TRAILS OF SMOKE AND LOVE

The gray swirls around us.

You make excuses to rush me out

You know I can't take the smoke

I'll choke on the fumes and the memories

Your eyes ask if I'm fine

I hope mine are as eloquent with the reply as yours are with your question

I sigh and stare into nothing.

You force my gaze upwards.

You make up your own constellations.

You are trying to get me to smile

Your smile falls when I cannot repeat the action

My throat closes up

I can't even apologize

For ruining your night

Why do you put up with me?

Did you even have a chance to talk to her?

Did I interrupt once again?

No. Don't forgive me this time.

I don't deserve it. I shouldn't be like this.

I should be over this by now.

Should have accepted.

What can I say my dear?

My heart is a rebel with a mind of its own

What else do I need?

I've had time. I've had space.

I haven't even seen him for months.

Why is it like he's branded unto my brain?

Will my sighs reach heaven

As my tears water the earth?

Regret is cruel my dear.

Especially when you had fought against it so