A Twisted Web of Words and Lies

My words fail me

And I have no way to release

All these emotions,

Building, churning, ready to explode

Music ceases to help

Remaining the melody to my despair

The soundtrack of my life

Winding down a road I swore not to venture

Thoughts of death

My own, my families’,

My closest friends

And the hurt returns

My candle is unlit

My hands on the keyboard

The needles in their box

And the night is quiet

All my words are gone

My defence has deserted me

Leaving me vulnerable and alone

To face this cruel world unaided

My only relief is the future

That golden light burning ahead

Reminding me that this

Is not forever

Colours whirl behind closed eyelids

A silent chaos, fighting for control

It can’t win

It cannot take hold

Look to the past

Numbness and horror

Block everything out

Don’t let the world in

And now my soul is stripped clean

Open to imprinting

But longing all the time

To return to the void

Patterns, numbers mould themselves

Into simple words

Should be longed for

Should be wanted

Start to shake

Disbelief

Why now?

Why too late?

I could have loved you

If you’d taken the chance

I never stopped

I never started

Cradling heads

Bowed in sorrow,

In anger, in remorse

Tears slip between the fingers

Dropping onto the word covered page

Smearing the ink

Freeing the prisoners from their confines

The end of thought

In the twilight of a dream

Soft feet tread damp grass

A pair of lovers

Seeking a chance at solitude

But solitude they will not find

For the dream must end

And we have to face tomorrow

For tomorrow holds our destiny