A/N: This was a narrative for class about anything we wanted to write about. I chose an event during my Sophomore year in high school.

Christmas Time Gags

The winter air was crisp as I walked down the surprisingly empty sidewalk on Pulaski. There were cars zooming by as usual, with their roaring engines and screeching tires. I wandered my way over to the Jewel Osco, clutching my black sweater closer to my slightly shivering body. The warm air that filled the store hit me suddenly and my body automatically adjusted to the warmth. I stopped clutching my arms and grabbed a blue plastic shopping basket near the entrance and made my way aisle by aisle. I looked up and down the packed shelves and airily let them pass me by. I made my way over the refrigerator items and finally found my long-awaited prize…bacon.

I quickly glanced through all the different brands Jewel had to offer and picked up the cheapest one; after all, it was only going to be a gift. I then paid and exited the store quickly, hoping to make it home so I could wrap the gift soon.

The next day I met up with my friend Joann by the tall, blue lockers before classes started for the day. We were looking forward to lunch, which was 7th period, and giggled over our own individually wrapped gifts. Joann told me that she had been unable to go to the store to buy the second half of our gift, which was cheese, but managed to find some in her home, and wrapped it up elegantly with ribbon and even topped with a bow.

I went through my classes mechanically, taking notes and listening only when it seemed apparent that I wasn’t concentrating. Spanish class, the period I had before lunch, was nothing but a party. Everyone had to bring a gift to be wrapped up then we would all play a game and eventually everyone would win a gift from the pile at the end of the room. I had previously bought a pack of bright pink lady razors as a gag gift, but when the person who picked it as her prize and unwrapped the Christmas paper, she gasped with joy and her face glowed as she announced that she had been meaning to buy some razors for a while, but hadn’t had the chance. Everyone laughed, including me, as we continued on with the prize winning.

By the time I finally managed to snag a win there were few prizes left. I chose a blue tin can that contained the game ‘Pick-up Sticks’ and happily bounced away with my prize. Everyone chattered and ate as we enjoyed the last day before winter break. The bell rang soon and the fated 7th period was about to begin.

Joann and I rendezvoused over by my locker and looked at each other in anticipation. We began to second-guess our whole plan, but ultimately we convinced ourselves that it would soon become an event to remember. We made our way over to the lunch line for the last time for two weeks and gathered the surprisingly edible food on our tray. We hid the Christmassy-wrapped gifts in our own backpacks respectfully. We sat with all my friends as usual (AJ, Jorge, David, and Parker); Joann and I being the only girls at the table.

We all ate our lunch happily, chatting and joking away the lunch period when both Joann and I turned to look at one another. I could tell by the look in her eyes that I had the same nervous look splashed across my face. I could tell that she was also second-guessing herself if this gift giving was such a great idea anymore. I also became nervous; who would want to be made a fool in front of a whole bunch of their friends, especially those who would tease you relentlessly for the rest of your high school career?

We had taken the gifts out of our backpacks earlier and they were resting nicely, albeit cold, on our laps. Joann’s gift was shaped more like a block where as mine was of a more thinner, rectangular shape. We whispered to each other nervously, trying to figure if we should give the wonderful gag gifts away. I, being one unable to back down from such an easy challenge, proposed we go along with the plan as intended. That, and it would have been such a waste of 3 dollars.

We managed to stop whatever wacky conversation our neighbors had and announced that we wanted to give some of our friends some gifts. The whole table was filled with ‘Ooohs’ and ‘Aaahs’ as the seated boys already began to tease us. I could see that it had made Joann nervous as well, but one thing that Joann could never be faltered for is lack of bravery. I could see how she steeled herself against their teasing onslaught and I adapted a similar attitude. I was to give my gift to AJ while Joann was to give her gift to Jorge.

We shoved the packages, quite literally, into their hands and proclaimed a loud ‘Merry Christmas’. We turned to each other simultaneously and let out some sly grins and a light chuckle. The boys turned silent for a moment before tearing into the gifts like a sort of ravaged beasts. The only words after all the wrapping paper was removed that filtered into the air were a surprised:

Bacon?

Cheese?

Until loud, raucous laughter erupted around us. Joann and I had held our breaths awaiting the reaction; whether the gag gifts were to be a success or not, and it seemed from that happy chatter and endless noise that they were a big hit. Our nerves calmed considerably as we freely joined the laughs around us.

My friends were confused to say the least. Everyone sent us questioning glances, but Joann and I could not keep a straight face and continued to laugh hysterically at the whole thing. Once the table had calmed down there were questions abound.

The basic one being, ‘Why bacon and cheese?’. We both answered, saying that those were the two foods we found to be incredibly hilarious to give as gifts, and that we really just wanted to see the look on their faces. The laughed again along with us as the boys began doing weird things with their recently received gifts.

They twisted and smashed the hearty bacon meanwhile the cheese was prodded in all directions by sporks. The bacon package was then thrown every which way around the table so everyone could get a good feel of the pork meat. Once we regained our bearings and our out-right laughter was subsided I pulled out my earlier earned prize, my ‘pick-up sticks’.

For the rest of the lunch period we continued to play a fierce game of the multi-colored sticks, the bacon and cheese put off to the side, ignored for the moment, but certainly not forgotten.