As if it weren’t bad enough already,

to stand alone in a crowd

of people I don’t know,

I heard her voice like nails on a chalkboard,

and my whole body started to shake.

It took everything I had to get my legs to stand and walk away.

I know everyone saw my tears.

Huddled at the top of the stairs I close my eyes,

and picture myself standing tall,

coming so close to her that my height and weight

overtake her small frail body.

I’d say “ this girl, might have,”

I grab her chin with one hand,

“a pretty little face”

and push her slightly as I let go,

“but you don't see what she looks like inside."

And then I’d walk away.

But reality sets in as I wipe my eyes,

with my shaking hands.

I walk to the room with music blasting,

so I don’t have to hear her voice.

I don’t say anything. I spend the night

in my own silent bubble,

with a stabbing pain in my chest.

I can’t forgive them.