Note:

This is just something short I’m gonna write between chapters of rush. I know its not all grammatically and contextually correct but hey, its more for fun than anything else.

Comments are much loved.

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I don’t like my new roommate. He’s one of those big, popular guys who beat kids like me up, and the worst thing is that I have to live with him. I have to somehow climb into my bed at night, knowing he is only three meters away on the other side of the room, and I have to trust that he won’t decide to play some horrible prank on me in my sleep.

Well, I haven’t actually slept in this room yet, I only just unpacked my things and put them away. He has been sitting on is own bed, cross legged with his back to the wall this entire time and I am too afraid to put my posters up.

I didn’t even like him seeing the shirts I wear outside of school. In the reflection of my mirror I could see his sneer, a look of near disgust on his face as I quickly put my clothes into the cupboard..

I feel like a mouse intruding on a lions den, and the lion only doesn’t eat me because….

There is nothing stopping him from eating me, and that’s why I am scared.

I’m a small guy, its not my fault. I guess if I improved my diet then maybe I could beef up a little, but there is nothing I can do about my height. Plus he is three years older than me. I wasn’t even supposed to be in a room with a 12th grader, but they ran out of space. This was the only place left for the poor little fourteen year old transfer student.

He hadn’t said one word to me, but his eyes constantly on my back made this nervous, nauseous feeling rise up in my gut, and I was beginning to find it a little difficult to breathe.

It smelt like him in here. Like Lynx deodorant, and sweat and maleness. It wasn’t a bad smell, or wouldn’t have been if I weren’t so absolutely terrified of him, but I found it sort of intoxicating. Which wasn’t a good idea, especially not here.

I wanted to open the window and let in some of the fresh spring night air from outside but I was too afraid to.

Call me a coward but there was something about this guy that makes me want to run away and hide. Maybe it is the fact that he is six foot tall, muscular, popular, handsome and the perfect specimen of a true red blooded male. He was everything that any girl would want in a man, everything a parent would want in a son and everything a teacher or coach would want in their student. He was also everything people like me are terrified of.

Like I said, I’m pretty small, people say I’m feminine, sorta. Most of the people I hang out with are girls, but worst of all, I don’t have any category to fit into.

I’m not a nerd. Actually Im pretty bad at school work, the only thing I do well in is probably art, but I’m not an artist. I’m not a muso, I could probably play the triangle or the Tamborine, but that’s about it. And I hate sport and will do my best to get out of P.E. I’m not a jock, I’m not a Goth, I’m not a skater, I’m not a surfer, I’m not a swimmer, I’m not metrosexual or whatever you call them, I’m not an emo and I’m not even normal.

I’m just that weird girly looking kid who sits next to this person or the other in so and so’s class.

Biting my lip I hesitated for a moment, trying to think of things to do that wouldn’t be dangerous, before deciding to sit down on my bed quietly.

I had just closed my cupboard door and turned around when my roommate stood, unfolding himself like cobra. He seemingly towered over me, not only a giant in height but in girth. In actuality I guess he simply has an athletic body, tightly muscle bound and wonderfully toned, but when compared to my 5’3, 46 kilo self he was a giant. In about four steps he had crossed our little room and was standing directly in front of me, really not two inches away. I couldn’t help but shrink back against the cupboards, but this only made him smile, flashing perfect white teeth like an alligator. Moving closer my roommate lifted his hand to place it palm flat on the cupboard door to my right, trapping me into a corner with only an inch of air separating my delicate little self from his testosterone charged body that could easily break all my bones. From this close I was unable to avoid the heat that seemed to roll off his body, the smell of total masculinity that made my head spin. Seeing as I couldn’t exactly drop my head to look at the floor without banging into his chest I simply looked to the side, trying to occupy myself with some other object in the room.

I cant say I wasn’t surprised when his fingers came up beneath my chin, forcefully tipping my head back till it hit the cupboard with a hollow bang. I had no choice but to look up at the smirk on his lips, at how his enviously crystal blue eyes laughed at me.

“So, this is the shrimp I’m sharing my room with. J heard about you but I didn’t expect this”

I was unable to answer, unable to breath and probably looked utterly terrified, my eyes wide as saucers, because it made him laugh, an annoyingly pleasant sound that sent tingles of fear down my spine.

He leaned down to get closer to my face, his breath smelling like mint as he spoke.

“I bet people tell you that you look like a girl huh?”

He paused here, his eyes flickering away from my face and down my body before he continued speaking, not actually wanting me to answer the question. “You smell like one too. I bet you’re a complete virgin. So innocent”

I didn’t quite understand why he was saying that, even if it was true. Girls said I was cute but that was about it, and sometimes weird old guys cracked onto me in the street, but I had never been kissed by anyone, never been touched. The person I got closest to was my bets friend, and that was just…well, friendly.

I felt totally helpless and pathetic, unable to do a thing when he stepped forward, flush up against me and dropped his hand from the cupboard wall to my waist.

I couldn’t understand this, didn’t know why my scary roommate was getting so close, why he was touching me. That smirk was still on his lips as he let his hand travel down my side, pushing the loose material of the shirt I wore right up against my skin so he could feel exactly how small I am. His hand stopped at the waistline of my jeans and he paused for a second to shift a little away from my body. I would have preferred him flush up against me though, instead of what he did next. Before I could mouth a word of protest his hand was over the front of my size six jeans, cupping the crotch and causing me to jump with shock, biting down on my lip.

He remained like that for a moment, his eyes on my face before he stepped backwards, laughing.

“Yep, defiantly a guy and defiantly a virgin”

I was left standing there, shaking as he went and sank down on his bed, hand behind his head and looking at the ceiling.

What the hell just happened? I couldn’t understand it.

Keeping as close to the cupboard as I could I slunk around to my bed, pushing myself into a corner and bringing my knees up to my chest. He was still looking at me, this mocking expression of both amusement and disdain on his face.

“Listen kid. This is my room. You gotta do what I say, when I say so, and if ya don’t I can get your scrawny little ass packed up and shipped outa here in a second….from what I hear your parents wont be too happy with that”

How did he know about that?

His statement made my blood run cold, an unpleasant prickling feeling crawling over my skin. How did he know about that? How did he know about why I was here and about my parents? I found myself quickly scrabbling for something to say, my voice a pathetic meep as I spoke. “How did you know about that?”

His smirk broadened and from his expression I knew that he knew he had me completely under his control, I would do what he said, because he scared the shit out of me.

“So you can actually speak?” he said, that cattish and triumphant smile still on his face. “What’s your name then?”

My head was spinning, not literally, but I was confused enough, scared and uncomfortable as I twisted my bed covers between my fingers. I didn’t want to tell him my name, hell, I couldn’t even remember it right now, but I found myself saying it anyway. “Nikkita”

It was hard to know if it was shame that was curling in my gut the way it was, shame over my name which, until now, I had always loved because it was part of my heritage. He made makes me feel like it is something to be ashamed of by the way his eyes laugh. Those perfectly blue crystal eyes that were so enviable. He was enviable.

“Ni-kki-ta” he said my name slowly, like he were rolling it around on his tongue and trying it out for size, before looking back to me.

“Like Nikkita Khrushchev, that Soviet bastard?”

I was surprised he knew who the Communist leader was. Somehow my new roommate didn’t come across as the academic type. Then again, Cold war History is 10th grade stuff.

“You could say so” I managed, forcing myself to try and relax. I know I cant let this guy get to me. I mean, what’s the worst he could do? Its not like he can murder me or anything. “What’s your name anyway?”

His eyes had been wandering away form my face, to where I don’t know, but as I spoke they sapped back up and I couldn’t help but drop my own gaze.

“Carson Lake. I’d say it’s nice to meet you, but the feelings wouldn’t be mutial”

Carson. A ‘full of yourself’ name, and though he couldn’t help what his parents called him, he has a very ‘full of yourself’ attitude. Besides that, he is better than me, and I know it.

I didn’t reply to him, didn’t say a word but just tried to sink further back into my bed, feeling his eyes on me and already knowing the smirk on his face.

Then, to my relief, the people that would in any normal situation beat my ass, saved it by yelling in the hallway “Oi! Caery! Get out here, Shenae’s downstairs and she wants to see you!”

It took a moment for me to realise that Caery must be Carson’s nickname I figured it out as my roommate stood, a scowl on his face as he pulled open the door to say “Thanks Mick, tell her I’ll be down in a minute”

From the corner of my eye I watched him move back towards his wardrobe and pull the shirt he was wearing over his head, throwing the garment onto his bed then replacing it over his broad shoulders with a clean white –and expensive looking- polo.

Who was Shenae anyway?

His girlfriend probably. I was relieved girls weren’t allowed up in the dorm rooms. In my old boarding school I had put up with my roommate fucking whatever had two legs and a pussy almost every night, Talk about Awkward.

Spraying himself quickly with some of that Lynx deodorant I had smelt earlier he turned to me, a cold expression on his face.

“Don’t touch my stuff okay Nancy.”

Then he was gone, and though I knew this I couldn’t relax. I felt like a rabbit in a foxes den. Me the defenceless little animal and him the predator. That presence he seems to have lingered in the room, jolting my conscience and making me nervous.

As quickly as I could I changed out of my clothes into slacks and a loose shirt, something I could sleep in, then quickly moved across to the window and yanked it open. .

I need to breathe fresh air, I have to clear my head and clear him out of my conscience. It is pretty outside the boarding house, starry and clear and clean. The air though is warmer than I like but I can’t stand to have the window closed right now.

The bed looks so inviting. Today has drained me physically and emotionally, what with my new school and moving in and new people and stuff, and its always a relief to fall onto a comfy bed

I think I was laying on my back, watching the ceiling but I’m not sure. One thing is for sure though, I must have drifted off into sleep because it was pitch black in the room when I woke. Some sound snapped me from a comfortable haze I had been floating in, the snap of the door as it closed perhaps, or footsteps.

I could see hardly anything, but almost instantly my heart began to race and a cold prickling crept down my right side. In the darkness I could just make his silhouette out against the murky colours of the room. I quickly shut my eyes again, remaining perfectly still and hoping he didn’t realise I was awake. It was hard though, hard not to simply spring up and make a dash fro the door, especially when I felt his knee press into my mattress, pushing it down slightly. Carson moved himself quickly onto my bed, much to my horror, one knee either side of my hips as he said softly “I know you’re awake”

I could hear the smirk in his voice, this laughter that sent a chill across my spine. Why was I so scared of this guy? Sure I had met others like him but there was something different here. An intelligence behind that malice and perfect façade that scared the living daylights out of me.

Before I could move –because my body had decided it would now- he had locked both my wrists within his hands, his weight pressing down on me and pinning me. I was surprised I hadn’t made a noise before now, but as it was this pathetic little ‘meep’ of protest squeezed itself out of my lungs, making him laugh.

Pulling both my hands above my head until they hit the bed board he held them in one of his own hands, locking his fingers tightly around my wrist. I was completely helpless now, laying above the covers, trapped beneath his bulky weight in the dark and without a soul to help me if…if what. What exactly was he planning on doing to me? Was this just a scare tactic or did he actually plan on torture or something?

I couldn’t help but flinch when his free hand came down to my waist, sliding over it to the hem of my shirt then twining his fingers into the material.

“You’re so, so tiny”

There was a note of wonder in his voice as he spoke, and for the first time I noticed a slight slur in his words. Now that I though about it, amongst the smell of Lynx and Carson, there was a tinge of alcohol. Was he drunk?

His hand released my shirt, instead pushing it up and pressing his palm flat against my stomach. It raised Goosebumps on my skin as his fingers traced with a surprising delicacy over my hip bone, around my belly button then up towards my chest. I couldn’t stand this. I wanted to cry but it felt like someone was chocking the sound inside my throat, and I wanted desperately to get away form him. He was laughing quietly, hardly having to move at all to keep me pinned down. so I didn’t even try. I gave up, squeezing my eyes closed. “Please leave me alone”

My voice sounded so soft in the room, like it was hardly penetrating the darkness.

It must have done something though, because he slipped his hand off my skin, to press it underneath my chin, holding my head still.

I didn’t want to look at him, didn’t want to breathe in his smell, and didn’t want him touching me like he was. I couldn’t even defend myself, couldn’t even speak.

He leaned forward then, pressing his cheek against mine and oddly his skin felt almost cool, soft and clean and smooth. I could feel his breath ghosting over my cheek and it made me seethe inwardly, but I was frozen now, stiff as a board and feeling worse than I had ever felt in a long time.

His lips pressed against my temple as he moved his hand from my chin to my hair, petting me like a dog. “Shhhh, shush. I just wanted to say goodnight”

This wasn’t a goodnight though, and my stomach was crawling with this nameless emotion as he continued to press light kisses near my ear. He had to be drunk, his body was relaxing more and more, putting more weight on me as his touch became almost tender and he became sleepy. I was worried he was going to fall asleep on me, but he didn’t, just kept playing with my hair for a long while then he stood, collapsing on his bed and leaving me alone.

Now I have to somehow climb into my bed at night, knowing he is only three meters away on the other side of the room, and I’m not worried he is going to play a prank on me anymore, I just hope he doesn’t decide to rape me. .