Sometimes I wish that...

I was better looking,

so I would'nt let you down so much when you see me.

Then you would'nt take it upon yourself to tell me how FAKE I am, and how UGLY I am.

And I'll try my best to make my wish come true.

But it's all the same.

When I get that way, you'd easily find some other fault with me.

Make me feel insecure. I lap it up. It rips me apart. It'll rip me apart.

When I DO become a dream, I won't seem real anymore, and be EVEN more fake, now would'nt I?

psh. Petty human emotions.

I'm not worth my own time.

My biggest downfall is I think too much. But not enough obviously, to get out of these ditches in the filthy crevasses of my mind.

Crevasse. That brings back memories.

I remember Desstine.

It's a name, so don't think too much of it.

I'm already too far gone.

I DISGUST myself sometimes. I'll shut down pretty soon.

It's either shut down or break down.

I can't take the latter anymore. I wear myself out and drown in sickness.