More Than a Touch of Insanity

Of the chaos pounding in my head

Who will listen

Who will care?

Not you who has your own problems

Not he who is supposed to

Not even she who calls me sister

No one remembers me any more

No one ever knew me

But try as I did to make them see

You remain blind

Illness toys with my mind

Planting images, planting thoughts

Nothing can be reality

When nothing is remembered

And nothing can be remembered when nothing existed

How can I make you hear me

When all I have are silent pleas

I cannot make you care

All I can to is retreat into my shell

Hope I am doing the right thing

Alone with my thoughts, my teeth

You don't remember when darkness took me

When my life changed forever

When my bubble of nativity exploded

I know there is no such thing as forever

Unless it is in the past

Unchangeable

No one knows

Anything but who I show

No one tries to see past

And yet you know me,

Why?

You who I cannot come to grips with

I could have loved you

And yet I know it never could have been

For I refuse to make another mistake

But why do I write to one

Cold as ice

Yet dangerous as fire

As if the imaginary can hear us

As if anything I want will become reality

I feel insanity take over

And I feel myself tense

Ready for another mental battle

Of tremendous magnitude

I fall

My little strength forgotten

My fortifications weak

The smallest stumble, I will fail

And words will once again

Desert me