|Curse These Feelings
Author: CK Shorty PM
-COMPLETE...SPIN OFF ONE-SHOT of Sweet Music.- Jayce POV. :I hate being the ‘good guy’, the guy that will step aside as he watches the girl he’s crazy about as she holds hands with another guy, kisses another guy, hugs another guy that ISN'T me.Rated: Fiction T - English - Romance - Words: 2,496 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 13 - Published: 10-30-07 - Status: Complete - id: 2432720
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
A short spin off one shot related to my completed story SWEET MUSIC. This takes place a few days after the epilogue of Sweet Music. Before reading this, if you haven't already read Sweet Music, I'd suggest you do so because this might spoil a few things that are found in Sweet Music, and also spoil the ending of that story. If you don't plan on reading SM, then I guess go ahead and read this and pick up on things. This is entirely in Jayce's POV. I had a lot of people saying that they wanted a sequel focused on Jayce with cameos of the other main characters, but I have no time to write a sequel (though it's tempting just a smidge) when I have unfinished stories and other stories on my computer to be posted! College doesn't help all of this either. Sorry. So, hopefully, this Jayce fix is good enough, and you get a peek into what he has been thinking all of this time.
curse these feelings
And how can you mend a broken heart?
How can you stop the rain from falling down?
How can you stop the sun from shining?
What makes the world go round?
How can you mend this broken man?
How can a loser ever win?
I unwrapped my white scarf from around my neck as I entered the mall, holding the door for two other people and removing my hand after they said their thanks and wandered away. Greg took off his beanie, fixing his hair in one of the windows as my eyes drifted further ahead to Patience and London. Patience caught the sleeve of his jacket, getting his attention and pointing to one of the many fast food places located around us. Greg placed his beanie in his coat pocket, and we headed towards them.
"Why didn't your girlfriend tag along?"
Greg smiled slightly, "She met Stacey and the two clicked—thus, they're doing girlish things…or at least, that's my best guess." Out of every single girl he ever dated, I would have to say that Molly is my favorite. She's a sweet girl, she actually enjoys watching stupid humored movies, and she's not a skank like most-ninety percent-of the girls that attended our old high school. "She just said that they were hanging out." He nudged my arm, "And get this, Stacey made a comment about Molly being cute."
I laughed, "To you?"
"Nah, she told Patience. First my sister, now my girlfriend…it's a shame that she never found me remotely attractive…"
"…You're still attracted to her? Move on, man! You got a girl!"
"Come on, you can't look me in the face and tell me you don't find Stacey attractive at all. She's hot." True. "Everyone knows it. I just say it out loud. My girlfriend even agrees that she's good looking."
"So…if Stacey by chance decided that she was into men as well, would you drop Molly?"
He rubbed his chin in contemplation, laughing when he caught me rolling my eyes, "I'm kidding. I'm fully into Molly. Be right back." He walked off through the numerous small tables, getting in line behind a few people at the place he wanted to eat, a Japanese place. I glanced over to London and Patience, watching the both of them split into different directions, London choosing where Greg was eating. I made my way over to where Patience was standing, stopping next to her and giving her a smile when she looked up. She returned the smile, the both of us looking to where London and Greg were, sharing a few laughs.
"You're not getting what they're getting?" She asked.
"I'm more of a burger type of dude, and half of the time I don't even know what I'm eating when it comes to foreign food. I'll stick to American food," I said, giving my attention to the large menu above the counter, my hands in my pockets as we stood quietly behind six people. I glanced down at Patience when she started searching through her hoodie pocket, pulling out crinkled dollar bills and a bit of change, counting through it under her breath. "I can pay for you, ya know."
She laughed a bit, flashing me a smile, "I stupidly forgot my wallet. I have money—I do work here in the mall after all! Lucky me, I left some money in my pocket. It's a bad habit. I'm always forgetting stuff in my pockets, which bugs the crap out of my mom whenever she does my laundry." I stuck a smile onto my face as I stared at her, defying the urge to grab her by her shoulders and kiss her. I noticed that, that feeling came over me whenever she gave me one of her sweet smiles that lit up her hazel eyes, small dimples appearing on both of her cheeks that added a bit of innocence to her tough exterior. I looked away from her as we moved up in the line, deciding to get my mind of her lips that I once put my own lips against.
"How is that job going?" She was thrilled when she 'kicked ass' during her interview a few months ago, getting a call days later from the Shoe store that sold hip and rad shoes for both men and women.
"It's going great. Everyone is really cool there, and it's nice that the manager is a guy…and I work with five other guys. I don't have to put up with any girls, but I heard they're actually hiring another girl and they said I would get along with her since they already know I prefer hanging around men over women. Turns out she's quite the tomboy too."
I nodded, rubbing at my newly gauged ear. I had considered putting an application where she worked, but I didn't want to come off as a stalker. I'm not a stalker. I wouldn't say that I'm obsessedwith her. I don't sit at home and wait for her to call me—though, I do tend to get a tad keyed up when I read the screen and it's her name.
I don't follow her around either, ducking behind trees and bushes.
I am far from a stalker.
My eyes flew to London when he came up next to her, nudging her arm and pointing to where Greg and him had decided to sit. Patience nodded as he walked off, sitting across from Greg at the table. To anyone—and probably everyone else, they looked like an odd pair when they were seen together.
London wore the type of clothes that I would consider 'preppy'…I suppose. You can tell by looking at him that his clothes aren't cheep. Patience, on the other hand, didn't really care if she even went out of the house with her clothes mismatched. Even now, she's wearing a black hoodie with a white smiley face in the middle, sticking its tongue out and giving the middle finger. Her jeans have a few tears in them, and I'm pretty sure that's a grass stain on her knee…
If anyone were to ask me who she looked good next to, I would say me…but that's just my own stupid personal opinion.
Finally, we reached the counter, and I let her go first, and she happened to know the man behind the cash register. He laughed at something she said, telling her that it was his third day of working at 'this lame ass place, but I need the money kind of job.' She laughed as well, her laugh like music to my ears. Whenever I can make her laugh, I can't help but care about her even more.
Have I considered coming between London and Patience?
Hate to admit it, but yeah, I have. It's entered my thoughts once or twice…maybe three times.
But I wouldn't do that to her. She's happy. She has wanted London for a long time, and she finally got what she wanted, so who am I to mess up what she has waited so patiently for?
I came up with the thought once to set Patience up, getting a guy to kiss her and take a picture with my camera phone…horrible, I know. The thought was quickly dismissed though!
Patience would be hurt if London ever saw the false picture and the guy that kissed her would probably end up with a black eye or missing teeth. Then he'd probably tell her the entire plan if she threatened him, and she would hunt me down…and get Greg to help. I may be considered his best friend, but he wouldn't think twice about hurting me if I ever did anything to hurt Patience in some way.
I hate being the 'good guy', the guy that will step aside as he watches the girl he's crazy about as she holds hands with another guy, kisses another guy, hugs another guy that isn't me…ugh! Every time I think about it all, I just feel like shit.
"Can I help you?"
I snapped out of my thoughts, looking at the man. "Uh…yeah," I spoke as I stepped up to the counter, ordering what I wanted as Patience left to go sit at the table. I waited for a few seconds before getting my tray of food, wandering over to the table and taking my seat next to Greg as he rambled on about his favorite type of mini-skirt with London. Patience shoved three fries in her mouth, listening intently as her boyfriend talked to her twin.
After a few minutes, we all got to talking, fries getting thrown at me by Patience when I teased her about the spill she took as she headed to the car before we came to the mall, slipping on a patch of ice. Greg laughed out loud, "That was so funny when she landed right on her back. Man, wish I had my camera when that happened to put it on my website for everyone to see."
"Oh, I see that you don't care that I probably felt a lot of pain, and that me falling on my back could've resulted in me breaking it or something," Patience put in, taking a sip of her shake with a small glare sent at Greg.
"Whatever," Greg spat out, waving her off, "weren't you the one that laughed hysterically when I slipped and fell down the stairs two days ago? My life flashed before my eyes—" London let a laugh slip, "Those are a lot of stairs, bastard, and I fell from the top!" He looked at Patience, "And you didn't even try to see if I was okay as I lied there at the bottom of the stairs, motionless, my limbs twisted—"
I chuckled, eating a fry she threw at me. He was most likely exaggerating. I wasn't there when it happened.
London and Patience burst into laughter, probably getting a mental image of the incident that they both saw. Greg muttered under his breath, pointing at Patience, "So, I have full right to laugh at your clumsy ass." We continued our conversations, Patience and Greg arguing every now and then, laughing myself when Greg wondered out loud if Stacey was putting the moves on his girl.
"Just hope that Molly isn't secretly bisexual," London said, leaning back in his chair when he finished his food.
I shrugged, "But hey, Greg might like that idea. It might turn into a threesome type of thing."
For a minute there, it looked like Greg actually enjoyed that idea. London grinned, getting up with the rest of us to throw our garbage away. I took one last sip of my drink, glancing over to London and Patience, watching as he kissed her on her forehead. I looked away as Patience reached over for his hand. I tossed my drink away, turning to follow them and gasping in surprise when someone hugged me from behind. I turned around when the person pulled away, looking at my blonde girlfriend. I smiled slightly, looking behind her to a few of her girlfriends.
"What're you doing here?"
"Just stopping by to do some shopping," she said, "and lucky me, I run into you! You didn't tell me you were coming to the mall today," she added, looking at the three people I came with.
"Well, I just wanted to hang out with some of my friends too."
"Oh…" The three of them waved to her, Patience slipping her hand away from London's to approach my girlfriend, starting a short conversation with her. Patience was introduced to the other girls, waving to them, recognizing a few from school. Minutes passed, and we all decided to start walking around. Patience went ahead, and I looked next to me when I felt a hand slip in mine. I loosely curled my fingers around her hand.
She's a cute girl. She amuses me at times. She can be fun to be around, when she isn't acting clingy and jealous.
But she's no Patience.
I tuned her out when she started to talk nonsense about some reality show involved rich people having their lives documented, my eyes resting on Patience, her finger pointing to a store that she wanted to check out.
For as long as I can, I'll just keep these damn feelings to myself. I won't tell her or anyone how I feel about her, and in time, these feelings will hopefully fade away.
My eyes drifted to London. I can't say that if he ever did end up hurting her, I'd go after him. I'm not much of a fighter, but he better be good to her.
Her happiness means more to me than anything.
- - - - -
My first attempt at a one-shot! I found it easy, kinda. I think it's a good length. Hopefully I channeled the correct feelings and thoughts towards a one-sided love. It was a little sad, but situations happen like this in real life, and that's what I wanted for the ending/spin off of Sweet Music. Though it ended happily, not every character can find peace and have the happy ending that Patience and London found. There's nothing much to say except sorry for any grammar mistakes found in this, thanks to those that choose to review, and as always, reviews are appreciated.
Lyrics : Michael Buble - How Can You Mend A Broken Heart