Vampire’s Lullaby

What did I ever see in you?

You who cannot face me

When contact is not

At your own initiation

Why did I dive in blindly,

When there was always someone else

Lingering at the back of my mind

A lost hope, a missed chance

There was always so much I never told you

Because I knew I couldn’t

You always thought you deserved

Whatever you wanted

How does what one wants more than anything else,

Security, safety, love,

Become my downfall?

How did ice melt a heart of stone?

I can survive without

Whispered promises,

And careful toe steps

Around what you do not understand

Once a bookworm,

Always a bookworm

Not the jock’s girlfriend

Who forgoes her studies

I dance for comfort,

To allow myself freedom

Not to silently boast talents

That are wanting

I was nothing before I met you

And you made me even more

Living in your shadow

Never thinking for myself

You ruled me,

Mind, body and soul,

I could never move

Without your approval

My life became a storybook of horrors

And I was the only witness

The only one aware

My smiles frequent and strained

Fall for another in the dead of night

He knew where I was

Where I had been

Because he was there too