“You’re the dumbest human being I’ve ever met in my life, Syd. Seriously.”

Syd threw the dirty rag and hit Sam in the face, before slumping his face back down on the counter. “gofumyersev”

Sam pulled rag the off of him. “What?”

“I said ‘go fuck yourself’. Leave me alone.”

“Dude, don’t be all bummed and angry at me, just because of some girl.”

Syd looked up at him with a tired expression on his face, but Sam simply said “bro’s before ho’s”. Syd nodded in response - after all, this such order was sacred amongst men as the foundation of friendship. Well, that and video games, of course.

“All I’m sayin’ man, is that it’s been a few days now since she came by. She’ll be back and you can try again. Girls are like the final boss battles of life...just keep trying and eventually you’ll figure out what to do and how to handle them.”

“Yeah” Syd droned passively, “you being the keeper of all relationship knowledge.”

Sam dropped his shoulders and decided it would be more to his benefit to just go in the back room and watch a movie. He knew Syd well enough to realize when he couldn’t help him out of a mood. “Is there anything else you want to me to do, put back, or whatever?”

“No, there’s nothing.”

“Alright. I’ll be in the back.”

Syd didn’t reply.

Marge was lying down on the couch. She’d watched the X-Files: Season One straight more times now than she wished to at any point. Kip was back typing at the computer to “Camille”. The two of them had resumed this position where he would talk to his girlfriend on the 

computer and she would just sit around, saying little to nothing. Marge kept thinking about that movie-obsessed-rapist-guy.

It isn’t that big of a problem, is it?
Seriously, he’s probably not even a rapist, that’s just Kip overreacting or something.
Not that she would mind...
Wait, no, bad thoughts, way too soon for that.
Remember ninth grade: rape is bad.
It doesn’t matter, anyway, he’s not a rapist!
But...is he?
Dammit.
But...is that too bad?
She could convince him not to rape people or animals anymore, right?
But if not...
You can get by the rape if the raping person in question is cute, right?
Wait, what was she thinking?!

“Marge? Marge! OI!”

Marge blinked back to the world of Earth and looked a Kip with a “uh, whuh?” look on her face.

“I’m gonna be gone for a bit. Camille’s coming over. You gonna be alright?”

“Um..yeah, sure.”, she managed to mutter, still somewhat lost in thought but able enough to add “Have fun.” before he left.

Kip typed “O-kay...I’ll..see..you...there...” into the transcript, grabbed his backpack and went out the door.

Swell, Marge thought, now what?

Syd slid through the door of the back room and slumped himself down onto the couch next to Sam. Sam in turn paused the DVD player and asked “aren’t you supposed to be running the counter?”

“I put up the ‘back in half an hour’ sign. I need a break.” Syd replied, adding “what’re you watching?”

“RoboCop, but I can put something else on if you don’t feel like this one..”

“No, no, don’t bother - seeing a mutant guy get splattered into goo by a rampaging sports car is probably the best thing for me right now”, Syd said in complete and total seriousness.

“What if she comes back though, and we’re closed?”

“She’ll just have to come back later. I’m not going to let her just pass by. As you said, she’s still got X-Files, and you know how the Old Man gets if things aren’t in order for a long amount of time.”

Sam nodded his head, but didn’t say anything. He leaned over the couch to open the mini-fridge and pulled out two sodas. They toasted their awesome ability to let girls slip away, and continued to watch the cinematic cyborg wreck carnage on foolish evildoers.

God, this is stupid...but at least Kip’s not here.

Marge walked with her arms crossed through the town, making her way to the video store where the rapist(?) and his instigator friend worked. She saw the lighted sign on top of the store was still turned on, but she didn’t see anyone walking around inside. When she finally came up to the door, she saw a ‘back in 30 minutes’ sign that irritated her deeply to the core even though she wasn’t quite sure why.

“Uh...hello?” she said to noone in particular, and knocked on the door. No answer, and noone seemed to be anywhere inside the store. “Oh wait” Marge said to herself, “he’s prob’ly in the back room”, and sat herself down on the sidewalk against the wall. After 12 or so minutes, Syd took down the sign and opened the door, only to see Marge sitting down against the wall, looking up at him.

Shit! She was outside this whole time! Now she’s gonna think I’m an asshole!

Marge tried to think of a way to passively wave off the fact that she had been waiting outside the door just to talk to him without sounding creepy, but failed miserably and could only move her lips up and down like she was trying to say something important (which Syd thought was actually pretty cute).

Shit! Now he’s going to think I’m some weird-ass stalker!

After they both shared another in their history of awkward silences, Syd finally asked if she wanted to go for a walk. Marge nodded shyly and Syd held a finger up. He disappeared inside the store for a bit, and Marge could hear Sam’s whiny counter-running protests inside. Then Syd came back out pulling a hoodie over his body.

They walked for down the street, saying nothing to each other. Both Syd and Marge were afraid of saying something potentially embarrassing. Marge shivered a little from the cold, and Syd instinctively took off his hoodie and handed it to her. She put it on, felt its warmth and how comfortable it was, and smiled a little to herself. Marge could tell Syd seemed a little nervous, but she wasn’t sure from what. Finally, he stammered “where’s, uh..where’s your friend?”

“Uh, Kip? He’s gone to see his girlfriend”

Syd paused. “..that dude’s got a girlfriend?”, realizing only too late that was probably going to insult her or something. Damn his mouth, and all that spews from it.

“Yeah, some girl named Hot...Camille.”

Syd was going to ask about her refraining from the word ‘hot’, but he thought better of it. Best not to interrupt how good the night was going so far.