Nightmare or Memory, a Life fanfic

You said you would know

You said you were watching

On the look out for anything

Any sign, that something

Had happened to one of us.

But yet you said you knew

That he would love you forever

And he left you last year

Like you were nothing.

Were you on the look out then?

You refuse to believe

Refuse to accept what happened

For the simple reason that you’re blind

What other option is there

Besides that I’m lying?

But I’m not lying to you, not this time

Because I can remember it all now

Their hands, so insistent and rough

Their breath, so hot and fetid

Their taste, that sick flavour of evil.

But you say it’s impossible

That they’re just nightmares

Just the stress finally catching up with me,

Or too active of an imagination.

But I imagine dragons not this.

I don’t imagine rape

I don’t imagine never-ending nights

Of fear and pain and hideous visions

But yet you won’t see

You push it away.

So it’s no wonder you can’t hear

No wonder you can’t see

My agonizing scream, echoing

Through the intervening years

And the soul-deep scars

That fester like evil without redemption.

So, this is just something that's been swirling around in my head for a few months. There are gaping holes in my memory, basically I remember nothing from age 9 to age 12 when my father and my biological mother were getting divorced. Well, at least there used to be gaping holes. I definitely liked it better that way.

Anyway, no one wants to believe that what I'm remembering really happened, especially the woman I consider my mom, my father's second ex-wife. They all say that it couldn't possibly have happened, that they were looking too closely to have missed something like that, so it has to just be nightmares brought on by the weird movies I watch and books that I read.

I disagree.