A short story... AUTHOR'S NOTIE:

Total bullshit by me. I thought was interesting. No real things in here, possibly. ... Oum, don't look for typos, there in there and I'm not making corrections, okidoki:3

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A short story...

So after grabbing Nero and screaming "I love you", and a return of the "I love you too," a squid popped out of his microphone and began to sing Satanic Hymns. Nero found this a great oportunity to kill and eat the squid, and then kick the remains off stage. Six people jumped for the partially eaten sea creature!

They played several songs, NONE OF WHICH WERE "CLINIK".

After the show, Sevin came out. I molested him, and some raver girls came about. We all started talking, about nothing, nothing much, got autographs and kisses when suddenly! a creepy fat, drunken looking man walked into our "group" and asked in a mysteriously creepy tone "Are any of you Satanists?"

So I took a step back and rose my hand, "Om, I am?" I was pretty sure I was/am, but this type of thing doesn’t happen often. ...

examPLE:

"R U SATANIST?"

THAT.

So the man began to rant about moshing chicks and Satan and hardcore nonsense when he irrupted in a blaze of stale-beer-smelling fire. A reindeer with pink bunny cosplay horn/ears passed by and stomped the fire out, completely flattening the man out. Once again, this mythical creature saves the day!

And then a nasty redneck came along and short the deer, saying something like "Come on, Wifey. I need pancakes." and dragged the little critter off into the exit, blood pouring from the animal in a trail.

Moving along, this is when JOSEF came out. Little did I remember I took a picture or two of him before the show because he looked so adorable in glasses, too. So, for my comfort, he pulled out his glasses from my head and put them on.

Because the raver girls apparently found me creepy, and repeatively mentioned this aloud, I decided it was best to move on, give Sevin a last hug/kiss and molest the living daylight out of Josef.

As the molesting proceeded, a peice of the partially eaten squid from the mic was tossed in my direction, luckily, the blasted blasphemy of the song "Soulja Boy" jammed through the oversized speakers and headed into another direction. Rap saves the day!! For once! Oh, indignity, oh irony!!

Three fourths of a chiken bone poked out of the group in the hands of ... well, hands. Hands poking out of the ground holding chicken bones. I felt jealous then ... those hands had really well peticured nails.

One of the hands waved and signed "Got our nails did last Sunday".

The hands moved back into the ground, and returned with a parcel from France. The moved along in their little tribe, to the bar and ordered water.

Little did the hands know ... they had no mouths.

I was wrong on that, actually, their mouths were on their wrists, and so I wondered why I didn’t think of that earlier.

"IT R TIME 2 GOOO, HOOOO!" The Kyou Monster yelled my son, aka.

"NAOOOOOO", he repeated.

"NOOOOOO," I argued. "FI’E MO’ MINUTEZ?"

"Fine."

And so we stayed ... for like, an extra ten minutes.

"You have cute lips. I r 2 bite j00," said Josef, interrupting the hands drinking.

"FUCK YOU WITH SOMETHING HARD AND SAND PAPER-Y," I thoughtfully recited.

"RLY...?" he asked.

"Ya." I nodded.

He pointed to his cheek, awe, he wanted a kiss Flattery gets people places. In this case, my lips to his cheek. I would have ... could have chomped his delightful head off, but I felt that if he lived, I’d just get to gnaw on it for a while.

Jesus came down from one of the room’s disco balls, turned into a glowstick and stuck himself in one of the raver girls’ back-packs. "Jesus-Twin Power, Activate! Form of! ... This raver girl’s tampon!!" How sneeky this guy was...

No one saw that.

My noodley limb around Josef felt like arms. Seeing as I am a noodle, I thought of melting, but that would’ve been inappropriate for the situation. Rude, if you will. Didn’t wanna get his clothes smelling like Cup-Oreo-Noodle.

His arm around my waist was like my English self thinking "Bleeding hell, you’re fat." but I really just thought "THIS’LLNEVERHAPPENAGAIN, and shut up, you fat bitch." Yes, I called my English counterpart a fat bitch even though she obviously wasn’t/isn’t.

Minutes later.

"WE MUST LEEEEEAVE."

"Caila, take my hand! The antagonizing angst and agony and infected amputation I metaphorically feel are cramping my style!!" I cried out. "Don’t leave me, my prince!" The last part I was talking to Josef.

"Oh, I can, and will! I tour, because we’re Psyclon Nine and other hot chicks will eventually hit on me and you, you my dear I’ll leave in the dust. But here," he said handing me a new history book on the French revolution - and inside, there was a miniature AK-47.

I hugged him again, tighter. "Does it work?" I asked having a little expectation.

He nodded.

Caila pulled at my hair, "Kittie, lassie, we must be leavin’!"

"HOLD THE FUCK ON, WOMAN," I leered and kissed her on her dainty head. We all sat down in the little rotating chairs.

"Please keep your hands and feet outside the coaster. They will be chopped off!" An announcer yelled.

"KITTIE, HURRY THE FUCK UP. AND LET’S G.T.F.O.! I HAVE WORK AT THE DISNEY PLACE!" The Kyou Monster hissed, flailing his tail and sharp arms, jabbing people behind him, and gripping the handle bars.

In the amazing sense, the squid, still from before hopped onto the back, being ravished with attention by the six fans. Mr. Zombie-Squid.

"Oh, Mr. Squidipuss, I’d no idea you liked that," they caressed the awkward little sea-creature.

I pointed the little AK-47 toward the closet TV station I could think of. Systematically, sporatically, and percentage wise, I had a 100 chance of not missing. Chuck Norris doesn’t have a damn thing on me! Not even dust. I’m just that fresh, batch!Blut! Sex! FIRE!!

... The little thing launched, bits of aborted babies and crusifixes flying out of the the hole, peircing the wall when...

"MYLEG!" someone cried from the distance.

And another "SHIT, THE MTV AND MTV2 STATIONS, IT HATH BLOWED UP!" And you knew you’d accomplished something wonderful when someone spoke so mournfully of their favorite stations. "MY INFOMERCIALS, BRAINWASHING, I’M GOING TO DIIEEEE A NONCONFORMIST! sob"

And off into the night, Kyou Monster drove us home after the roller-coaster of molesty fun endded. We said our au revoir’s, and stalk-ya-later’s knowing that that was possibly the best place to meet band members.

We passed a cow the color of magenta and burgundy on our way home in the car. Kyou, the not-so-Monster and I sang folk-songs by De’spairsRay and Kelly. Were it not for the roof of his car, we just might’ve done the Calipso.

The End.

Shake yo’ ass, but watch yo’self,

show me wut ur working with, AHO!

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For once! Oh, indignity, oh irony!!