What was once an industrial kitchen used to serve up meals for the ship’s squadron of feisty battle hardened pilots was now a burnt out husk of it’s former glory. In the span of a day it had gone from a fully functional facility to a completely wrecked useless room. There was ash and burnt out cooking utensils littering the floor. Underneath the grime and soot the stainless steel counter tops on all the surfaces still remain. Brae sat on the cold steel island. The place she spent most of her time working on this cold ship. It had somewhere along the way become her refuge. Now she sat by herself in the dark lifeless room with tears rolling down her cheeks and silent sobs shaking her body. It seemed fitting that her kitchen had been destroyed in an attack the same day. She had been happy there for a bit laying in his arms feeling safe and secure in the calm before the storm. One stupid mistake had ruined it and now she wouldn’t be getting any sleep at all until the next night.

She froze when she felt someone remove her ever present sunglasses. The only noise in the room being the quiet clatter of the glasses being set down on the counter and the sparks that shot out of one of the light fixtures every so often. Jaden placed a hand on each side of her face using his thumbs to wipe away the tears that were still leaking out of her down cast eyes.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to hurt you. It just caught me off guard.” Her eyes remained down cast and she didn’t say anything. He wished she’d stop shutting everything out and just talk to him. He’d been wishing for that for almost three years now. Her hands twitched in her lap as she adamantly refused to meet his eyes.

“Nothing’s changed, you know. I had sort of figured it out on my own by now.” She turned her head in his hands closing her eyes to the view of doorless freezers. She wanted so badly to look him in the face but her safety blanket lay on the counter and she was sure as hell he wouldn’t let her put them back on. He sighed heavily.

“Will you just look at me? Please?” His plea finally broke down her resistance and she looked back up at him. Her eyes were wide as saucers and brimming with tears. They were entirely black. The tell tale trait of a long term apthgen users. A drug often used to make a person more efficient with the side effect of being more obedient. “You don’t look so bad. I don’t see why you couldn’t tell me.”

“Because I’m ashamed.” She sobbed out. Tears leaking out even harder than before.

“What’s there to be ashamed of? Lots of people use it. You have a very demanding job, it’s understandable that you’d need the stuff to get everything done.”

“I’ve never used apthgen willingly.”

“I don’t understand? Then what happened to your eyes?”

“My mother was an addict. My father liked his women obedient, subservient. When ever I started acting up he used to force the stuff on me too.”

“But you looked normal when I met you in training.”

“Yeah, well I had been clean up until our final qualifications. Some of the other pilots jumped me and forcefully dosed me with enough to incapacitate me and thus rendering it impossible for me to qualify. When I woke up I looked like a freak and it’s never gone away.”

“You do not look like a freak. Why didn’t you just take the make up tests?”

“I can take a hint when I’m not wanted.”

“When has that ever stopped you before?” He leaned his forehead on hers just staring into her eyes. Her soft breath tickled his face.

“Why are you staring at me like that?” She asked in a hushed tone. The silence of the room made her want to be as quiet a possible.

“You are my best friend and I have not seen your eyes in three years.” She looked down again, playing with his dog tags. Strands of hair that had been loosely tied up fell into her face. Jaden pushed them back behind her ears.

“You have so many things to hide behind...”

“And I’m going to keep hiding behind them. Nothing’s changed.”

“I like to think things have changed. I mean, you’re finally back in the cockpit and the fact that we’re actually having this conversation has got to count for something.”

“Don’t expect me to start parading around like a brand new person. Besides, we don’t know if I’ll get my wings or just be put in the brig pending a court martial.”

“You’re kidding me. The Captain has been trying to get you flying again since you flunked your qualifiers. Why do you think that plane was just sitting there out in the open like that?”

“The other pilots will protest my wings. They loath me and the fact that I look like an apthgen freak doesn’t help me much.”

“Why do you care so much that they don’t like you. I mean fuck them. You are more than a match for what ever they can cook up. You are the toughest broad I have ever known.”

“I’m not that strong. As a cook I have the full support of the entire service crew in my views. I’ll be a turn coat if I get my wings.”

“So your going to turn down the wings you rightfully deserve so you can spend the rest of your life cooking for the people you loath?”

“Pretty much.”

“That’s stupid. It’s a thankless job and I have to sit back and watch it wear you down.”

“It’s my choice. This is how I would rather spend my life. It’s not as bad as it seems. I mean, I’m pretty much my own boss. I have plenty of people I get to tell what to do and cooking is pretty fun.”

“You chucked a pot of scalding water at a group of pilots this afternoon and then stole a plane to go on a joy ride that I had to track you down afterwards and bring you back to the ship.”

“So I spazzed a little. I was provoked. And I’m sure I’ll be facing charges in the morning if the chocolate cake mix poured into my bunk is any indication.”

“This is not the first time you’ve flipped. I mean, it’s a stressful job and it’s not even a job you really want.”

“I like it fine.”

“That’s why I haven’t seen a genuine smile on your face since you got here.”

“Shut up. I haven’t had a reason for genuine smiles for even longer. You can just tell the difference now.” She pulled his hands off her and placed them at his sides. He clasps her slim, callused hands in his.

“If you continue to be just a cook then I can’t tell you how much I love you. And I can’t do this.” He leaned forward and kissed her. It was a gentle, tentative kiss that left her shocked at first. She warmed up to him quickly, making the kiss deeper and harder than it had started. Her arms wrapped around him, fingers playing across his stubbly scalp. His hands came to rest on her waist. She broke off, leaning her head on his shoulder.

“That’s not fair, Jaden. That’s really not.” Tears were rolling down her cheeks again, soaking into his shirt. “You’re not allowed to change everything.”

“Well, you’re not allowed to fuck up your life that way you have been. It’s not fun to just sit by and watch you do it.”

“It’s my life.”

“I love you.”

“No you don’t.”

“Brae... I love you.”

“No you don’t.”

“I love you.”

“You’re not allowed.” She said into his neck, pounding a fist on his chest.

“I’m going to keep telling you until you admit you love me too.”

“You can’t. This isn’t supposed to happen. Your supposed to love one of those pilot chicks that you fly patrols with and always kicks you butt in the sims.”

“Yeah, that was supposed to be your job until you decided to take the path I couldn’t follow you on.”

“Maybe you weren’t supposed to follow me. We were supposed to end up on different ships.”

“You were supposed to become one of the greatest pilots this man’s army has ever seen.”

“I thought I’d let you do that.”

“Will you stop being so goddamn stubborn already and admit you love me just as much as I love you.”

“I hate you.” She said sitting up to look him in the face. His face fell as she managed to keep a serious expression. As the sadness started to seep into his eyes a smile cracked open on her face. “I’m joking.”

“Why are you always so mean to me?”

“Someone has to keep your ego in check.”

“Will you come back to bed now? Something tells me you’re in for a long couple of days.”

“Fine.” She slid off the counter and let him take her by the hand and lead her away. As they were about to step into the more intact mess hall she stopped.

“What’s the matter?”

“I forgot something.” She turned back and picked up her sunglasses, putting them on. He stared at her. “I told you, nothing’s changed.”