Chapter 2

I’m going to smile like nothings wrong,

Talk like everything’s perfect,

Act like it’s just a dream,

And pretend he’s not hurting me

University of Wisconsin – Madison

September 7, 2006

10:20 a.m.

Why, do people dream?” Mr. Ramien asked after ten hours of silence. Psychology was one of those classes I just had to take, because according to the old hag who was in charge of sending me here, to learn more about the human mind this class would be perfect for me. But, really, all it does is make me fall asleep. I guess because the interesting stuff still hasn’t come. Any person can freely say that the human mind is most likely the hardest topic to study, because I have to study sleep disorders, dream interruption, spend a few hundred hours in a hospital, and on top of all that we have to take Biology, and Sociology. The list is endless on the classes we needed to take for one subject, but because the human mind controls everything in the human body we need to understand how it all works. Right now we’re starting with the basics, dreams.

“Dreams,” I began, “are considered the golden road to a persons mind. They take a person to a place we’re they can experience those forbidden feelings they can never do in the real world.” I smiled as Mr. Ramien stared at me with an approving smile.

“No,” Tyler Stone pitched in, “we dream so that a person can learn about their deepest secrets, and their own secret feelings.”

“You’re both right,” Mr. Ramien said going over to the board on the stage. College is different then high school, but I’m pretty sure any person would tell you that. The classrooms would resemble the auditorium in any high school, and where the professor stood is where a stage would be for a regular auditorium, “Dreams are the golden road for a person, but it is where that golden road leads, which is what Mr. Stone had said: The golden road leads to those deep dark secrets and secret feelings.” Is that so? “Now, there are many different types of dreams,” He continued, “We are all different people, who have different minds, and who experience different events, and with that comes different dreams.”

Mr. Ramien was thirty-nine years old; he was most likely one of the youngest professors on this campus. He had black hair that he had cut over the summer, and fair skin. He was already showing signs of aging, but he was still good looking. He had the deepest green eyes I have ever seen in my life. They were wonderful. As he spoke the words seemed to come out like wine; so smoothly, velvet, and sweet.

“Now,” He said leaning against the podium, “I’ll see you all tomorrow.” And at once everyone packed up their things grateful to be leaving. I was sitting on the front row, and didn’t bother to pack up my things. Tyler stood up from behind me, and I could hear him say something to me, but didn’t catch it. I looked back at him, but he was already heading up to leave. I yawned sleepily. “You were falling asleep in the beginning of class.” He accused coming forward towards me.

Before I could say anything he leaned down, and brushed his lips against mine. I smiled, as I said against his lips, “Whose fault is that?”

10:30 a.m.

Maribel Police Station

“Would you rather,” Matt began sitting back, “eat ten spiders or wear green for the rest of your life?” Wes sipped his coffee with a half smile on his face.

“I’ll eat the spiders,” Wes answered. It was a slow morning, like all mornings. Except that Charlie, had once again, driven drunk, and Matt had to chase him all the way outside of town, and drag his drunken ass back to the station. They called Addie, but they had to wait for her now. It was easier to just play Would You Rather, than do nothing while they waited for Addie.

Matt made a face of disgust, “Man, that’s nasty, why on earth would you eat the spiders?”

“Well, if I eat the spiders then I can get sick, throw up, and just get it over with. But if I had to wear green I would be miserable for the rest of my life. Besides, I don’t like green.” Wes smiled as he picked up his apple and took a giant bite out of it.

“I would rather eat ten spiders as well,” Came a voice from the doorway. Both Wes and Matt turned around and saw Addie standing there. “And Wes is right. Just get it over with.” Addie looked over at the holding cell where her father was slumped over. “I swear, I thought I had hidden all the liquor.” She said with embarrassment washing all over her.

Matt shrugged standing up to get him out, “Don’t worry Addie, just say yes to a date with me, and all your father’s charges shall be dropped.” Matt looked over at her with a joking grin.

“If that’s what it takes, then you can keep him.” Addie crossed her arms over her chest and looked at Matt and her expression basically told him that she wasn’t going to fall for his little date tricks.

“You would rather keep your father locked up then go on one date with me?” Matt asked looking at her shocked. Charlie had already passed out, and was snoring like a hungry lion.

Addie nodded her head as if it were the most obvious thing, “Basically yes.”

Over at the desk, Wes was putting up his files trying to hide a smile that was forming on his face. Addie always had a bitter sense of humor, and that was one of the first things that he had noticed about her when they were in high school. Bethany, on the other hand, would have considered Addie’s words as childish and disrespectful towards her father.

“Gosh,” Matt said opening the cell, “You are cruel.” He went in to get Charlie, and Addie ran towards his side to hold her father.

“Thanks Matt, but I got it from here.” Addie’s father slumped over her like a wet washed out towel, and as she walked, his feet dragged across the floor leaving black marks from his shoes.

Wes stood up as he saw her struggling to bring her heavy father over towards her car, “Here, let me help,” He took Charlie’s other hand, and put it across his shoulders to bring some weight off of Addie. As he was holding Charlie by the back with his other hand, his hand brushed against Addie’s and at once he pulled away feeling like he was in high school looking at her and wishing. It almost makes me laugh seeing a grown man still grave over something he lost years earlier, but it also makes me sad. It’s not Wes’s fault he was blind.

They dragged Charlie out of the station and into Addie’s car. It was difficult to get him in, because his head just wouldn’t go down, but after a really harsh push they put him in.

“He’ll have one hell of a headache when he wakes up,” Wes said after the door was shut.

“Yeah, right along with his hangover,” Addie laughed.

Wes shook his head with a smile, “The poor man. It’s difficult to understand, Jason lost his wife, and yet he still hasn’t gone to the bottle.”

“That’s because he has a daughter to take care of.” She pointed out.

“So, Charlie has a daughter,” Wes looked at Addie with annoyance towards Charlie for making things difficult for both Addie and Kimberly. Charlie just didn’t see anymore what he had right in front of him because he was too busy lingering in the past. But, what Wes didn’t know, was that Charlie wasn’t the only person in this town he was letting his past control his life. He was just the only one who was willing to show it.

“Yes, but I can take care of myself, unlike Emily,” Addie pointed out, taking out her wallet.

“Is that so?” That was when Wes crossed the line. Addie looked up at him, and her eyes read: How dare you! Wes could see the pain in her eyes, and at once regret his words. They both knew they were tied together with an awful past that not even Matt knew about.

Addie looked down feeling the words like a slap on the face. She felt her chest tighten as she said, “How much do I owe you?” Her words came out in a low tone but Wes could still hear the shakiness because his words had reopened old wounds that could never be heeled.

After a moment, Wes shook his head, stiffly, “Just forget,” And with that said and done he walked away wishing that it wasn’t Addie he was walking away from but from the past.

2:30 p.m.

The day had dragged on endlessly. During class, all the teachers made the students stand up in front of class to introduce themselves, and it was exceptionally hard on Isabella. She wasn’t much of a presenter and would have preferred to have stayed quiet, and just go through the day like the ghost that she felt like. Most kids already knew each other anyways; it was just an excuse for the teachers to embarrass them.

The only teacher that didn’t make them do that was Ms. Starling, the only resident that was from Europe, she just went straight to the subject.

As she walked out of school, she walked right pass the school bus. Since she found out that David would be in the same bus as her, she refused to go back on it. Besides, she didn’t mine walking home. She would walk to Canada if that meant she never had to see David again.

She had her hands tugged into her black sweater pockets, and walked with her head held high, and no matter how mighty she seemed on the outside. Walking without a care, an expressionless face, standing tale, with her head held high, she still felt herself falling into an endless pit.

“Ouch!” She looked over towards the bushes where she had heard the sound. She had actually heard Kimberly’s voice. Walking over towards it, she saw Kimberly in the bushes trying to put on her sweat pants over her mini-skirt. But there were thorns in some of them.

“You okay?” She asked raising her eyebrows knowing that Kimberly was most likely not okay.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” She responded lying on her back trying to pull on the pants.

Isabella looked around trying to find Alex, “Where’s your boyfriend?” She’s never liked Alex personally, and preferred to use his name as less as possible.

“He ditched at lunch,” Ah, of course. Isabella thought knowing that right after sixth hour, her lunch period, Alex never showed up. The high school gave open lunch, so everyone could go home or out around to get lunch, as long as they came back to school, and Alex never came back. “But he said he’ll meet me at my mom’s diner.”

“You know, I don’t think Addie is going to be happy with seeing Alex, especially after what happened this morning,” No one could have such an expressionless tone then Isabella. She was so numb, that it seemed that her words were just as numb.

“Well, Mom can deal.” Kimberly snapped back standing up dressing herself back into the clothes she had left in.

Isabella knew there was no getting through Kimberly. It was like since she had met Alex, Kimberly was just so different. It seemed that a lot of people changed last year – not just Isabella herself. But Kimberly, David, me, and so many others. It would be like an alien came, abducted everyone in town, and brought them all a replacement and these replacements were so cheerful or like the originals.

She was about to walk away, when Emily’s face came, “Is, Kim, wait,” Both girls stopped and turned around to look at Emily. “My birthday is this Saturday and the two of you are going to be there,” She handed Kimberly one invitation and Isabella three, “Give the extra two to your friends,” She whispered as if she didn’t know Michelle and Nicole’s name.

“What’s going to happen?” Kimberly asked looking at the invitation.

“Oh,” Emily said twirling a lock of her golden brown hair with her index finger, “Nothing, just going out to watch movies, eat junk food, and have a sleep over.” She partially lied.

Isabella looked at her trying to deceiver if there was something more to this, but then she shrugged, “Fine. See you tomorrow.” She said with no expression at all again, and just made her way towards home.

Her legs felt light as air, and half the time she couldn’t even remember making it from the school grounds to the town square. She looked at her watch to find out that only fifteen minutes had passed, and with a heavy sigh she shook her head. Time moves too slowly, she thought stopping at a bus stop. Everyday Isabella says that time does not want to move fast, and that the world couldn’t move fast enough, and at first I always considered the fact that she was trying to move towards something in the near future, but now I am thinking that maybe she isn’t trying to run towards something, but runaway from something.

“Hello Isabella,” Miss. Eleanor Cunningham said across the street as she watered her plants. Miss. Cunningham was known as the towns potter, and her flowers were all use for cemeteries or holiday festivals. Isabella gave her a small wave forcing a smile on her face.

She waved over towards everyone else who passed. Walter Hale and Jimmy Carls, the keeper for the cemeteries waved over towards her as they passed by her. Rubin Curtis, the travel agent waved as she came out of the small Italian restaurant two stores down from Miss. Cunningham. Isabella use to love getting flowers from Miss. Cunningham or visiting Hale and Carls at night or visiting Rubin. There was just so many people she knew and loved and always loved to be around everyone, but now she could careless about them.

“Isabella,” I called out rushing towards her. She stood up, picking her backpack slinging over her shoulder, the two of us began the long journey home. “What were you doing out here?” I asked after a while.

She took a moment to answer. Her head was down, like always, her eyes lost in thought. “Mm, just wanted to walk with my favorite sister,” She answered trying to sound like my sister, even though I knew she was completely gone.

“I’m your only sister,” I said rolling my eyes.

“And that’s why you’re my favorite.” She put her arm around my shoulders, and brought me closer into a hug. I knew what she meant but I still couldn’t get myself to enjoy this.

“Hello there ladies,” Erwin called over whipping his greasy hand with a red rage. We walked over towards him with a bright smile. “How was the first day?” He said to Isabella. Erwin’s family had own this gas station since gas since this town was discovered, maybe even since gas was first used.

“Alright,” She said one thing but meant another.

“Hi, Erwin,” We all turned around to Bob who was on the other side of the street, and who also owned his own gas station. “Trying to steal my customers again.”

“Trust me Bob; I wouldn’t need to try very hard to take customers away from you. I wouldn’t blame them for wanting to get away from you.”

“Are you trying to start something with me Erwin?”

“Something’s already begun Bob, the minute you disrespectfully but your gas station in front of my families.”

“I’ll have you know that I was here before you.”

“I don’t think so.” During this angry fight, Isabella silently, but safely led me away without either of them noticing. As they shout back and forth at each other their words became bitter and bitter.

We walked in silent side by side knowing that silence was the only neutral area for the two of us, and we were practically daring one another to say something. I never once noticed the purple around my sister’s eyes, the dark circles; I never noticed how pale her face really was though my sister had naturally light brown skin looked warn out; her jet-black hair, which was once said to be the darkest hair color in all of Maribel, was once velvet, smooth, full of volume, and shine, but it was now washed out, full of tangles, and like her skin, completely warn out. I couldn’t even remember the last time she brushed it. Her dark brown eyes were always fogged up, she looked thinner then before, and she looked weak.

“Hey girls,” I looked over at Wes who was sitting on the hood of his car. I walked over towards him, though I had a feeling he was mostly talking to Isabella.

“How’s it going Working-Dude?” I asked cheerfully. I always create fun names for Wes but for some reason he doesn’t like them. I never understood why.

He looked annoyed, but cut to the chase, “Why aren’t you at school?”

I shrugged, “Decided to skip my other classes,” I responded with a plain answer.

He looked at Isabella obviously irritated at me, “And you?”

“Its high school,” She responded bitterly, “What do you think?” It’s amazing that this was the man that had spent every single night picking us up from daycare and babysat us until we were happily in bed. If you had asked me when I was a baby who my dad was, my answer would have been Wes, because that’s what it felt like. He was always there. I must say he must have needed the money badly.

He felt like Isabella’s words had slapped him in the face, “Oh…so nothing’s changed.” He said more to himself then to us.

“Though,” She added, “everyone did call me ‘Mary.’” She said shaking her head not understand.

Wes began to laugh, and Isabella didn’t look happy at all. When Wes saw my confused face and Isabella’s furies face, he said, “I’m sorry, it’s just that when I was in high school, people were having sex everywhere, and doing drugs, and what not. So this guy in the football team began this little tradition where they would call all the new girls, Mary, has in the Virgin Mary.” Isabella blinked. I understood it, and found it a little funny, but I don’t think she did.

“Well, aren’t they sad?” That was all she said. The old Isabella would have laughed and made a joke out of it. But I needed to remind myself that this wasn’t the old Isabella.

Wes stopped laughing seeing as how Isabella didn’t get it, “C’mon, it’s funny.” He said but she didn’t even crack a smile and he sighed defeated. Looking at her this way, he almost had flashbacks on how he had seen her late last year, which stung his heart. “How about I buy you girls some ice cream?” And before we could answer he took Isabella’s arm, which was entangled with my arm, and led us to Addie’s diner about a block away.

I waved happily at the people that we passed by, but my smile disappeared when Wes opened the door to the diner and the first thing we heard were dishes breaking.

“What the hell is your problem, grandma?!” Alex shouted out.

“My problem is that my daughter is walking around town looking like a prostitute for a no one!” Addie shouted back.

“A no one? Don’t worry about it lady you wouldn’t be the first one to think of me as a no one!” And then the sound of glass breaking came next, followed by a crowed of customers who looked relived to leave.

“Look what you’ve done? You had gotten rid of all my customers! Just leave my family and me alone!”

“I’d be happy to!” And then Alex burst throw the doors. His blond hair was a mess, and his face was red, and his eyes were hungry with rage. He looked at us, and then turned away in disgust. Other’s that were near the diner watched as Alex walked away, and the door to Addie’s diner was wide open, so we could not only hear, but see her fight with Kimberly.

“Thanks a lot Mom!” Kimberly shouted, “Why do you have to ruin everything for me?”

There was a moment of silence, and peeking in, I could see Addie looking astonished at her own daughter for not only raising her voice at her like that but for what she said. Addie looked like someone had died a rope around her neck, and was suffocating her. She was speechless for a few seconds.

“Ruin everything for you?” She repeated like she couldn’t believe what Kimberly had just said, “I’m your mother; I was trying to protect you.”

“Do me a favor and don’t! I don’t need you! I don’t want you!” Kimberly’s words came out of her mouth, and stabbed Addie in the heart. “Alex is all I need and you’re just jealous because I found a man to love me and you’re still alone taking care of your alcoholic father!” Kimberly should have shut her mouth by then, but she kept on going. “Don’t try and help me ever again…”

Finally Addie seemed to have caught her breath long enough to say, “Don’t you dare speak to me like that. I don’t want to hear another word.” She used as much power in her voice as she could but even I could see she was shaking underneath her skin.

There was silence again. I swallowed hard wondering how on earth Kimberly could build enough strength to say these things to her own mother. Her mother! I never see my mother, she should be grateful that at least hers cares enough to keep her away from a troublemaker like Alex. But I kept my mouth shut. This was between Addie and Kimberly, and no matter how much I wanted to go in there and defend Addie, I didn’t.

The world seemed to have made a big shift for Addie. Never once has she ever heard her only daughter speak to her that way before. She was shaking. But she tried not to show it, knowing that Kimberly would just use that against her. What happened to my baby? She thought wanting to cry.

“Fine,” Kimberly said putting her arms across her chest, “Then how about three,” There was only a second of silence before Kimberly shouted out, “I hate you!” And ran out of the diner and the direction Alex had gone.

Addie stood there with broken dishes at her feet not able to breathe or even move. Her heart felt like it had been shot. Never has she felt so much pain in the pit of her stomach. No teenager or kid really understood what it was like for a parent to hear those words come out of the child that they had carried in their wombs, nursed, protected, loved, cared for; given up apart of themselves to that child only to have them say to the rest of the world that they hated them. It felt like a knife to Addie. No matter how far Kimberly left, and no matter how hard she tried Kimberly would always be apart of Addie; Addie will always be able to feel when her child needed her. If only Kimberly knew the pain Addie had endured for her.

She was so numb that she didn’t feel herself collapse, she didn’t feel the burning out tears coming down her eyes, she didn’t feel Wes taking her by the waist and picking her up, she didn’t feel Charlie and Wes taking her up to her room, she didn’t even notice when she closed her watering eyes; all she could feel was Kimberly’s words repeating themselves.

Wes came back down; feeling like time had repeated itself. The way Addie fell, the way tears were streaming down her eyes, the way he picked her up, and tried to take her to a safe haven was so familiar. When he looked over at Isabella the familiar feelings of helplessness came over him. There was only so much he could do for them. He couldn’t go to their heart and snatched the pain away. He couldn’t go back and time and stop it all from happening. He could only be a witness for the worst to come.

“Diners closed,” Wes announced to the remaining customers who stayed there to witness the whole event. Everyone got up and walked away, some tried to walk away with dishes in their hands.

Isabella and I were still inside when Wes locked the diner up. He looked so drained. “Charlie’s upstairs with Addie,” Wes said mostly to himself instead of us. We knew – or at least I did – that at the moment it was Wes who wanted to be upstairs with Addie, comforting her. “Um…Natalie, make yourself useful and get a broom and sweep this mess up.” He ordered discombobulated. I didn’t argue or shut back some of my smart-mouth words. Though if I would, I would have told him that he shouldn’t be wasting his time here, but tracking Kimberly down, and bringing her ungrateful ass back here.

Coming back around with a broom, the last thing I heard was the sound of a cars tires screeching before the sound of people crying out came.