Trip though the splish-splashes of puddles,
one and half inches until the flood warning goes off.
The lump in my throat just gets bigger
and I can’t swallow my fear anymore.
Around the corner and behind the garbage cans,
laughing at you and your rather…different…past.

She said she tasted like salmonberries and the sunset,
but I knew I tasted of sweet sorrow and spiced lies.

Open your umbrellas now, try not to remember
dancing in the rain. Iloveyousomuch Just
not
like
that.
Starbucks on the bus ride home, sipping, slurping
all the while ignoring the way you looked at me.

The past flies away too fast for you to catch it,
yet the teardrops are tattooed on your heart.

And here I sit and think about my life
and just try to forget sitting in the car
and hearing youWANTEDtokillYOURSELF.
Trying not to cry because I loved you,
trying not to cry because I you loved me.
Trying not to cry because we loved in different ways.

Her flame flickers on and still I stand here.
No one ever told me it would be this hard,
no one ever said the first time you made out
would be with your best friend, her lips on yours
all the while you’re trying to get away. Ignoring
the hints. Ignoring the pain. Ignoring the ignored.

And still I torture myself, wondering if I had
pretended
to be queer what things would be like now.
Maybe it’s better that I got out while I could.
Maybe it’s better I pushed her away, or at least tried.

Maybe it’s better we seem to hate each other now.

(Still can’t help but to wonder, did you want to KILLyouself
because of me?)(Still I can’t help but to wonder, did you
cry yourself to sleep because I said no?)(Still I can’t help
but to wonder, is it time to let go?)

Hush little baby don’t you cry,
mummy’s going to send you to the shrink one day.