Grasping at Shadows

I feel your presence

But I know you are so far away

Thoughts of you haunt my every motion

Knowing you’re not there, and so close

The clock ticks

The metronome of my existence

Counting down moments of lost sleep

Seconds slip past, and then I see you

The infection gripping my body

Rips you away from me

And your dreams enter my mind

Your perfect lips brushing fairer skin than mine

Your fingers entwined in blonde hair,

And you can’t hear my screaming

Blood flows over my fingers

Making me even less worthy

I scream my agony to deaf ears

Trying to keep the façade

The walls I work so hard to maintain crumble

And the darkness comes pouring back

I remember who I was

Just one year ago

Helpless, hopeless

Scared, alone

I have you now,

I have people who care

But why does it seem to be all wrong?

Am I not worthy of this life?

I hear another whisper

A haunting sound of what could come

Where else my future could lie

I cannot listen

Take me from this world

Where life is bleak

Memories tear at me

A solid wall of bricks blocks my way

I have no where to turn

Running gets me nowhere

I am away from you

Trapped in my own mind

Other thoughts invade

Dreams become reality

I scream, disgusted,

I can’t get away

Burn away the thoughts

Cut away the memories

Oh gods

I am driving myself mad!