A/N:
Okay, so this wasn't really meant to be a poem. I wrote it as part of the novel I wrote for NaNoWriMo and figured it would make a decent poem, so I started to rearrange it so that it would rhyme and then realized I should just leave it as it is.

Summary: Ever play that game "I Never"? It's supposed to be a drinking game, but my friends and I would play it when we were like twelve. We'd all get in a circle, and someone would say "Never have I ever" and then follow that with something she'd never done. Anyone who had done it would hold up one finger, and the first to have all fingers up lost.

Anyway, this poem was inspired by that game.

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Never have I ever been kissed.

Never have I ever been in love.

Never have I ever felt good enough.

Never have I ever gone a whole day without doubting something about myself.

Never have I ever gone a whole day without wondering how someone just as ugly as me and less intelligent and less funny can get a guy and I can’t.

Never have I ever gone a day without wondering if I will ever find someone to love me.

Never have I ever allowed myself to feel really excited about something.

Never have I ever asked for help for fear of looking stupid.

Never have I ever been found attractive by anybody else.

Never have I ever felt that what I had to say was important or clever enough to say in front of a group of people I didn’t know all that well.

Never have I ever felt secure enough in my friendships to say when I’m upset about something and trust that the other person will still be my friend afterwards, even though I know that if our situations were reversed I would still be her friend.

Never have I ever yelled at someone I hated because, no matter how much I might hate him or her, I still want him or her to like me.

Never have I ever yelled at a stranger for fear of running into him or her later in life and needing that person on my side for something.

Never have I ever sat down to eat with someone I wasn’t ninety-nine percent sure wanted to eat with me, too.

Never have I ever flirted with anyone.

Never have I ever been flirted with.

Never have I ever not felt like the odd one out.

Never have I ever liked someone I wasn’t sure could find someone better than me.

Never have I ever gone a day without wondering if the person I’m talking to really wants to talk to me or just doesn’t want to seem rude.

Never have I ever gone a day without wondering if I’ve done something to annoy someone else and they just don’t want to tell me.

Never have I ever admitted to wanting something I can’t have.

Never have I ever said or done something stupid without thinking it would be easier to just never talk to that person again.

Never have I ever asked a question in class had I not firmly established my reputation for being intelligent.

Never have I ever not needed to reassure myself that I was deserving of having someone like me.

Never have I ever gone a day without wondering why people like talking to me in class but never feel like asking me to do anything.

Never have I ever felt comfortable about making decisions.

Never have I ever felt comfortable in a role with a lot of responsibility.

Never have I ever felt that what I had to say was important enough to enunciate slowly and clearly.

Never have I ever known what it was like to be able to tell someone that she was my best friend and know that she felt the same way.

Never have I ever had a lot of friends.

Never have I ever had someone I could tell all my problems to.

Never have I ever had someone I felt I could tell anything to and have him or her not be disappointed in or angry with me.

Never have I ever been able to stand up for my beliefs.

Never have I ever heard someone contradict something I say and felt confident enough in my own knowledge to refute them.

Never have I ever felt comfortable admitting my opinions on movies, books, music, and TV shows without first hearing the other person’s opinions.

Never have I ever not felt the need to say “What?” when someone says something to me to make sure that they’re really talking to me and not someone else.

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