"I Don't Want to Be That Guy"

I don't want to be that guy
That guy no one talks about
That guy everybody loves
The nice guy
Concise guy
Drop me a line and I'll listen to two pennies or a dime guy
Won't trick, con, bamboozle, or in any way falsely entice guy
That guy
He's not particularly funny
He's not particularly bright
He's got no particularly interesting way of seeing things
He's got no particularly amusing way of saying things
He's not a particularly peculiar person at all
He's a bipartisan bi-leaning suck up
But he doesn't realize he's just a generic fuck up
He's the guy that goes to parties, but barely parties
He gets drunk, but not too drunk
He has fun, but not too much
He lives life, but only as much as necessary to work hard,
But only hard enough
To be organized,
But only structured enough
To get what he wants,
But not actually get it
That guy drifts through life defining himself by his social situation
His current occupation
His church denomination
His worth hinges on how others perceive his success
When he's with the guys he likes breasts
When he's with the girls he likes guys
He's the doesn't-really-leave-you-breathless, roller coaster ride
He's the doesn't-quite-entice-your-senses piece of cherry pie
He's the bum that's clean enough to not feel guilty when you pass him by
Without leaving fifty or even just twenty five
He lacks direction
He lacks contention
He lacks obsession
He lacks dimension
He lacks devoted lackeys and devote-inspiring masters,
Significant friends and significant others
His lacking even lacks conviction
He wants, but he lacks the means to express through proper diction
He's depressed but can only manage stuttering and hems and haws and ers and ums and uhs
And in the end what people recommend is that he devotes himself back to the cross
Or some other meaningless filler
When it passes he grins and says, "dang, that was... uh... um... hmm... er... killer?"
So I don't want to be that guy
Pleasing everyone else for pleasings' sake
But not pleasing himself for goodness' sake
Or because his sake is that of an aesthetic
I don't want to be that guy who's not a person
Just pathetic