an interpretation of a friend who needs an identity.

The following words interpret a boy I know, who doesn’t really know himself.

These words tell the story of this boy, who has gray-blue eyes and curly brown hair. He’s worn collared shirts and the same brown shoes for as long as I can remember; as long as anyone can remember.

This boy loves to laugh and hates to cry. When his head is on the table, he’s sad. No matter what he tells you, he’s not okay. This boy has lies just waiting on the tip of his tongue. He’s the master of diversion. The lies are in his words and in his face, because he doesn’t want you to worry.

When he’s happy, he laughs. When he’s sad, he smiles with his lips closed. He has so much to say, but he can’t say it to you.

This boy has too much on his mind. He’s thinking about why people hate him, and what he did wrong. He’s thinking about what could have been, and what will happen. He’s thinking about why he’s incompetent. He’s thinking the world would be better without him. He’s thinking no one loves him.

(He’s lying to himself now…)

This boy is thinking about a girl. A girl who made him want to drop everything just to be with her, and hold her forever. A girl who made him laugh even when the world seemed to hate him. But he held back. For her.

At least, that what he told himself. But he knew it was for himself. So that he wouldn’t lose what he had. What he loved so much. And maybe… just maybe… his heart would be satisfied.

Then one day, the boy decided to take a risk, and opened his frozen lips. When she broke his heart with a smile, he shattered it with his tears. He failed to realize that even heroes crashed and burned, no matter how courageous their moves were. He failed to realize that even heroes could cry.

This boy refuses to let it be anyone else’s fault. If it’s someone else’s fault, you can’t control it. And when you lose control, that’s when you lose everything.

This boy needs love. And I don’t know how to give him that anymore. I can only smile at him, the only way I know how. And feed him words that everything will be all right. And I still worry about this boy, as I try my hardest to teach him how to smile again.

He needs to learn how to smile again on his own. For real.