Why do we fear death? Is it a genetic pre-disposition only, or is it something more? Do we fear nothingness, the depth of infinity, the lack of any stimuli or emotion?

No, we fear the unknown. Death is the ultimate unknown. How could we know anything about it when life throws so many things at us that we must learn, and we must use to grow? How could we know anything about it when there’s no access to it, aside from a one-way ticket? We fear death because it’s the unknown, and we fear the unknown because we cannot combat what we don’t understand. We fear ignorance because all our lives it’s been thought of as something bad, and we’ve been conditioned to fear it.

I don’t fear death. I live in it. Death and life are a bit hazier for someone like me. They aren’t opposites, really, they’re more like air and water.

It all started that day in early spring. The air was still cold, but the tinges of warmth were peeking through, promising a glorious day of heat and joy just around the corner. The snow had all melted, and the heavy rains were subsiding for the coming summer. I was happy that day. That day was burned so deeply into my memory as ‘the last day I was happy,’ since there were so many grim days after that. I remember it in such a detailed way. She was doing a weapons demonstration for... No, this is too painful. The cut is too deep and too fresh to be treating with salt and sand. I have to back up one step further...