Chapter 5: Xaare and Xaara

(Told by Sakura)

Around April 19, 3005 sometime and somewhere

This all started in the universal year 3005, 10 years ago, when I met my baby brother.

My Father, Nazu and My mother Karin, had split up the year she was pregnet with him. So Ralph and I never got to meet him until 5 years after.

His name was Xaare Aru Cha. You could never see the resemblance between Xaare and Xaara.

Xaara was older and had nothing in his eyes. Nothing about him was ugly but it was still hard to look at him directly.

Xaare, the first thing you notice was how alive he was. He was just so innocent and carefree. He had these violet- crimson eyes that where big with curiosity and hope. His crimson tresses were always caught covering them.

Xaara had that too but were older. His hair was so long and he didn’t want to cut it. He cut the outer layer to neck-length. But the rest grew and was left in a low ponytail. He put mascara around his eyes to hide black circles he gained from lack of sleep. Always awake because he knew that if he were to sleep, the people would kill him in it. His eyes were smaller with no hope in them.

Xaare loved to play around, especially with his mother, Karin who was only 20 and taking care of Xaare on her own.

Xaare was shy at first glance, holding on to his mom’s pant leg and peeking from behind.

“That’s your older brother and sister, Xaare,” Karin tried to convince him to move.

But I didn’t let him be shy because I always wanted a younger sibling.

“Hey baby brother!” I tried to hug him but he hid behind her other leg.

“My name is Sakura Cha!”

After awhile of playing a mix of hide and seek and tag, he decided to talk to us.

“My name is Xaare,” he said with his voice engulfed in shyness.

But he wasn’t shy forever! He quickly was our best friend, especially bonding with Ralph.

And when that happened, his real voice came out. He had such a small voice but it had a more challenging life then any other boy his age.

He didn’t have a perfect life, but he was a really good friend who would barley get mad or spoiled. People in a frequent manner would attack his mother as much as Xaara was in the present. I never knew why.

But she wasn’t alone. Xaare’s natural gift of controlling sand served as the weapon to protect her with his life.

July 22, 3015, 10:26 PM Inside a closet

I trembled looking threw the holes of the closet as I heard Xaara approach closer. I put my hand over my mouth to muff out my voice.

Suddenly a blob blocked the light of the moon. I swear my heartbeat was so fast and loud that I thought that’s what led him to the closet I hid in.

“What happened to you?” I asked in my thoughts.

“Sakura,” Xaara whispered as he put his hands on the doorknob, “I’ve found you now.”

He looked at me directly threw the holes of the closet. Such eyes could kill the toughest of people.

The door shot open and revealed his evil expression. But his expression changed when he saw my face.

“You’re alive after all?” He snorted.

“WHAT!” I switched my face of fear with an angry one, “You’re one to talk! You’re the one who kills frequently.”

“Yeah? And so what? My life is a continuous war for survival. What does a heartless girl like you know about me?”

“Look in the mirror! You think there is an excuse for what you do?”

There was another change in his expression. Then he snorted, “It doesn’t matter what you have to say. I won’t let you trick me. I know what your real game is. Stop pretending to be the heart filled girl, it’s too late to let it thaw over. You and I both know that you can’t hide who you really are.”

I couldn’t believe the nerve, he was the one who killed people. I never killed anyone! I never even wanted to become Xaara’s enemy. I always wanted us to fit together perfectly like we did before.

I let the last teardrops fall, and then I forced myself to be angry.

“ERR, What happened to you!” I angrily cried out as he got ready to attack me.

We exchanged harsh glances, looking at each other with out blinking or without being phased by the other’s glance. But his glance was stronger than mine was, because his was true. That was the affect of thinking mine was.

But in reality I was trying to be stronger by pretending I hated him, so I wouldn’t be hurt by his change of heart…

May 4, 3005, 6:04 PM In a park somewhere

One day; after a week I met Xaare; Ralph was tickling him.

“Say ‘uncle’, Xaare!” Ralph suggested while Xaare laughed his lungs out.

“You better say ‘uncle’, Xaare,” I warned him, “He won’t stop until then. Not even after you wet your pants.”

It was getting too much for him and he laughed in playful terror, “Okay, okay! Uncle! UNCLE!”

After catching a breath he giggled, “It’s your turn, Ralph!”

They chased each other running in a circle with their childish laughter mixing together.

“No, Xaare, go tickle Sakura!”

“Time to go, sweetie,” Karin just came back to pick up her son.

“Awl!” The two boys wined.

“We’ll be back tomorrow, ‘kay?”

She took Xaare’s hand and they were off, ”Bye Kids,” She said to us, and we waved.

As they walked Xaare turned his head, ”See you later!” He bid his farewell as he smiled.

Ralph and I smiled and waved back not knowing that something bad was about to change his world completely. We had no idea that this event would change him. And we never knew that we would loose him.

His expression was never filled with anger or sorrow even though his life was not fair. His body weak, but his will was strong. His eyes that shined with the setting sun.

July 22, 3015, 10:47 PM Inside the Sandcastle

I remembered it. I had forgotten it as part of what happened to me on Mars. But how come? It was a happy memory.

At least, it was until I looked at him now.

Then I understood why, it was just a part of my past. A part of him that he had forgotten he had. A part that he didn’t want back. But something I wanted back, because without that attitude we would never move on.

“AHHHH!” I rose with anger despite the pain on all my back and I tried to attack.

“What have you done to yourself, Xaare!” I screamed in a heroic fury as I threw my fits.

He caught it my fits in his palms. But he wasted valuable counter attack time by starring at me. He knew what I met and it changed his eyes.

There was a kind of shine in them. But it was different than hatred and different from happiness the 10 years before.

It was different and I didn’t recognize it. I only saw it on his face once.

May 5, 3005, 10:47 AM Inside the Sandcastle

Ralph and I were in the kitchen when our dad showed. He took off a mask from his face and he revealed a face as white as a ghost’s.

“What happened, Papa!” Ralph asked, ”Is something wrong?”

That’s when the phone ran.

I picked it up and put it to my ear, ”Hello?”

“Uh… who are you?”

“My is Sakura Cha.”

“Oh, so your Nazu’s daughter?”

“Yeah.”

“Well I need to talk to him, can you put him on?’’ He tried to sound calm but I knew he wasn’t.

“Daddy it’s for you?” I took the phone off my ear.

“Who is it?”

“Who are you?’’ I put the phone to my ear.
“My name is Martin,” the voice answered.

“His name is Martin,” I took the phone off again.

“You’re talking to him now, huh?’’ Martin said to me.

“Just give me the phone.” My father said.

“I know he doesn’t like me, but it’s an emergency.”

My dad took the phone and hung up.

“Hey, it was an emergency.

“I know...” He slammed it on the table, “ I know what he wanted to say.”

He walked out.

“Guess he doesn’t like him,” I said.

Martin didn’t seem to be a bad person, and he really sounded serious.

“What’s going on?” Ralph asked.

I looked at the caller ID and memorized the number.

Then when I got it memorized, I ran up stairs repeating the number over and over in my head, “4 – 320 – 3695”.

When I reached my room, I picked up my phone and dialed.

Then I put the phone to my ear and heard it ring in my ear.

When it stopped ringing I heard a voice, “Hello?”

“Hey, you’re Martin, Right?” I tried to stay quiet, “Listen you know something. My daddy knows something, and he won’t tell me so I want to know: What happened?”

“Uh…” He said, “I think you would want to hear it from him. In any case, I need to talk to him. He can’t hide it from you forever. He will have to tell eventually. If he doesn’t want to talk, just tell him that your-“

“Sakura hang up the phone,” That was my father’s voice in the phone,

I forgot that we had only one phone line.

“Nazu,” Martin said, “See I knew you were there. Why in the world did you hang up on me, huh? It was important!”

“Would you stop yelling at me? My daughter is listening. Sakura?”

“Okay,” I only pressed mute and listened.

“ Listen, Scarless king, I know what you’re going to say. Just- “

“Really, Nazu, and how would you know what I was going to say?” Martin of the Scarless asked suspiciously.

“Scarless”? The uncommon race of Mars without a red birthmark on their face, otherwise known as a “scar”? Martin was the king of that half of Mars? He must have had free long distance calls because no one in their right mind would call Mercury from Mars.

“It’s none of your business how I know. And it was none of your business to show up when Karin died.”

“How did you know that… Wait, I could probably guess how you know.” Martin had a calm, stern, and convicting mad voice.

“What could you guess?”

“It was you, wasn’t it?”

“Me? What are you now guessing? That I was the one who did it? Well, you’re wrong! I just happened to be walking by, and I saw it! Why in the world did you butt in?” He had an angry sobbing kind of voice.

“That guy would have killed my son and Xaare if I hadn’t showed up! What were you doing? Hiding?”

“It was your son who got in the way!”

“Don’t blame this on my son, If you really cared about Karin you would have done something! My son had more guts then you and he’s only five!”

“That boy tried to play the hero and if he didn’t show up-“

“What? You would see that guy kill the other boy, first? Is that why you didn’t do anything?”

“Go back to Mars, Martin.”

It was silent for a while when Martin said, “Lets just drop this for now. I called because of something else. You need to take custody of Xaare. Karin has no other relatives, and he can’t survive on his own. If you don’t he’ll probably die.”

“You take him.”

“Let’s not argue again, Nazu.”

“He isn’t mine. And you know what, this is your fault! You had to put yourself in our business, you couldn’t…“

“Forget it, Nazu, That’s not important now.”

“You’re wrong, I lost Karin and nothing is more important to me. Not him.”

“He didn’t do anything to you!”

It was silent until Martin said, “How do you think he feels after witnessing his mother’s death? What about when he finds out that his father doesn’t want him?”

“Yeah I know, Martin, I wonder how I’ll tell him that his father doesn’t want him. Is it because he still can’t swallow the fact that he ruined my life and his own by cheating on his own wife with mine!”

“Shut up, Nazu!” Martin said in a low angry voice, “I said that we have to drop our differences. If she means anything to you, wouldn’t you be the perfect the one to take care of Xaare?”

“This is way more than a difference we have!”

I pressed the mute button and talked, “I have no idea why you two are arguing…”

I heard Martin gasp and my dad shockingly shouted, “Sakura!”

“… But if Xaare needs a home, why can’t he come here?”

“Well, are you going to tell her why?” Martin asked harshly, “Or are you not done lying to her?”

“Don’t talk like that to me when she’s listening!”

“Why do you try to hide your problems from your children? What you think they are real problems? It is more like selfish hatred to me. Get over it, there is nothing you could do about it now. Telling me what grudge you have for me or for your youngest son wont make it allright.”

My father went to my room and took the phone and he left to the other room and they started talking again. Or arguing again.

Nazu eventually went to get Xaare, but when he came back I finally understood what had happened.

It was the first time I saw him with an expression that wasn’t happy. The leap between his old common joy to how he looked now was hard to swallow.

“What happened, Xaare?” Ralph asked him.

Xaare couldn’t answer. His mom was more important to him than she was to anyone else.

He had never cried but his eyes wanted to. He looked like he saw someone die in his face, a mix of fear, sorrow and being traumatized in his eyes. It had left a scar that was the proof that he had lost a part of him he could never get back. The look of no hope, just sweet sorrow embraced his whole thoughts.

That’s what you could see in his eyes. Such power in those eyes. And they picked someone too young and pure to be placed upon.

We found out that Karin had died. We understood why he was sad about it. Who wouldn’t? But we didn’t understand why he lost his name that day. His happiness was never shown again. We could ask him about the old days, but to him Xaare Aru Cha never existed.

There was only Xaara.

July 22, 3015, 10:57 PM Inside the Sandcastle

Xaara held my hands tightly in his hands, mimicking what I saw those 10 years ago. But it was mixed with the eyes that had seen those who got killed and those who killed. Also mixed with eyes that were killed, and who also killed in return. He wasn’t considered cold anymore. He was hurt, and always has been.

And he would remain that way, because I was going to be next. Killed by the darkness of Xaare. But still he would not feel any better, he will always know that the first time he killed was the reason why.

Okay, just so people don't get confused, "Xaara" and "Xaare" are the same person. If you figured that out on your own, I will give you a virtual cookie. If I needed to tell you, then nothing happens. Please review!