Chapter Sixteen

Chapter Sixteen

I leaned down, kissing him gently. “Thank you,” I said again, pulling away, unsure of how he really felt about me after all this time.

I felt his fingers twine in my hair and he pulled my head back down. “Don’t leave me,” he whispered, raising himself up slightly and kissing me again. “Five years gave me a lot to think about. My mind was still slightly awake when I was asleep, and when I was conscious of my thoughts, they were always about you.” His words sent a shiver down my spine and I kissed him gratefully and almost wept with happiness and would have had I already not been crying. He gasped against my mouth, dropping his hand from my head and grabbing my arm instead. I couldn’t say this wasn’t the best moment of my life, better, even, than the first time we had been together. I had waited for so long for something like this to happen and I had been so afraid that he would reject me and tell me that I would be better off dead, but suddenly we were kissing. He had saved my life, and we were kissing.

I kissed him slowly, still unsure about how far he wanted this to go. I didn’t want to push him, not after all this time. I couldn’t ruin it with carelessness, so I contented myself with just kissing him. He moaned against my mouth, his fingers tightening on my arm as our tongues touched. I almost melted as I felt his lips move against mine, felt our tongues dance together. I embraced his bottom lip with both of mine, feeling the warmth of him, feeling his breath on me. It had been so long and I was so… happy. For once, for the first time in five years, I was truly happy.

Without thinking, I slipped my hand under his shirt like I had so many times with him before. I could feel his warm skin underneath my fingers, feel the way he quivered under my touch, feel his breathing. Suddenly remembering where we were and what I had just done, I pulled my hand back and pulled away from him.

“Don’t stop,” he whispered, his hand still on my arm that was supporting me over him. I bent down and kissed him again, slipping my hand back under his shirt. He gasped and leaned into my touch and my kiss, his fingers tightening on my arm once again. I caressed him gently, running my fingers along his side. He had told me it was okay, so I lost my reservations about whether or not he wanted it. I knew if I went to far or did something he didn’t like, he’d tell me to stop, and so I continued.

“You are so beautiful,” I whispered between kisses.

“Beautiful?” he asked breathily, struggling to breathe properly. I always enjoyed the effect I had on him.

“Beautiful,” I repeated, lowering my mouth over his again. “I have never seen anyone as beautiful as you.”

“Sei, stop talking,” Tau scolded, capturing me in another kiss. He moved one of his hands up to my shirt and started undoing the buttons.

“Here?” I asked incredulously.

“I don’t want to wait,” he responded, almost tearing the buttons off my shirt in his haste to get it off me. He shoved it off me, exposing my bare chest and my arms and all the cuts on them. He was careful not to touch the almost-healed and not-quite-healed wounds on both my arms and he sat up a bit, pushing me back into a sitting position. I reluctantly broke the kiss with him, but kept my hand under his shirt, still touching his side. He moved his mouth away from mine and began kissing behind my ear.

“Ah!” I gasped in pleasure. “You’ve never done that before.”

“Shh,” he whispered, and continued on with what he was doing. No one had ever kissed me there before, and, by the gods, it felt good. I almost felt him smile against my skin as he kissed me gently, obviously aware of how much I was enjoying it. His tongue darted out and caressed the back of my ear and an involuntary moan escaped my lips. “Gods,” I whispered.

He ghosted his fingers up my bare back, sending shivers coursing through me, and moved his mouth to my neck. He bit me, hard enough for it to hurt, but with just the right amount of pressure. I think I cried out then, I was pretty far gone in what we were doing I lost track of how much noise I was making. I just knew that I never wanted him to stop. I wanted him to keep touching me, always, and I never wanted to be away from him for five years again.

I grabbed his hips and pulled him onto my lap, wanting to be as close as I could to him, needing to feel him, to know that this time he was real and it wasn’t my delusional imagination making things up again. If this was a dream, it was the best damn dream I had ever had.

He shoved his hands between our bodies and grabbed me. I could have sworn I saw spots dance before my eyes.

“Where did you learn to do this?” I gasped. He had never been quite so aggressive with me before and he had usually let me do most of the work. It was surprising, but definitely in a good way.

“This could be our last time together. I have to make it count.”

My body went cold. “What?” I asked suddenly, pulling his mouth away from my neck and forcing him to look at me. “What do you mean, ‘this could be out last time together’? What the hell do you mean?”

“You know what I have to do, Sei. I could die trying to kill the king. It’s practically a suicide mission.”

“No, you’re not going to die! I’ll be there with you, I won’t let you die.”

He smiled at me sadly, running his fingers down my cheek. “I know. That’s what I’m afraid of.”

I pulled him into my arms, wrapping him in a tight hug, resting my forehead on his shoulder. “You’re not going to die, and I won’t die, either. Gods, Tau, you can’t come back to me only to go get yourself killed. It’s not fair.”

“I’m sorry,” he whispered into my neck and I felt tears fall from his eyes and run down my neck. He started shaking from the sobs escaping his body. “I’m just so scared, Sei. I never wanted to be king. I’m not fit to rule.”

“Don’t talk like that,” I reprimanded him. “I know you better than anyone else and if there was anyone meant to be a king, it was you. You can’t possibly do worse than our current king.”

His arms tightened around my back and I held him silently as he cried on my shoulder. Finally, his shoulders stopped shaking and I pulled away from him, keeping my hands on his waist, and looked at him. I smiled at him and brushed the tears from his cheeks. “I won’t let you die. I promise.” I kissed him gently, chastely. “And I won’t do anything stupid to get myself killed, either. You have my word.”

“I’ve never killed a king before. I don’t know how.”

“We’ll figure something out. In any case, you’re with me tonight.” I kissed him again. “We can think about killing the king tomorrow.”