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Skin Deep
Author's Note - Not much to say about this one, except, uh, critique it? Yeah, that would be a good idea. I might want to submit it for a writing contest, but I'm not sure yet. Let me know what you think.
Then high school came, three combined towns in one school, which meant new people (new boys for Hailey and Kate to swoon over) and separate classes. I never saw Kate anymore, except in Algebra, where she sat next to me and asked to copy my homework. I let her because, well, she was my friend and I loved her. Other than that, though, she moved into Hailey's group, and I made other friends. Most of them were boys, and sometimes I thought (or maybe hoped) that Kate was jealous, though most of the guys weren't all that desirable to someone like Kate.
Then freshman year went by, and sophomore year took its place. I didn't see Kate at all, except in the halls when we walked by each other. She'd look at me like she'd never seen me before in my life. She looked so different, too. She'd dyed her formerly blond hair to an ugly black color and she started wearing the tight, somewhat provocative clothes that were Hailey's signature. Though I saw less of her, I heard plenty from the rumor mill. She slept with this guy. She took her top off at that party. She got caught with drugs. She slept with that guy. She was an alcoholic. Who was this person, and what happened to the Kate that I knew?
It was midway through junior year, just before midterms and we both happened to be in the bathroom at the same time. When she was washing her hands, she pushed her sleeves up and I caught a glimpse of scars on her arms. I didn't say anything to her, but they were on my mind for the next few days. I mean, I knew what they were, knew what the idea was, but Kate?
I finally decided to do something about it, and I walked over to her house, the snow swirling around me. The holidays were coming, and I wondered if her new friends even knew that Kate's birthday was on New Year's Eve. I did, and I'd already gotten her a gift. For the last three years, when we stopped hanging out, I'd delivered her gifts by putting them into the mailbox. My name was on the cards, but I never heard a thank you or even an acknowledgement. I kept buying her birthday presents anyway because I didn't want her to think I'd forgotten her – even if she'd forgotten me.
When I reached her house, I knocked on the door. I wasn't sure if she would be home, but it looked like her car was in the garage. Her mother, Donna, answered the door, looking much older than her forty-some years. Her hair looked mussed and her eyes red. Had she been crying?
"Is this a bad time?" I asked, because, though I knew Kate's mother almost as well as my own, I hadn't seen her in a long time and didn't feel comfortably talking to her while she was in this state.
"Come in," she said, indirectly answering my question. I followed her into the house and looked around. It was the same as I remembered it, everything soft and welcoming. She led me into the dining room and I sat down at the table with her, because I got the feeling that she wanted to talk to me.
"Is Kate here?" I asked, and instantly knew that was the wrong question to ask when she starting crying again. What was going on?
"Last Thursday I found Kate in the bathtub and she was bleeding…" Donna said, sobbing in between words. I could not move for the shock that had come over me, and I waited for her to continue, hoping that she wasn't saying what I thought she was saying. "She tried to kill herself but I found her just in time. She's staying in an institution for now," she added, "they told me she has to be rehabilitated before they'll let her go." I took Donna's hands in my own, as some kind of gesture of comfort, but I couldn't breathe. I should have said something earlier… why did I wait so long? What had happened to my best friend? We sat together in silence for a long time, until I knew that I should leave. I let go of Donna's hands and stood up.
"Wait," she said, and went over to the counter to get something. She handed me a piece of scrap paper. I looked down at it – it was an address.
"This is where she is. They won't let you visit, but you can write to her," she said, looking pleadingly at me, "I know you haven't talked in a while, but please, maybe this will help." I nodded and took the paper.
The first thing I did when I got home was to write her a letter. I apologized for everything that I had ever done, for growing apart, for anything that I could have done to hurt her. I told her that I cared, that even if Hailey or her other friends didn't do anything to save her, I would have tried if I had known.
For almost a year, I wrote letters every week, and I never heard anything back from her. At school, the rumor mill was still churning with ideas about what had happened to Kate. She's in rehab for drug use. She went to Arizona to have a baby. She went to Hollywood to become an actress. Her mother killed her and hid the body. She'd tried to kill herself and had to go to a mental hospital. She tried to kill someone else and had to go to a mental hospital. I defended her as often as I could, but I knew it didn't make a difference. They just came up with more things to say about her. I was happy to only have half a year left in that place.
In April of my senior year, her mother told me that Kate would be coming home any day. I waited and waited, nervous about my upcoming graduation, final exams and about seeing Kate after so long. Every day seemed to go by so slowly, and every night was practically sleepless. I wondered what Kate looked like. I wondered if she'd missed me. I wondered if she'd even read any of my letters.
It was April twenty-first, and the rain was pouring out of the sky, but at least I didn't have to go anywhere. I was baking cookies in the kitchen for lack of something better to do, when the knock came at the door. My heart jumped and I told myself to calm down, but I knew it was her.
When I opened the door, my heart was slamming in my chest and I couldn't breathe. It was Kate, and she was back. The black had grown out of her hair, and it was back to being that soft blond. She was wearing just a t-shirt and jeans but she was glowing, and she even smiled at me. Wordlessly, I let her into the house and closed the door behind her. Neither of us spoke for the longest time and I didn't know what to say.
"I'm sorry," Kate said, "I was stupid." That was all she said, but somehow it was plenty. We stood there in silence for a moment longer.
The next thing I knew, she was kissing me and her arms were wrapped around me and her mouth was on mine and our bodies were pressed together. I felt like my heart was going to explode in bliss, but I just kept kissing her.
I was probably the least fake person she'd ever known, but I was her best friend, and she loved me.