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A PROPOSAL
A sort-of oneshot I wrote for a Drabble Challenge, with the quote,“The man who deserves your tears will never make you cry.”
“…What? Sorry, I’m at level thirty-seven, and the trolls are… Sorry. What did you say?”
“The man who deserves your tears will never make you cry.”
“What? OHHHH, a vampire! Die, die, die, you foul, loathsome, evil, vile Child of the Night! I’m sorry, I’m really sorry, honey… Can you repeat that again? Didn’t catch that.”
“THE MAN WHO DESERVES YOUR TEARS WILL NEVER MAKE YOU CRY.”
“Not in my ear, please. And uh. Why are you shouting? ”
“Maybe… I don’t know. You’ll know if you’d just, well, LOOK OVER.”
“All right, all right. There’s no need to sarcastic, y’know, I was just asking a quest—”
“Well?”
“….”
“Oy.”
“….”
“Hello?”
“…”
“You know, a little response WOULD be nice.”
“OH, MY GOD!”
“…When I say little, I mean LITTLE. Did you have to shout in my ear?”
“T-that was payback. Oh, my God.”
“Fine. And stop that.”
“Oh, my God.”
“Stop Oh-my-God-ing me! I’m not your God!”
“What the HECK are you doing on the floor?!”
“You just had to ask that, didn’t you?”
“What… I mean… B-but… WHAT…”
“What does it look like I’m doing?!”
“It looks like you’re… mopping the floor with the knees of your pants.”
“Woman.”
“Uh, I mean, with the knee. Of your pant. Because only one knee is touching the ground here.”
“Excuse me.”
“And— Oooh, are those real tulips? What a, uh, cheerful shade of yellow. You can so see the splashes of near-gold in the petals!”
“Excuse—”
“WAIIITTT! They must be extremely expensive, aren’t they? Oh, honey, you shouldn’t have spent so much!”
“—me.”
“Uh, yes?”
“Finally decided to pay attention, I see.”
“W-What? I don’t get what you’re talking about.”
“Cut me some slack, will you? I’m trying to propos—”
“I CAN’T HEAR YOU! LALALALALALALA!”
“-e here. Can you possibly be more childish?”
“YES! So you won’t want to marry me then, right? Because I’ll be like a child! You’ll be like… a father!”
“…That’s disgusting, even by your standards.”
“Well, yeah. So. You don’t want to marry me.”
“I do.”
“You don’t.”
“I do.”
“YOU DON’T!”
“I DO! Woman, I know what I want, okay?? I want to marry you, and that is IT!”
“…Okay.”
“Geez, what’s wrong?”
“It’s just…”
“Yeah?”
“I mean, you’re—you’re so HANDSOME, and I’m, well, I’m just me, and y’know, us... Yeah.”
“…Let me get this straight. Are you trying to say I AM TOO HANDSOME FOR YOU? And that’s why you’re rejecting ME?”
“Well, if you put it that way… Uh, yeah.”
“Are you INSANE?!”
“Insanity is relative, it’s the same when I ask you if you’re blind for being together with me— Uh. Okay. Nothing.”
“Whatever. You’re going to agree.”
“Uh, why?”
“Ever heard of Bill Weasley?”
“You’re not—Oh, my God! Put that knife down!”
“Marry me, then.”
“Oh, all r-right! You’re impossible!”
“Bloody hell, woman. Stop crying!”
“I can’t! I’m too happy!”
“And you call me impossible.”