"In awe of your flawless physiognomy, I stagger into the darkness, for the sun, moon and stars bow away in shame, ashamed of me, of my existance. Ashamed of how I love you, how in my eyes, you could never do wrong... and how you never have. Ashamed of how I think of you when I'm with others, and how I lie to myself about things you've done. I take all the blame, as if blame was the cake awarded to one who had outdone another. Well I have outdone many... I am pathetic. Those nights with him, his voice sotto voce, his attitude impressive - a bon vivant. Anyone would be happy to have him, yet I longed for you. Your cold touches, your words with the acidic undertone. When he held me, I wished for your arms rather than his. Nights when bodies should have been engaged in passion, mine had been engaged in tortured memories, and once more, my life was blackened... For the sun, the moon and stars, looked away from the sight. Even those precious things I held dear before now hold nothing so close as how I hold you in my heart. I loved you before, and though I had been rejected, nothing scars as much as how I still love you. For every time I think of you, another scar has been carved onto my fragile heart. I will always reject him. I will always long for you. I will always remember you. I will always remember everything. All the things you told me... how you promised you'd never leave me, how you'd always be there for me, how you worried of me when we hadn't talked in a while... and how you lied. How you lied all those times you said you'd never leave me, you'd always be there for me, and how you worried for me. I wish you'd shine a light my way, for this darkness is scary, the darkness of my heart, my life, my existance. The sun, moon and stars... I don't blame them, for they are pure things and don't need the taint of my life to ruin them. Yet not even you shine a light on me, and you're tainted... you've tainted me... or maybe I've tainted you. I am ashamed of myself! I am hurt, and I still long for you, care for you, wonder if you're okay. I'm still here, I'm still here for you, like I always said I would be. I've kept my end of the bargain, why won't you keep yours? Lean on me, my love. Lean on me like you used to... I long to feel that pain, to etch another scar onto my heart. I love you..." she said before she died.