irony: incongruity, twist, paradox (burn baby, burn)

he’s crying in the most unsightly way
(wheezing whining whimpering)
“she’s not going to come back”
they keep whispering in sardonic voices
and along with the images of her oncebeautiful(dropdead)gorgeous face,
those voices will always haunt him

he can’t escape-
asher is falling
d
o
w
n
breaking on impact,
crashing and burning,
bones turning into ashes
(the color of his hair)

“sagesagesage”
he whispers again and again
but he knows he’s killed her

lifeless face
limp body
they call it suicide but he calls it murder

“she was braver than you-
she had the courage to let go,”
they kept saying and he just wanted them to
s t o p
he wanted everything to just stop
(freeze in time)

he just wanted her back again
he wanted to take back all the mean things he said
(and change the past by getting her to leave him,
to save her when she was dying)

asher just wanted his little sage back

“follow her.”
“follow her.”
“follow her.”
the voices overlapped and drowned out his screams

“pull the trigger”
asher shook his head nonono

“don't be a coward, pull the trigger”
urgent voices calling to him for (any) release
(like the effect she had on him when she was around)

he heard voices outside his bedroom door

“just pull the goddamn- ”
bang

the voices stopped as his heart slowed
(they only belonged in his head after all)

just three more breaths(memories)
“you don’t understand”
“i love you sage”
“i’m sorry for everything and anything”
but since when has a mere sorry ever fixed a fucking thing
he drew his last breath

then
“i love you ash, i love you too”
she whisperedcriedbelieved
(turns out, she was never dead at all-
it was all in his head
it was all in his fucking head)

yes, i know. rant-like and jumbled it's supposed to be confusing- the boy has issues that he couldn't over come
but to sum this chapter up:
ash believes sage has killed herself by shooting herself in the head (because of him), voices push him over the edge so he shoots himself in the head (he wants to be with her so badly), but he still manages to stay alive for a short while, and he has flashbacks of somethings he has said to sage and he has his regrets/thoughts, he dies, but then sage comes running into the room a little too late, and tells his corpse that she loves him (something she has never said before), and no, she doesn't kill herself (her name's sage not juliet haha)
and the irony is that he was always so worried that she would die because of him but in reality he dies because of her
bittersweet ending... okay. sad ending.