Title: It’s Raining, It’s Pouring

Author: Me.

Disclaimer: I own Jamie Watson and Sam Shepherd.

Rating: I’ll say an R just for the dirty songs.

Summary: Jamie likes making up dirty songs.

Author’s Note: Jamie is the italics.

“Jamie.”

“Samuel Shepherd was snoring-“

“Oh for fuck’s sake.”

“He went to bed, I gave him head-“

“Dirty twat.”

“And he had wood again in the morning.”

“You are so annoying.”

“Mm, but you love me.”

“If you say so.”

“How much is that dildo in the window? Oh, oh!”

“Oh my god…”

“I do hope that dildo’s for sale-“

“Jamie, please…”

“How much is that dildo in the window? Oh, fuck yes! Oh, I do hope that dildo’s for sale…”

“Are you quite done?”

“No, I haven’t gotten to the Christmas selection yet.”

“Why do I put up with this?”

“Because I’m cute. And easy.”

“True.”

“And I put up with your bullshit.”

“Shut up.”

“Dashing through the cum-“

“Oh no…”

“With a dildo in my bum… Jacking of we go, and screaming while we come!”

“You’re creative, I’ll give you that.”

“Condoms in a box, and lots of funky socks… Oh what fun it is to hum while sucking off hard cocks! Oh! Squeaky beds, squeaky beds, squeaking while we fuck… Oh what fun it is to hum and watch me while I come… Hey!”

“Are you quite done?”

“You don’t want to hear Silent Night? Or Snoopy’s Porny Christmas?”

“No and no.”

“Spoil sport.”

“Well, if you continue, you’re the one who’s going to have to explain your choice words to your little sister later.”

“…Yeah, okay, I’ll stop.”