"I Am Not Feeling Alright"

I go out at 5 P.M.
And I'm not feeling alright
Don't recall what I did last night
Think I got into a fight

Got a blackeye and a scar
Think someone beat my head over and over with the door of a car
Think my skin absorbed some tar

I fell down and got back up
The correction was nauseating
Talk about a loss of spacing
So evasive, it was raping

"Hey man!" Dan said at his door
I said, "Where you been?" He said, "Been to the store"

He pulled out a bag right then
Popped a pill, maybe Vicodin
"Why don't you chill over here?"
Then he tossed me a light beer

We're living life as middle class drop-outs
Flick the blade and stick it copped out
Trip and flip and sip and tip and dip and rip so I'm so fucking torn

Teenage years wasted away
Tears for fears and burn my hay
I am not feeling alright
Won't someone turn out my lights?

His ma-ma she came outside
Said "You guys already drunk?"
I picked my words carefully
"That's an ugly word 'already'"

Dan said, "Yeah mom, we just started"
Rolled her eyes and started lecturing
"Just cause you got a GED,
Think you know everything."

Fucking boring all the time
Crickets chirp, roaches die
On my kitchen floor I fry
Nudie posters on my walls
Man my room is such a sty
I always complain, always cry
I'm a loser, smoking pot
When I'm not I still seem high
And my banks on low supply
Cause I'm always craving Thai
When I'm on just sit around and sigh
When I'm asked I will deny

Teenage years wasted away
Tears for fears and burn my hay
I am not feeling alright
Won't someone turn out my lights?

Why don't you apply yourself?
My mom asked me when I was child
Don't wanna be stuck on the shelf
So I choose to go wild

She always called me a loser then
Smacked me with a belt as I covered my head
Said if I fucked up she would beat me dead
Or at least make me shit until I cry and beg

My mom skipped town when I was eight
Left my sister, dad and me
Dad said it wasn't all that bad
As she was always on her rag

But my dad was a junior class drop-out himself
Said he was smart just hated memorizing or asking for help
That and he did crack cocaine

I spit a loogie on the lot
Over there's a dealing spot
Wondering how and when I got
Mixed up in dealing not just pot
One day stealing, so distraught
I am poverty, yet I'm rich
Because really who is not?

Spread the wealth that's what they say
Selling that shit everyday
When did my loot leave me this way
Thought it would just let me stay
But it's taking me today
Please tell me I'm right to complain

Please reassure all of my deeds
I'd take forgiveness over weed
Cause it's my sickness, my need
I am the rebellion decreed
I am the horse's meager feed
I am the hoarse man yelling heeds
To an epiphany it leads
I am depressed, say I'm happy
Hey mind, do not contradict me

Teenage years wasted away
Tears for fears and burn my hay
I am not feeling alright
Won't someone turn out my lights?