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Ok, so I didn't make it for nanowrimo, but I did get farther than I thought I would. About 30K. w00t!
Enjoy.
Chapter 3
Cooties
-Matches-
Danny comes to English class late.
Aiden and me are in the middle of acting out Star Wars scenes, using rolled pieces of paper as our light sabers, when he trudges into class fifteen minutes late. He blushes and apologizes to Mrs. Roe, who simply waves a playful finger at him and tells him to sit his ass down before she starts insulting him in Shakespearean.
Danny nods and takes the seat on the other side of Aiden. I give him a wink and a big smile before continuing my duel with Aiden.
Aiden is currently Yoda, I am Count Dooku and the scene we are acting is the end fight scene in Episode II: Attack of the Clones.
Danny raises an eyebrow, “You guys are freaks…”
While I simply salute him, Aiden leans over and kisses Danny right on the mouth. Aiden then smiles and makes his voice like Yoda’s, “Kissed you I have. Yoda cooties you have gained.”
Danny playfully shoves him away and smiles.
Damn, I wish I could be in Aiden’s place right now.
I want Danny cooties.
A man’s gotta eat, that’s all I have to say.
I’m one of the first in line and pile my plate with all kinds of crap I don’t really need but will eat anyway. The guys call me a vacuum, I call it being well rounded.
When I get back to our little corner of the lunchroom, Caillou is already sitting there with his usual brown paper bag. He doesn’t like the school food so he brings his own. I look down at my plate of greasy pizza, watery looking spaghetti, stale bread and Doritos. It seems just fine to me so I don’t know what he complains about. Aiden’s probably still in line getting food, I think I can see his shaggy russet fro over all the other people. Standing next to him is Xander, the goth’s eyes staring resolutely at his feet.
The jocks normally have a spot for me open at their table, since I am on the football and soccer teams - I’m quite good I might add – but I like sitting here with the rejects. Even though some of my teammates are pretty cool people, it’s better than sitting with a bunch of air headed testosterone. Plus they aren’t comfortable with my open sexuality. Whenever I sit with them, it’s kind of awkward whenever someone makes a gay joke or takes to me about girls.
At least some of them aren’t bothered by me or else I’d forget about sports altogether.
I suddenly hear a loud obnoxious voice and turn to see Queen, surprise surprise, and Danny walking up to our table.
“Just two bucks, Danny,” Queen whines in his oh-my-god-I’m-so-fagalicious voice.
“But this is all I have for the rest of the week.” Danny answers, much most subdued.
Queen reaches over and snatches one of the bills from his hand, “One dollar then.” He grins, turns on his heels, and marches away, flip flops clapping and ass swaying.
I just have to smile. Queen’s crazy like me and we crazies just have to admire each other’s genius. To bad Queen has this major fuck off attitude.
And he always uses Danny as his personal foot stool.
That, I don’t admire.
I bet Caillou is just as comfy and he squeaks when you poke him. Haha, Caillou the squeaky toy.
I reach over and jab the little blonde one in the ribs.
Squeak!
I love being random, but sometimes predictability isn’t that bad either.
Poke.
Squeak! “Stop it!” Caillou roars, batting my hand away. He doesn’t like it when I poke him.
Damn. I need to find someone else to annoy. I turn to my other side and poke the person who just sat down next to me. It just happens to be Xander, who simply raises an eyebrow at me.
Ok, maybe not.
“OH FUCK OF YOUNG!” A familiar voice over the rest of the lunch room, getting everyone’s attention, including our table.
Looking near the doorway, near the vending machines, I can just make out Queen, who’s looking totally pissed, and another person dressed in pristinely ironed slacks and a button up shirt.
“You’re the one who started it!!” The other yells back at Queen. I recognize him to be Jeremy Young.
Ok, little background info: Jeremy Young is the school’s resident conservative homophobic Republican Christian. Queen is the school’s resident gay, Atheist anarchist slut.
Putting them together is like mixing fire and gasoline, Queen being the fire and Jeremy the gas that makes the foul tempered cross dresser explode.
Ohh, explosions. Fire, I want some. I wonder how well my watery spaghetti will burn.
Anyways, get ready for a big boom.
“Oh shit,” Danny moans, also catching sight of the two by the cafeteria door. He suddenly nudges me in the arm. “Go get Queen, he doesn’t need to get suspended on the first day like last year.”
“He got suspended on the first day?” I ask. My memory’s horrible, so fucking sue me.
“Yeah,” Aiden said, leaning forward with a smile on his face, “Remember, Jeremy asked him if he really was a guy after all so Queen whipped it out in the middle of class.”
I laugh loudly, banging an open hand on the table. Sounds like something I’d do. But then again, I prance butt ass naked around the locker room showers everyday and I’m surrounded by hot guys scrubbing themselves down with soapy suds.
Sorry, Queen, I win.
“Um, helLOOOO!!” Danny interrupts, “Can someone go stop him before he does something just as stupid. Like, NOW!”
“Ok, ok, I’m going.” I say, waving one hand. I can still hear both of them screeching at each other. I better hurry up or their going to get into another fist fight. Queen always wins, which I think is absolutely hilarious. Not even the jocks will mess with him, but Jeremy just can’t let shit go.
I walk up to them, careful to steer clear of Queen’s front because he just might turn on me if I provoke him. I manage to get there just in time, as Queen raises one fist to knock Jeremy on his ass. Grabbing both his arms from behind, I stall him from giving the other boy a face job.
Queen hisses and starts struggling against me. He’s a lot stronger than he looks. I work our seven days a week and still have trouble getting a good hold on his stick arms.
“Let me go,” He commands, but I just start dragging him backwards towards our table. “Matches, I’ll fucking twist your nuts off if you don’t let me go.”
“Sorry, I got Danny orders.” I smile at him, “You gotta sit your pretty ass down and be good.”
I push him down onto the bench between Aiden and Danny and then sit back down in my seat across from them. Queen looks over his shoulder at his rival, who is glaring daggers at the drag queen, and flips him off. Jeremy returns the gesture, which is very un-Christian I’m told, but apparently Queen is a special case for the little bible thumper.
Queen turns his sharp gaze on Danny, “Why’d you make Matches stop me? I’m just dieing to fuck Young’s face up a little bit more.”
“Because,” Danny says calmly, “You don’t need to be suspended – again – for a jerk like Jeremy.
“Earth to Danny,” Queen growls, “When have I ever given a fuck, especially when it comes to fucking Jeremy Young?”
Danny shrugs and picks up his bag of BBQ chips.
“You just want to get in trouble, don’t you?” Caillou pipes in, “First Mrs. Tatum and now Jeremy.”
“Shut the fuck up, Caillou,” Queen turns his sour attitude on the poor boy, who visibly shrinks in his chair.
“Don’t be mean to him,” Aiden warns, giving Queen a critical glance. The blue haired boy simply gives a frustrated cry and throws his hands up.
“Nobody loves me,” He says and then flops sideways to practically lie on top of Danny. The brunette boy lets Queen settle his head in his lap and then continues eating.
Sometimes, Danny is just too nice.
He’s not a fucking pillow cushion!
My spaghetti goes uneaten.
“Yeah, I’m tired of the same old shit.” Queen agrees with me. “We should do something.”
I nod my head. Every year is so boring and they all just blend together into an uneventful blob of nothingness. We do the same stuff all the time.
“Like what?” Caillou asks.
“Like sticking your head down the toilet.” Queen growls back with a cruel grin.
Caillou’s eyes widen considerably, so I throw a comforting arm over his shoulder.
“Don’t worry, we’d never do that to you.” Caillou smiles up at me, relief evident in those baby blues. I just have to ruin it, “Unless Queen took a piss first.”
Caillou pulls away from me and goes to hide near Danny, “You guys are so evil.”
Queen snorts. “Still, we do need to do something.”
“Come over to my house tomorrow afternoon. We can come up with something then.” Aiden says, fishing his keys from his pocket. Aiden’s house is like the ultimate hang out and his parents totally rock. I’m in.
“Awesomeness.” I say, doing a little leap into the air.
“Sure.” Queen says, shrugging.
“What about Xander?” Danny asks.
“We’ll tell him tomorrow.”
“Ok.”
I wave over my shoulder and leave the group to head over to my baby, all bright yellow sleek and fast. The inside’s all black leather. My corvette’s so sexy.
I get behind the wheel and turn the key so she comes to life with a purr.
Flipping on my sunglasses, I crank up my stereo to max volume and zoom out the parking lot as fast as I can.
I walk into the living room to find my dad sitting in his Lay-Z boy recliner, staring at the screen blankly.
My shoulders sag.
I know exactly what’s happened.
Mom’s left.
Again.
She’ll be back again in a week or two after her and dad kiss and make up.
My parents love each other; they just can’t live with each other all the time. This has been a normal routine for the past five years. It gets on my nerves more than anything. Sometimes, I think they should just do everybody a favor and split up.
Permanently.
“Hey dad.” I say, flopping down on the couch. He’s silently watching a rerun football game.
“You know,” He says quietly, “I almost made it into the NFL. I ever tell you that.”
“All the time,” I say, also staring at the screen. One of the teams, I think it’s the Cowboys, score a touchdown. Stupid Texans.
Suddenly I want that damn watery spaghetti.
And Danny cooties.
Review please.
much luv
delay
