Chapter four: A Boy’s Heart

It was slow motion, it was messed up, it was a situation Hyunki never wanted to be in. Yet, here he was - with a dirty little secret looming over his head.

He buried his face into his pillow, he would suffocate himself if he could. But instead he coughed and rolled over, eyes staring intently at his bedroom ceiling.

It had been a week, a week since he witnessed Seung’s betrayal, a week since he dashed down the hallway and out the door into the early morning light.

Fucker. Hyunki bit his lip. During the past week Seung had swiped his car back from his little brother, Guess he didn’t want to carpool with me anymore. Hyunki rolled around in bed once more.

He wanted to tell Ana Jo, he had to, but he didn’t want to see her reaction, see her crushed, crying. But then again, who’s shoulder would be there for her to cry on? A smile crept over his lips, who would be there to console her? Sometimes you have to break a few heads to get where you want in life. Hyunki grimaced - he was starting to think like his father. He sat up, flicked his lamp on, pulled out a notepad and began scribbling down his game plan.

Alright, Hyunki thought - his heart pounding, I’ll get Ana Jo’s number, call her up - ask her out, to - oh, I don’t know, a movie, then we’ll have dinner, and while walking her home I’ll just so happen to disclose the secret. He stared at the notepad, How stupid. She’ll think I’m a creep if I do that, and how the hell am I going to get her to go out with me in the first place? Hell, how am I even going to get a hold of her? He placed the pad down and sat back on his bed, What to do?

He closed his eyes and took in a deep breath, maybe things will work out on their own. And with that, he turned off his light, and went to sleep.

“Sir?” Jinsuk opened Hyunki’s door, “Sir, there’s a young woman here to see you.”

Hyunki groaned, his eyes adjusting to the morning light, “Tell her to leave.”

“Her name’s Ana Jo sir.”

Hyunki shot up, “What?” He fought with his sheets as he climbed out of bed, “What was that, Ana Jo?” Is this for real?

Hyunki raided his drawers looking for something to wear.

“So I take it you’d like to see her?”

“Yes Jinsuk, go, go - get her something to drink for God sakes.” He jumped out of his sweatpants and into some slacks, “Tell her I’ll be on my way.”

“Yes sir.”

Wow, what do I do? Hyunki ran into his bathroom, he scrambled for his toothbrush, I mean - how do I go about this? He began brushing his teeth when he suddenly realized something. This was too easy.

There he stood, a mouth full of toothpaste, Why is she here anyways? His eyes narrowed at his reflection - Seung had something to do with this! He continued brushing, Is this a threat, could he be trying to send some kind of twisted message? Maybe if I tell her he’ll get me fired. His gut gurgled - No, this is worth loosing my job over, she has to know the truth! He spat.

Hyunki made his way downstairs, trying to look as dashing as possible. “Why Ana Jo, what brings you here?” He stopped and grinned, secretly hoping she could smell his expensive cologne.

She was holding a package in her hands, “I came over to drop off your uniform, Seung was suppose to do it - but he isn’t feeling very well.” She looked a bit sad, “In fact he’s been sick all week.” Her lips formed a pout and it took every fiber in Hyunki’s being not to sweep her off her feet and dash her up to his bedroom.

“Is that so?” He said, eyeballing the package, “And that’s my uniform in there?” He wasn’t so sure anymore.

“Mmhmm! Jang Dowoo gave it to Seung to give to you, but like I said.” She handed the package to Hyunki and smiled. “Well, guess I’ll be leaving now.” She turned and headed for the door.

Hyunki flung the package onto a sofa, “Wait!” Oh man, that didn’t sound desperate.

Ana Jo turned around, she tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear. “Yes?”

“I mean,” Hyunki searched for the words, “you’re not busy today, are you?”

Ana Jo smiled again, a blush tinted her cheeks, “No, actually.”

“Oh um.” Hyunki didn’t think she’d say that, “How about you and I spend the day together, I mean, just as friends, I mean since I’ll be working with your boyfriend, you and I should. . .” Smooth. Very Smooth Hyunki.

“Alright.”

Hyunki’s mouth wordlessly worked itself, “What?”

“I wouldn’t mind spending the day with you, I mean if I’m not a bother.”

“No, not at all. Where would you like to go?” He walked over to the coat rack and grabbed his trademark fur-trimmed claret jacket.

“Actually I was planning on going for a walk at the park, is that okay?”

“Sure, that’s okay.” The two headed for the door, “I’m leaving Jinsuk!”

Jinsuk anchored his head around a near by wall, “Yes sir, should I make dinner?”

“No thanks, we’ll eat out.” Hyunki closed the door behind him, leaving a somewhat ill at ease Jinsuk in the massive house.

Outside - the morning air was brisk, birds fluttered by, the sky was a pretty mixture of pink and orange, Ana Jo looked lovely against the backdrop.

“My, your house is really big.” Ana Jo said as they walked away, she laughed, “So your family’s wealthy?”

Hyunki blushed, “Well I guess you could say that. So. . . Ana Jo? How long have you known Seung?”

Ana Jo looked at her shoes for a moment, “Hmm I’d say five years, but we’ve been dating for three.” Hyunki felt his mood suddenly change, three years? They’ve been together for three years, and that bastard just. . .

“Why?” Ana Jo’s question snapped Hyunki out of his daze.

He laughed uneasily, “J-just wondering, and how exactly did you guys meet?” I hope I’m not being too forward.

Ana Jo’s face brightened up, “I first met him at a Battle of the Bands competition. It was at our collage, I remember going to it with my friend. Seung’s band was up next, but his lead singer Seonjae couldn’t sing. He had caught food poisoning the night before. . .”

Hyunki couldn’t help but feel cold shivers run down his back, “Uh huh?”

“And well, Seung got on stage and did a solo, I’ve never seen anyone play so, so passionately. Nevertheless their band loss, but I’m kind of glad, or I wouldn’t have noticed Seung’s soulful talent. It’s like he reached out to me with his performance. I still can’t believe I went up to him after the show.” She blushed and sighed.

Hyunki frowned, that’s why she’s with him? Because he did some stupid guitar solo? Pfft! How lame. “I see.”

“I know it sounds silly.”

“No, not at all!”

The two of them made their way into the park, they walked around, families road their bikes past them, people walked their dogs, kids played with each other. It was peaceful.

“Oh look Hyunki, look at the ducks.” Ana Jo ran over to the lake, and Hyunki couldn’t help but smile, she’s like a little kid. . .

He was about to walk over to the lake, but stopped when he felt something hit the back of his head. “Ow!!” He turned around, rubbing the sore spot, “What the hell?” He looked around, but no one looked suspicious. Feh, must have been some dumbass kid. He turned around again, and this time something hit his back, “Ow, okay - who did that?!” He whirled around, his hands balled into fists.

“Hey idiot, up here!”

Hyunki’s face twisted into puzzlement as he walked over to a tree, he looked up into the branches, and the color quickly drained from his face. “S-Seung?!”

There, dressed in all brown, with his face also painted brown, hanging from a branch with his legs - was none other than Seung.

Hyunki’s eyes grew wide. “Wh. . . What the hell. What are you doing?”

Seung swung back and forth from the branch, “I believe the question is what are you doing?” Hyunki had never seen such an expression on Seung’s face, he looked pissed. Hyunki blushed nervously.

“No, what are you doing? Why are you in a tree? Why are you dressed like that?” He was quite interested in what Seung had to say.

“. . . I’m a monkey.”

Hyunki snorted, “Are you serious?” He glanced over at Ana Jo but she was busily playing Frisbee with some kids, “What do you want?”

“I’m just here to make sure you don’t say a word to her.”

“And how exactly are you going to do that?” Hyunki crossed his arms, he wasn’t impressed, after all - it was hard taking anyone seriously when they hung upside-down from a tree.

Seung pulled himself up the branch and jumped down, he was nose to nose with Hyunki, he grabbed him by his jacket, “Listen here, you tell my girlfriend what you think you saw, and I swear on baby Jesus’ name that I will hunt you down, and beat the living shit out of you.”

“You don’t scare me Seung. Besides, what’s it to you whether she knows or not, you obviously don’t care about her - or you wouldn’t have done it in the first place.”

Seung laughed, he loosened his grip on Hyunki, “You’re in no position to judge me, you don’t even know me.”

Hyunki pulled himself out of Seung’s grasp, “I know enough.” He turned and left, secretly praying that he wouldn’t be tackled from behind. He caught up with Ana Jo.

“Oh hey, I thought you ran off.” She was out of breath after playing with the kids.

Hyunki smiled, “Me? Never. Hey how about we head to the mall?”

She grinned, “Alright.”

The duo had walked themselves out of the park. Hyunki felt unnerved after his little encounter with Seung. To be frank, he was slightly afraid of him. Who in their right mind would dangle from a tree, thought Hyunki, Not only that - but dress up like a monkey to top it off? He shivered, that guy was turning into something strange.

“So,” Hyunki whipped his head toward Ana Jo, who was happily looking inside the various store windows. “What exactly are you studying?”

“Hmm?” She seemed puzzled for a moment, “Oh, you mean at my art school? Oh, well I’m studying theatre, I’d like to be an actress one day - you know, for Broadway?”

“Broadway, really?” She didn’t seemed like an actress type, “So you plan on moving to the U.S. then?”

She laughed modestly, “That is - if I grab a job out there, if it was a sure thing and all.”

“I think you can make it.” Hyunki was buttering her up, for all he knew she could’ve been a dreadful stage presence.

She nodded her head in response, a slightly uncomfortable smile spread across her lips. “Oh!” She stopped walking and looked at all the pojang machas(1), which now surrounded them, “It’s a chicken-on-a-stick vendor!” she walked over to the little stand and looked at the steaming chicken, “Do you want one? My treat.”

“Don’t be silly - I’ll pay.” Hyunki pulled out his wallet and thumbed through it, he glanced up at the seller, “How much?” He asked, but as soon as they made eye contact he froze - his throat closed up. His eyes bulged. Seung?

It was Seung alright, he was wearing a baseball cap and a peel away mustache. His green eyes narrowed, “Oh this one’s on the house,” His gaze feel upon Ana Jo and his eyes softened, “for such a pretty lady.”

Ana Jo giggled, she seemed unaware that her boyfriend was standing right in front of her. “Aw, thank you.”

Seung handed her a skewer, and Ana Jo walked off happily munching away. Frightened, Hyunki was about to leave when Seung jabbed a skewer at him, “I said, it’s on the house.” He nudged the stick closer and Hyunki jerked in response.

“N-no thanks, I’m fine, really.” He held up his hands and looked cautiously over at Ana Jo, she appeared to be heading back.

“Oh, but they’re to die for.” Purred Seung, his green eyes slanty.

“Uh no, no thank you.” Hyunki turned on his heel - power walked over to Ana Jo, grabbed her by the arm, and led her down the street, far - far away from Seung and his chicken-on-a-stick stand.

This can’t be happening, Hyunki thought still pulling Ana Jo along, This - he’s. . . it’s not possible. He stopped abruptly, his side hurting.

“What’s wrong Hyunki?” Ana Jo had finished her snack, she placed her wrist against his forehead, “Are you feeling alright? You’re awfully pale.”

“Uh, no - I’m okay. I just. . . didn’t that vendor look familiar?” He raised an eyebrow.

Ana Jo pouted, she placed a finger to her chin, “Now that you mention it - his eyes were strange - they we’re like Seung’s eyes, the color.”

Hyunki waited for her to go on, but she didn’t, she merely stared at Hyunki - a look of befuddlement on her face. “Do you still want to go to the mall? We can go home. . .”

“No, I’m fine - I just, it’s nothing.” The two started walking again. I can’t believe she didn’t notice him, for crissakes how many Koreans does she know with green eyes? And with that dinky mustache. . . who has a mustache like that?! Humph, maybe it’s me - maybe I’m just seeing things. . . God I need a cigarette.

Hyunki was surprised, the Golden Gate Mall was really packed. He bit his lip, feeling dread creep down his throat and into his belly. Ugh, a crowded mall - and this was my bright idea? Ana Jo was talking to him, but he couldn’t hear a word, he felt a anxiety attack coming on. Busy with his inner turmoil he accidentally bumped into a rather large Panda. He shook his head and blinked, a Panda?

“Oh how cute!” Ana Jo exclaimed, as the Panda handed her a flyer. Hyunki sighed, it was just one of those promotional mascots. One of those things where dudes dress up in ridiculous costumes and hand out crap you don‘t want. He felt sorry for the guy as he handed him a flyer.

“Thanks.” Hyunki said, he was about to walk off, but the Panda-man latched onto his arm, “Hey!” Hyunki felt himself break into a cold sweat.

“Tell her, and I’ll personally castrate you.” growled the Panda. Hyunki stood wide-eyed, as the Panda whispered threats into his ear. It can’t be, Seung?

“What’s going on?” Ana Jo, was again oblivious, as she watched the Panda try to strangle Hyunki.

Hyunki laughed uneasily as he wrestled with the Panda-Seung, “It’s nothing Ana Jo, just talking to an old friend. Hey see that restaurant down there, how about you grab us a table, and we’ll have some lunch.”

Ana Jo’s brow knitted together, “Okay. . .” and off she went.

Hyunki pried himself out of Seung’s viselike grasp, “What is your problem!?” he hissed.

The Panda just folded his arms, “You know.” Seung said, his voice muffled.

“Just leave me alone. You can threaten me all you want, but I’m still going to tell her.” Hyunki also folded his arms. People eyeballed the two as they walked by.

Seung pulled the Panda head off, “Seriously man, what do you have against me? Why are you being such a tool?” His faux hawk was a mess, his forehead glistened with perspiration, he looked desperate.

Hyunki felt a twinge of compassion, but it soon faded, “She has the right to know. No one deserves being cheated on.” Hyunki didn’t feel like talking about it anymore, so he turned to leave, and Seung took the opportunity to chuck the Panda head at his backside. Hyunki nearly lost his footing, he stumbled along as everyone watched in horror. After composing himself, he turned to Seung, his cheeks red with embarrassment and anger. “WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?!”

Seung was as equally angry, “I know what you’re trying to do!” He bellowed grabbing the attention of even more shoppers. “You just want her for yourself! Well fuck you - you can’t have her, get your own!” He was charging over, fumbling with the bulky Panda suit.

Hyunki took a step back, “She isn’t some possession!”

“Either way - you’re not going to tell her. I’ll let you two have lunch, but so help me if you mutter a word. . .” he was now nose to nose with Hyunki.

Hyunki suppressed a laugh, “Oh please.” He pulled himself away and walked over to the restaurant.

“Don’t say I didn’t warn you!” Seung yelled a ways back. “I swear Hyunki, you’ll regret it. . .”

Yeah, yeah, Hyunki thought as he opened the restaurant door and stepped in. The guy was clearly crazy. . . he was surely all talk.

It was post-eating time, the time when one sits and lets the food digest while waiting for the paycheck.

“That was pretty good.” said Hyunki smiling contently.

“You’ve been so nice today, thanks.” said Ana Jo as she took a sip of her ice tea.

“It was my pleasure.” He paused, Should I tell her now? Would it be appropriate? “Um, Ana Jo. . .”

“Would the lady care for a rose?” A bald man with sunglasses bowed over their table, a basket of roses in his arms. Hyunki could feel the life drain from his cheeks, Don’t tell me. . .

Ana Jo flustered, “Oh no, it’s fine - thank you.”

Hyunki swiftly stood up, he grabbed the bald guy by the elbow, “Excuse us Ana Jo. . .” He pulled the guy across the restaurant into the men’s room. Seriously, this has to stop! Hyunki thought as he pushed the door open, yanking the bald man along with him. He ripped the sunglasses off his face, ready to yell. . .

Brown eyes blinked down at him, he wasn’t Seung.

“GAH!” With shaky hands and bashful grin, Hyunki handed the shades back to the guy who grabbed them back angrily.

“I don’t even WANT to know!” He huffed and exited the restroom.

Hyunki felt stupid, I can’t believe I thought that was him! He gloomily walked over to the sink and rinsed his face off. God I’m getting paranoid. He went to reach for a paper towel and dried his face. He turned feeling somewhat refreshed, he blinked at a guy some ways from him.

“Well that wasn‘t pathetic.” It was Seung, he was leaning against the wall, he was dressed normally - but his hair was down.

Hyunki glowered, “Alright, I admit it, that was stupid.” He adjusted his jacket, “But you’re to blame for that.”

“Heh, I suppose.” he was inching toward Hyunki now. And Hyunki, much to his dismay, could only back into the sink. He wasn’t sure what was going to happen next, so he muttered quickly,

“H-how are you doing that?”

Seung halted - he seemed confused, “Doing what?”

Hyunki wasn’t sure what he meant at first either, “Um, how are you. . . everywhere?” he gulped, relieved by the distance between them.

Seung seemed to understand his question, “Oh, that. That‘s not important, was is important is you keeping that hole of yours shut.”

“You’re a two-timer.” Hyunki said bleakly, the guy just wouldn’t give up.

“I know, I’m so bad,” Seung slapped himself softly, “bad Seung.”

Hyunki frowned. Seung apparently thought this was all a joke. “You’ll only end up hurting her if you stay together.”

Seung’s jaw tightened, “Stop trying to be a boy scout and let it go.”

“T-this isn‘t the first time you‘ve done this, is it?”

“Oh come on, I’m a guy with needs - give me a break.”

“You’re a jerk off, who can’t keep it in his pants!” Hyunki turned to leave, but Seung grabbed his wrist. “What!?” He whipped his head around. . .

“Please.” Seung locked onto his eyes, “Please Hyunki, don’t do this to me. I know I messed up - but I’m the one who has to live with that. You think I don’t feel bad? Of course I do, I feel horrible. I’m not heartless, I just, just. . .”

Hyunki pulled his arm away, “Just what Seung?” he was secretly shocked by this sudden change in Seung’s manner. He was also startled by the fact that he was completely taken by his breathtaking irises.

Seung sighed, he looked at the floor, defeated. Hyunki felt his heart flutter, but instead he called Seung an ass and left.

It was sundown when Hyunki and Ana Jo reached her apartment.

“Thanks again for lunch, oh and the movie.” she gave him a brief hug, and walked into her apartment building. Hyunki sighed, after the little incident inside men’s room Hyunki couldn’t bring himself to tell her. So he spent the rest of the day with her, getting to know her some more. He found her less and less appealing, with each new fact and with each little quirk he noticed about her. He rummaged around for his cigarettes, it was no surprise really, he had been with women he thought he had had feelings for, spent the day with them and all. Yet he usually found himself falling out of love with them quite quickly.

Guess I’m just finicky, he thought halfheartedly as he strolled down the dark streets. He took long drags on his cigarette, loving the rush, but his mind was everywhere. He couldn’t shake the desperate look on Seung’s face from his memory, those sad emerald eyes. He puzzled over the guy, he seemed nice at first - but he was just too, too eccentric now.

Hyunki walked over to the riverbed and made his way down the side. He took a seat on the grass. His eyes stared transfixed at rushing water. He felt sad about Ana Jo, he was sure she was the one. Guess Jinsuk was right, why don’t I listen to him?

He shook his head and laid back. Still smoking away, he stared at the dark sky. I feel like I should help Seung out or something. Maybe there’s a reason he cheats. Hyunki coughed, he felt foolish, Why am I even defending him? He puffed out a cloud of cigarette smoke, he looked at it mildly, feeling horribly lonely all of a sudden. I think I’ll keep Seung’s secret after all.

Note: Wow, this took a while to update. I fixed a few things in the previous chapters and added a prologue. I’ll probably end up fixing things in this chapter too, but for now it’ll have to do. The story will finally get moving now, and hopefully more entertaining.

I’d also like to thank everyone who reviewed, it’s always nice receiving some positive feedback. For anyone else that reviews I will gladly return the favor.

Footnote:

(1) pojang machas: Street food stands.

Up next:

Chapter five: It’s Raining

Hyunki finds trouble in the kitchen. . .