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Note: So first we have some titles that were considered for this story, but these just didn’t make the cut. Then we have some “deleted scenes” that I wrote but did not include in the story itself. Just thought I would share with you! Enjoy!
Nobody Understands Pie
Relationships, Pie, and Other Things to Avoid
Complex Relationships and Pie
Complicated Relationships and Pie
Your Face, This Pie, and Other Disgusting Things (This was the one I almost went with... I don’t know why I didn’t... it still makes me laugh – oh yeah, maybe because it doesn’t actually fit the story; it’s still funny)
From Chapter 16: Marc (Scene: Marc just found Julia crying)
Steven just broke up with me,” she blurted. “I confronted him because I thought he was cheating on me with one of the cheerleaders.” Then she began sobbing quietly into her hands again. Steven? Oh, I think he was the guy she left Wes for, way back when.
What was I supposed to do now? If I were Wes, I probably would have started laughing and jeering about karma. But seeing as I was Marc and not Wes, I couldn’t bring myself to do that.
“Julia, I...” My voice trailed off. I what? Well, actually, I couldn’t actually think of anything to say. Fortunately, she had more to say than I did.
“But it gets worse!” she went on. And before I could even register the possibilities of what could be worse, she let out another sob, along with, “I just found out that I’m pregnant.”
And I just sat there with my mouth hanging open.
...Plot line discontinued because I thought it was too much. This story is already over-the-top. I didn’t need to over-do it any more than I already was.
With her body snuggled up nicely next to mine, I quickly forgot all about the terrible encounter with my father. But, as I have said before, when there is silence, girls like to fill that silence with speaking. For some reason, I didn’t mind it so much this time, if only Layne hadn’t chosen such an awkward topic for conversation.
“So what happened with you and your ex-girlfriend?” she asked. She sounded hesitant to bring it up, but I could tell that she’d been wanting to mention it.
I tensed up a little bit. “Why do you want to know that?”
“Just curious, I guess,” she replied. “You told me once that she broke up with you at The Pantry. I was just wondering what happened.”
Ultimate rule of being with a girl: don’t mention another girl! But here she was asking about the other girl? What was I supposed to do? Well, I answered her question, that’s what.
“Well, it’s a long story,” I began. “But basically, she cheated on me with this guy from Marc’s football team. Then she dumped me for him.”
Layne’s eyes were wide with an emotion I did not expect to see. Excitement. “That’s terrible!” she exclaimed with a wide smile on her face.
“Are you happy about it, or something?” I questioned.
Her smile widened. “No, of course not. But, well, my ex-boyfriend dumped me for another girl! I think they may have started dating before we even broke up!”
Okay, Layne was out of her mind. Her ex possibly cheated on her and then left her, and she was apparently thrilled to death about it? Was she drunk or something? “Um, why are you smiling about that?” I asked. I still didn’t get it. I was crushed by Julia’s infidelity, and here was Layne giddy with pleasure at her own experience.
“Because!” Layne interrupted herself to laugh out loud. “I found out later that the girl he left me for gave him herpes!” Layne almost slid off the hood of the car, thanks to her explosion of giggles.
I hadn’t expected that response at all. And for some reason, Layne’s laughing at someone else’s expense over a very serious matter just made me want to laugh as well. So I did. Layne was even cuter when she was evil.
...Excluded from the story for obvious reasons of inappropriate tackiness...
I’ve always been skinny, no matter how many greasy cheeseburgers I eat. I once tried to drink a whole gallon of milk in one sitting, just because I thought that mass quantities of the thick liquid would help me gain a few pounds. Yeah, it didn’t work like that. That was the most disgusting thing I have ever done, by the way. Excluding dating Julia, of course.
Because eating excess amounts of food never helped me gain weight, I decided to take a different route. How about, instead of trying to gain fat, I instead try to gain some muscle? Obviously. What was I even thinking before?
So I found myself at the campus gym one Saturday morning, when I thought that I had little chance of running into many people I knew. I didn’t want to embarrass myself in front of anyone important if they happened to see me – wimpy little Wes unable to even lift the bar of the weight machine thingy. What is that thing called anyway? Damn, I should have paid attention when Marc and Scottie talked about such things as lifting weights. Even better, I should have actually come with them to the gym when they invited me. But I didn’t. And now look where I am in life. An underweight weakling with a luscious girlfriend who probably thinks I’m a wimp.
Layne and I had a date planned for that evening, and I was hoping for a little bit of an improvement before she saw me again. Yes, I know, not likely to happen in such a short amount of time. Also, as I grunted and sweat all over the weights, I realized what a dumb idea it was to come to the gym on the same morning as our date. I could feel my underused muscles complaining, and I knew I would be sore beyond belief by the time our date rolled around. And then I probably wouldn’t be able to move. Or do other things, if you know what I mean.
Ugh. They should put warning signs on these machines that you shouldn’t try to lift something heavier than what you can handle. Oh wait, there’s a sign right there. Never mind.
I stood up from the machine, more exhausted than I had ever felt before in my life. I could have used a shower, but the thought of going into the locker room with a bunch of other men sort of grossed me out a little bit. Maybe I would just rush home really quick and take a shower there.
As I turned toward the door, I ran directly into another person. My first instinct was to grunt at them to watch where they were going, but I didn’t want to revert to the kind of person I had been before Layne had come along and pushed away most of my hatred toward the world. So instead, I gritted my teeth and said, “Excuse me.”
At the exact same time, the person who’d run into me also said, “Excuse me.” And I recognized that voice anywhere.
“Layne?” All emotions of frustration and rudeness immediately left me.
“Wes?” Layne looked terrified that she’d just run into me here. I probably looked the same to her. The whole point of my coming here at this time of day was so that no one I knew would see me. And I especially didn’t expect to see Layne here. She had never mentioned anything to me before about coming to the gym.
“What are you doing here?” we both said at the same time.
Layne smiled timidly. “Just getting some exercise,” she said, averting her eyes to the floor. “And you?”
I felt like a little kid who’d been caught doing something naughty. “Uh, yeah, the same.”
“I’ve never seen you here before. Do you come here a lot?” she asked. Her hair was pulled back away from her face, but a few strands had come loose from her ponytail and stuck to her forehead. Her face glistened a little bit with sweat from her workout, and her pale cheeks were rosier than usual. Call me gross or whatever, but she looked really pretty like that. Okay, I admit it! She always looked pretty! Even back when she had no eyeballs!
“No, not really,” I responded, even more embarrassed that she had not only caught me at the gym, but that she had caught me during my very first trip to the gym. “How long have you been coming here?”
A little bit of color came into Layne’s already slightly flushed face. “A few weeks, I guess,” she said.
“Oh.” Awkward moment. We just stood there, not sure what to say to each other next.
Layne spoke up. “Well, I was just leaving.”
“Oh, yeah, me too.” We turned together toward the door.
“So I’ll see you tonight?” she inquired as we stepped outside.
“Of course,” I said with a wide smile. “I’m picking you up at six, right?”
“Yep,” she answered with her own smile.
... Discontinued due to elevated levels of lameness (author’s opinion – that and I didn’t want one of Wes and Layne’s final moments together in the story to be awkward like that!)