And He’s driving the rhythm

c-c-c-calculating

And I’m pinned like a gasp

to dry lungs

And it’s not so much

(you know that word don’t make me say it)

it’s just,

a fault,

a miscommunication,

love minus feeling.

But fear is greater than me.

(i am swallowed)

I’m counting the cracks in the ceiling and the wrinkles in my spine and breathing through bites. Pain twitches in the veins. Screams caught in hair and gasps melting in the windpipe. The movement is obtuse and He forces the sharp tangent on my perimeter, scratching scratching. Escape is impossible all the locks are jammed (every lock every lock the wrong key). I’m inhaling panic I’m exhaling (am i?)

I never noticed before the picture of Him on the wall. Half His age at least. Eyes trapped on canvas (i’m trapped on bed sheets) unblinking innocent sorry. Well immaturity has festered on His tongue and the e y e s soured like milk. I’m being watched from two angles (as mine are split into obscurity). The crooked lines of childhood shatter.

Later you would ask why did I not just

(cancel cancel cancel)

well you see the sums are harder than they seem.

We’re all tied up in knots of numbers

/divisions/

(infinity.)

And he was scribbling algebraic conclusions over love letters.

And he was mapping graphs from lustful whispers.

And he was cracking a code (breaking a heart they call it).

You ask me why I let it happen and I (He) say because because because

Well darling it’s purely

.mathematical.

And after all it only happened

ON/CE.