All I Want is You
02

I hit her with my car.

In my defense, she was jaywalking - that alone was illegal - and I was preoccupied. Now, I’m not going to point fingers and blame the whole problem on her - even though she contributed greatly - but I will equalize the responsibility. I admit it: I wasn’t paying close attention, but enough attention to brake in time.

On a normal day, I would’ve been polite, if not civil after an encounter like that; but in all honesty, she caught me off guard. Even though it wasn’t against the law (yet), I was talking on my cell phone. Before conclusions are, well, concluded, it should be known that I never speak to anyone whilst driving - with the exception of anyone concerning my son. And that happened to be of circumstance that evening.

You see, my son was sick. It wasn’t the sniffle-meow-sneeze kind of cold, but he came down with a nasty flu the day before and a relative offered to watch him while I stayed in the office to work on an important case. However, I had to leave my office early, anyway, because his fever took a turn for the worse; and honestly, I don’t think I’d be much of a father if I picked a pile of documents over my ill son.

I was on my way over with Chicken Noodle Soup and medicine when misfortune decided to pay me a visit. I knew her reaction (the bumpee) wouldn’t be one of happiness - I mean, I hit her with my car - but I expected less steam and rage and more, I don’t know, maturity?

It’s possible I may be expecting too much though.

Make that a high possibility concerning people’s attitudes nowadays.

Suffice to say, it was a disaster that ended badly (what disaster ended well?). I lost my temper, she clearly lost hers, and it was an encounter I prefer to never relive. In fact, I was expecting it. But it seemed that I was unlucky this Christmas, for I saw her in the last place I expected to see her.

We were both (slightly) calmer during our second meeting; I guess she was still snubbed, but I pinpointed it as a female-pride issue and my not-exactly cheerful retorts that caused her to act a tad sour-faced. Her strained expressions were interesting watch, however, especially when her parents were in our presence.

Admittedly, she managed to shock me more than I can handle that night of our second stumble upon. Gavin took an instant liking to her and that alone softened my hard opinion - if you will - of her. It couldn’t be helped.

That’s probably why he was tugging my pants. “I’m sorry, little man, but you have to stay with Amanda tonight.” Amanda was his babysitter. He wouldn’t stayed at his Grandma’s house, or aunt Louisa, because they both decided that tonight would be a wonderful night to go Christmas shopping. My boss also decided that tonight would be a wonderful day to work in late.

“Why can’t I go to Grandma’s?” He jutted his lower lip as I bent to his eyelevel. He really was too cute for his own good.

“They already left before I knew I had work.” I ruffled his hair and he scrunched his face at the gesture. I smirked slightly. “How ‘bout you go play while I get ready?”

“Wha-wha bout Des!” The name that slipped out of his mouth made me stop and wonder for a split second, before I realized who he was talking about. I’m surprised he remembered her name; he usually doesn’t take a liking to someone that quick. It probably had to do with the fact that she was actually the only person he knew at the moment since we’ve only moved in.

“And why her?” I couldn’t help but ask, humored.

He looked up at me with big eyes. “Cus she pwayed wit me, an’ chase the b-bullies away!”

She told me about that.

I nodded slowly. “I see.”

“I want Des,” he declared.

I shook my head amusedly. “Sorry, kid. You can’t always get what you want.” Not to mention I really didn’t want to risk talking to her again. I know for a fact that she would be able to baby-sit because her mother was more than willing to offer the fact that she wasn’t busy all Christmas break.

“But Daddy!”

I picked him up and marched to his messy room. Wrinkling my nose, I said, “You better clean this up,” and set him down. He stood there, looking at me with betrayal on his face. I couldn’t risk looking into his eyes; I’d be doomed. “You hear me, little man?”

His voice was soft, “Daaaaddy.”

I accidentally looked at him and his eyes were tearing. I knew that expression all too well; of course, he’d inherit from me. Rolling my eyes at my softness, I ruffled his hair and gestured to his room. He had me wrapped around his finger tighter than he knew.

“I’ll think about it if you clean your room. Deal?”

He let out a loud, ‘yay!’ and proceeded to do as he was told. Bribery. Kids will do anything to get what they wanted. I smirked and walked to my room, trying to remember the number Dakota and Junior left me.

All right. Maybe I overreacted and provoked her during earlier encounters. Maybe she wasn’t as bad and testy as she seemed. Maybe… she was nice?

I pressed myself against the wall but couldn’t tear my eyes away from her. It was eleven thirty at night and I came home from hell; my brains cells were hurting at this moment. I was mentally preparing myself for snippy comments and cold shoulders - just of in case - but was rather taken aback when I walked in a surprise.

Desiree was staring thoughtfully straight ahead at a blank TV screen. The lamp light was open and I could see the book placed down on the armrest of the couch. Her right hand was rhythmically patting Gavin lightly who was sleeping soundly on her lap.

I was floored. I didn’t know whether to announce my presence or leave them because - honestly - they looked too peaceful to be bothered.

But she seemed to have sensed me because she looked straight at me. I froze, my eyes on her eyes, and wondered how someone could look so -

“Hi,” she softly, as not to wake Gavin. I found my voice and offered a curt nod, my expression indifferent. She seemed uncomfortable for a moment before relaxing and said, “How was work?”

Hell. “Good.” I slowly undid my tie with one hand, taking in her position. My eyes softened when they landed on Gavin. His hand was clenching her shirt loosely and his face was one of adorable content.

“Your son’s adorable,” she said, an undercurrent of wistfulness in her voice. Her hand moved to graze his face and she looked up at me. I sensed the question before she even opened her mouth. “Um, if you don’t mind me asking… what happened to his - ?”

“Divorced,” I said abruptly. I gauged her reaction and was rather surprised see her release a relieved breath. She nodded.

“I see.”

I placed my briefcase on the dining table lightly and unfastened the buttons of my collared shirt. I’ve always hated these things. Rolling my head back, I glanced at Desiree from the corner of my eyes and saw her making a strained face in the direction of the television. Reluctantly, my lips tugged into a perplexed smirk.

“Do I make you uncomfortable?” I said.

She tensed and I resisted the urge to chuckle at her behavior.

“Not at all,” she said lightly.

Shaking off my blazer, I moved towards her. “I wanted to thank you,” I said as sincerely as I could. Her eyes were on me and I couldn’t get rid of the fact that her confused expression was somewhat adorable. “For hearing me out and watching Gavin. He really does like you.” For some unknown reason.

At least, that’s what I thought. But looking at the way she handled him made me realize that, maybe, Gavin, was seeing this person all along. It’s amazing how kids could look right through faults and see the good within people.

But maybe I was biased and blinded by the surly first impression…. That is a possibility.

“It was no problem, really. He was an angel.”

I quirked an eyebrow. I found that hard to believe. “You sure about that?” My voice was amused. I was surprised that the house wasn’t turned upside down in my absence. Gavin looked like an angel, but when he’s too comfortable with people, he tended to be a little… overexcited.

Desiree winced and smiled sheepishly. “Okay, he was a little hyper. But it was fun.” Her eyes brightened. “We went made a snowman in the backyard, had hot chocolate afterwards…. He showed me his dinosaur collection.” She gazed at me with some sort of unbelieving awe on her face. “He knows every. Single. One. By. Name.”

A laugh escaped me, unchecked. “Trust me, you do not want to be on his receiving end of introductions.” I paused meaningfully and smirked. “Oh wait, I guess you did have to endure that, huh?”

She teasingly winced. “All two hundred of them.” She laughed a second later. “No, it was fun. I wouldn’t mind going through it again.”

She didn’t? I jolted myself out of my momentary lapse of gazing at her too long. Damn. I needed some proper sleep, apparently. “I’ll hold you to that.”

She smiled.

I let my eyes fall to Gavin, trying to ignore these odd feelings stirring in my chest at her smile. So what if her eyes were bright? So what if she liked my son? So what if she was gorgeous? All that didn’t matter: she was Gavin’s babysitter, and that was that.

“Here, I’ll take him,” I murmured, bending over her to cradle Gavin properly without disturbance. But at the same time, she shifted subtly and started to lift herself up, saying, “It’s okay, I have - ”

I foreheads slammed against each other’s.

I pulled back, trying to mute my pain while Desiree’s face scrunched in silent agony. At least, that’s what it looked like to me.

“I’m sorry,” I said, trying not to feel stupid.

“No, no.” She winced and twitched. “That was my fault. Here, let me stand up and give him to you, ‘kay?” She uncurled her legs, simultaneously shifting Gavin into a more comfortable position in her arms. Soon, she was standing directly in front of me, and I noted that she was half a head shorter than me.

“Thanks,” I muttered, taking hold of him. It was for one moment where we were entangled that I caught her eye.

“Not a problem,” she murmured back and pronounced the space between us.

“I’ll be back with your cheque,” I said, trying to take control of my moronic expressions.

“No, it’s fine,” she started to protest, but I wouldn’t hear of it. I ignored her and walked up the stairs as quickly as I couldn’t without waking Gavin up. But when I got downstairs the blanket on the couch was made and Desiree was no where in sight.

Half amused and half shocked, I shook my head. “Son of a…” There was a note on the blanket, and I wondered how the hell she did all this in record timing.

Use the babysitting money to buy Gavin another Christmas present - he said he wanted more dinosaurs.

There was a smiley face and I couldn’t stop my own lips from tugging into that very same expression.

PS I truly am sorry about our previous encounters. I guess you’re not a bad guy (not that I thought you were…). Please accept the gift on Gavin’s top shelf as a token of my apology.

Desiree

Well, she wasn’t too bad of a person, either. Shaking my head, I wondered what she was talking about. Top shelf? I retraced my steps to my son’s room and quietly opened the door; but a small head popped from the bed and stared right at me.

“Daddy?” he said softly.

Sighing, I walked over to him. “I’m sorry for waking you, kid.” I kissed his forehead and smoothed his hair down. “Go back to sleep.”

He laid his head and I stood up. But then his head popped up again. “Are you lookin’ for da gift?” he asked. Surprised, I nodded my head. I saw his cute grin in the shadows. “Des said to tell ya that she’s real sorry for bein’ such a meanie da first time, and she hopes that you’ll forgive her. Forgive her, Daddy! Des is real nice and she makes da best hot chocolate…. Don’t be mad at her no more!”

Chuckling, I swooped down and met his eyes. “Did you have a good time?”

His head bopped up and down furiously. “Yes! She said that I was a smart cookie.”

Laughing, I felt my heart warm. “She said that, huh?” I began moving towards his top shelf and saw a white nondescript box placed neatly next to Gavin’s snow globe. Frowning a little, I took it down and stared at it for a while.

What could it be? I mused. I set it on Gavin’s bed and didn’t bother telling him to go back to bed when he crawled over and peeked over my arm. I couldn’t tear my eyes once I lifted the lid; but when I did, the amused smirk on my face was there for a while.

I guess I’d have to track her down to give her the cheque and a personal thank-you.