Snow White and Her Seven Brothers

Once Upon a time, in a land far, far away, there lived a beautiful princess. She loved to sing and frolic outside in the flowers all day. Unfortunately for our heroine, her evil brothers all made sure she had no part in social behavior. So, she grew up a lonely girl, who only had one loyal friend to her name. None of the princes would even glance her way…..and why? Because her brothers were idiots and she hated them. The End.

(Yeah…I know…it sucks.)

Yeah, that little story above….that’s my fairy-tale. Honestly, I sometimes do really hate my brothers.

I guess I could let you know a little bit about me before I start rambling on about how much I hate my brothers.

My name is Snow White.

No, I’m not that dainty little princess who ate an apple and went into some weirdo coma that could only be undone by her Prince Charming’s kiss. I’m the other Snow White…..the one whose parents thought it would be funny to name her after a fictional storybook character. That’s not where the coincidences end though…no, I couldn’t even be spared that. Because, what do you know….I grow up to be pale, and I mean PALE. I’m not albino or anything, but I never tan. It’s not that I haven’t tried….I have. All I get is burned and I don’t even get a good tan when it goes away….I stay the same. Pale and white. But that’s not where it ends. Oh no….see, I also have this really thick, black hair. My brothers, all are tan and have blonde hair. Yeah, that’s right….every single one of them. Oh and yeah….did I mention how many brothers I had?

Seven.

Mom and dad thought that part was hilarious. They always called my brothers my seven dwarfs….even though they were all always taller then me.

Don’t think I don’t love my brothers, I do. They’re great….most of the time. They’re very protective of me, which sometimes I love….and then sometimes I’m not loving it so much. When I want them to protect me from those creepy weirdo guys in the back alley of the movie theater….then I’m happy they are protective of me. When one of the hottest guys in the school try asking me to the Holiday Ball….I don’t care so much for their protection. Oh, yeah….that was in junior high….I never got invited to another Holiday Ball after that….any dance in fact.

I guess I can mention my brothers, I mean, they are all going to end up in this story anyway…I wouldn’t want you to be confused when they pop up.

First, there is “Doc”. Yeah, since we’re going with that whole Snow White theme….I might as well give you my nicknames for them. Doc…or Mark White, is the oldest of the White clan. Why is Mark called Doc you ask? Well….Mark is a Doctor. So, that one is explained pretty easily. Mark is probably the most responsible out of all of the White kids. He was always on the honor roll, always made the Dean’s list, and he pretty much is the youngest Doctor here in town. Well, in this bigish town we live in. (It’s no small town, that’s for sure.)

Mark is happily married to the coolest girl I know. Seriously, she’s awesome! I was so happy when she and Mark finally tied the knot. Her name is Rosie Burns-White (she wanted to keep her maiden name, while Mark wanted her to use our last name, so they compromised and used both), and she is like the sister I’ve never had.

She and Mark have their own apartment in town, but seem to always show up at our house. Just to say hello or whatever.

Next is “Dopey” or Michael “Mikey” White. Mikey is the goofball of the family, hence the “Dopey” part of his nickname. Mike is out of college, and still does not have a job. Well, that’s a lie, he does….just not one that goes along with the many years of college he went through. He works at Wal-Mart, in the Entertainment section. He has a degree in Psychology. Mikey is by no means dumb…he just doesn’t apply himself. I’m sure if one of those damn dwarfs would have been named “lazy”, it would have been his nickname. But no…so, he remains “Dopey”, because….he is.

Mikey is also one who dates around, so he doesn’t have a serious girlfriend that is like a sister to me. Mikey probably also has an STD….but, we won’t get into his sleeping habits.

Next is “Sleepy”, or Alexander “Alex” White. Why is he called “Sleepy”? Because the only time I see him, or hear that he is home, he’s sleeping. Not just at night (which, he sleeps then), but when he gets home from work (Alex just graduated from college, with a History degree and is teaching at the local middle school), he is either napping on the couch, or in his room sleeping. I think I see him up and awake only about two times a week. I know Middle schoolers can be rough to work with, but whatever…get over it.

I would like to say that Alex has a serious girlfriend we all just love, but only part of that would be true. See, he does have a serious girlfriend, but any of the family has yet to meet her. So, we’re wondering if Alex is maybe embarrassed of her or something.

Now we come to “Grumpy”. We like to cal him Brent White. Brent is…to simply put it….an ass. He is the least loving off all my seven brothers. It’s not that he isn’t protective like all of them, because he is. He just likes to be mean in a protective way. Like, if I’m wearing some clothes he doesn’t want me to wear (like maybe the occasional tank top I wear) he tells me I look like a hooker. I’m shy and self-conscious, so…what do you think I do? I change….and he knows I will if he tells me that. So, he’s protective in his assey way.

Brent is a bit like Mikey, only…he has a serious girlfriend. He just likes to cheat on her. (His assery ways) She is a pretty nice girl. I mean, I’ve met her only a couple of times, but every time she seemed nice to me. Probably too good for my brother. She needs to dump him. I would have a long time ago.

Before the last two is Luke White, or “Sneezy”. The reason? Luke always seems sick. Even if he really isn’t sick, he looks it. I don’t know why…maybe it’s just because he is a weakling and has a weak immune system. Luke is a junior in college. Yeah, my mom was pretty much pregnant for three years in a row. She had a few months of breaks. It was a good thing she was a stay at home mom until I got into high school because otherwise….her boss would have been pissed at all the maternity leave she would have had.

Next are the twins, and the two closest to my age. They are sophomores in college, while Brent is a senior. “Happy” and “Bashful” or, Chris White and Jordan White. Chris is “Happy” because, well….the kid is always happy. I’m not kidding you. His pet dog could have died, and in the next few minutes he would find some way to be happy again. When he broke his arm, he complained about the pain for five minutes, and then started laughing about it. Let’s just say Chris is one guy you don’t want to let get close to the laughing gas. He has enough in his brain. Jordan is just so shy! He’s my brother and I have a hard time to get him to talk to me! I guess the two of us are more alike then the others though. I mean, I know I’m shy. But with the seven brothers I’ve had, you learn to be a little shy.

Oh, and I have a few other very important people I have to mention. First, there is my best friend in the entire world, Isabella Smith. If I didn’t have Belle, I would have gone mad a long time ago. We met in kindergarten when she saved me from the evil bitch queen, Lauren Witchna. (Seriously, this girl is an evil Bitch….and her last name has witch in it….she is totally the supervillian of this story….well, at least my arch nemesis.) When Lauren tried to get Tommy Holden to put a worm in my hair (because it was prettier then hers….the whore) Belle saw what was going on, hit Tommy’s hand away from head, picked up the nasty worm and threw it in Lauren’s blonde locks.

We’ve been best friends ever since.

The other important person I have to tell you about, would be Tyler Brian. Tyler is like the eighth brother I desperately don’t need. He’s best friends with Brent, and has been since forever. Probably as long as what Belle and I had known each other. (I mean since like Kindergarten to now)

Tyler has always been just as protective as my brothers. Another thing I really don’t get, is how he and Brent became friends in the first place. I mean, Brent is “Grumpy”, Tyler is definitely not “Grumpy”…he’s more like, “Kill me Because I’m so Annoyingly Happy”.

He’s the complete opposite of my brother. He is nice, he doesn’t sleep around. I’ve only known him to have good, serious, stable relationships. He treats me better then half of my brothers do, and he never forgets my birthday. (Which….all of my brothers have done at some point of time. Brent mostly….every year.)

Anyway, that’s my family. At least most of them. Of course there’s the parentals, but they are so boring…nobody wants to hear about them.

Okay….so, I’m still a little bitter with my parents about the whole “Snow White” thing. I mean, seriously. The only thing that hasn’t worked out to go along with the story is having a Prince Charming. So, yeah….where’s he!?

Friggen Fairy-Tale Writing Liars….

AN:

Hello! This is my new story….Snow White and her Seven Brothers. I’m currently taking a break with writing “How to be a Rock Star”, don’t worry, I’m not done with it…actually, no where near. But, I just thought of this story and fell in love with writing it. Plus, I was having MAJOR writer’s block. (I mean...it’s been months since I updated…obviously I had a little writer’s block.)

So, this is the prologue….It wasn’t very long, but I’m going to try and make the chapters long. This was just to introduce you to the characters.

Oh, and I’m going to say a couple of things about the story here….just so if you have future questions, they will already be answered!

1.) All of the White kids (except for Mark) live in the White house and are in college.

(In the first chapter Snow will talk about starting her first day of college….yeah…I just wanted them all to be in the same house, I thought it would be more interesting this way…)

2.) Lauren (the evil witch whore Snow talks about in the beginning is going to the same college as Snow, Snow’s brothers, Tyler, and Belle….Yeah…they are all going to the same college too! It’s a local college…that’s cheap!!)

That’s all I can think of now….if you have any questions, feel free to ask! Oh, and please review! It makes my day when people review my story!!