish by sacrificing my own. When our lips parted the words that had been trying to surface the entire night finally formed through trembling lips. “I love you.” Nobody was in the room to hear it except a cold lifeless corpse. He was gone.

Crying, I re-attained the damp cloth and bucket, wiping the blood from his beautiful form. The least I could do for him would be a proper burial, so I cleaned him. He was so fragile, a shell of a creature that had been strong for so long and finally broken, shattered just like the shards of glass I had first seen him in. Now he was gone. My brain managed to work still, somehow, and as I heard a quiet sigh escape his lips a truth much more horrifying than the one of his death came over me. My hand came up to wipe my lip…the lip he had slashed with the broken mirror. The wound was reopened and then…oh god, then I had KISSED him. My blood…his blood, both had dripped into his mouth. He would be…no he WAS turned. I had fucked up. Instead of giving him the one thing he had begged for I gave him the opposite. I had given him an eternal existence in death feeding off of others. I had turned the one I loved into something I had now learned to hate. “OH GOD I’M SORRY JORDAN!”

I couldn’t face him when he awoke. I was a weak coward unworthy of someone so beautiful’s love. “Please forget everything Jordan, please don’t remember.” I left him in my bed, car keys on the table, perhaps he would become me, and I…I would disappear from existence. But I would forever watch him, protect him. After all it had been my fault. I had destroyed him. No matter what would happen I would always love him and keep him safe. With a deep breath I left the house. It was a pity, I had grown rather fond of my abode, but that didn’t really matter anymore. Nothing did except the fate of a boy who had wanted to die in a bathroom covered in his own blood, and shards of glass.