|Let's All Commit Suicide!
Author: Qzie PM
There wouldn't be any wars if we did. [Heavy sarcasm]Rated: Fiction K+ - English - Parody - Words: 447 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 3 - Published: 11-27-07 - Status: Complete - id: 2443950
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
None of this is serious. It's sheer sarcasm- and it's an English assignment.
Let's All Commit Suicide!
It's funny how some people say that abortion is absolutely justifiable, but the war isn't. There's no hypocrisy lying here. Killing unborn kids is far different from killing people who are in disagreement with us. It's also funny how we're taught from birth that hurting people is wrong. And then when the kids grow up, we teach them how to use guns to not only defend themselves, but to inflict harm on other people. But that's not murder. That's population control.
The mantra of "everybody's equal" doesn't count. That's simply an idealistic thought to make kids play nice- it doesn't actually apply to the real world, because if everybody were equal, then why would we treat each other the way we do? Why would we send people over to other countries to kill them because of how they're different and don't like us? That doesn't make America a bully. It's just very sensitive and cries too easily.
And who cares about the death toll? They're just numbers; they don't actually mean anything. The stats don't mean one more person who was killed fighting for something that is definitely worth fighting for, and in turn, their families break apart. It just means one more pawn on the chessboard was swept off. And one single pawn doesn't matter; there are more than enough of them.
So how about we settle this once and for all? And by that, I mean we should commit a worldwide suicide. It would end all wars, famine, and crimes because there wouldn't be anybody to start wars or anybody to starve to death or anyone committing crimes. Besides, at the rate the world's going, everybody's doomed anyway, so let's cut to the final act.
Killing ourselves would solve even more problems than that. Global warming would no longer be an issue because there wouldn't be anybody to cause it; the same holds true for pollution. The stores wouldn't be crowded on Black Friday because there wouldn't be anyone in them. Nobody could ruin any touching moments because there would be no touching moments to ruin.
The war is at its climax, and people are getting angrier with it by the day. So why not solve our problems and kill ourselves? That's what it's leading to, anyways.
Again: sarcastic. I'm not actually suggesting we all kill ourselves. :)