Hatred is a funny concept and a remarkably human one, no other animal has the capacity to be quite as spiteful as mankind and it’s probably just as well. Imagine the raging force of a rampaging gorilla, a worrying concept; now imagine that the gorilla hates you, now you’re really worried. You see humanity has the unique capacity for this most interesting of emotional states for very good reason, frankly there are very few other animals who would be able to exact the savage machinations that mankind can and unless hatred is expressed properly (i.e. in an intricate and well thought out way) it’s a waste. Much like the cliché of the “down on one knee in the restaurant” proposal, it’s a nice thought but lacking something in execution. Personally I only hate about 4 or five people in this whole world, of the thousands of people I have met, the hundreds of those who have pissed me off and the tens of repeat offenders there are only a handful worthy of my hate. They shall not be discussed here, this is philosophy, not counselling. I personally feel it would be a great honour to have someone truly hate you, to loathe and despise you to the point where the word nemesis becomes not only apt but necessary. It almost matches the high of knowing that someone truly loves you but not quite.

I have before now exacted exquisite revenge on more than one of the few who bear the dubious honour of my true hatred, one of those required several months and some serious financial backing to achieve but the end result, a truly broken enemy is worth more than money ever will be. To see the look in the eyes of a true enemy as his life is ruined is one of life’s greatest joys I like to think and I hope that if ever my life does go totally to hell it will be on the wings of a Machiavellian conspiracy of epic proportions. It seems like an unusual wish but I’d rather have my life wrecked by the hard work and planning of an individual nemesis or group of nemeses than sheer bad luck, it would help me sleep at night knowing who caused my downfall, not to mention giving me the fire inside to carry myself back up. Nothing can quite motivate a man like revenge.

I feel I may have gotten somewhat ahead of myself. To many readers this article is probably too much and they’ve already left, perhaps if I were to explain true hatred to any readers who remain they would be more likely to stay and finish the essay.

True hatred often starts as a funny feeling, commonly referred to as itchy knuckles. When someone’s presence just makes you want to lash out with your bare knuckles and beat them to death but can’t quite place the reason why, this feeling is one of the starting points of true hatred. The other is the polar opposite. Hatred and love are far closer than many would like to think; as such the other common starting point for true hatred is love, or at least an attraction of sorts. Don’t use this little nugget of knowledge as an excuse to declare your undying hatred for an ex lover unless you are knee deep in planning their eventual downfall. So now we know where hatred most commonly starts, obviously neither of these things in itself is a reason enough to engage in the sort of savage undertakings that hatred has lead me to so far, there is always more.

Again there are two broad ways hatred can develop, first off is the trauma trigger. Your minor annoyance will perpetrate some kind of evil against you. Oddly enough the vast majority of the time it’s just a well meaning cock up, which is reason enough for me not to go out of my way to give anyone a pleasant surprise, because they so often turn out to be triggers for hatred. The other side of evil growth is when a series of small exchanges escalates, a dribble cup here, a whoopee cushion there, bucket on a doorframe, a strategically placed razor blade on the toilet seat. That sort of thing, it starts out small, a prank, a mistake or someone being a twat, it ends up as true hatred and two people being genuinely evil.

Hatred is so very often associated with evil. I suppose true hatred is the total all consuming desire for the suffering of another and causing suffering is apparently evil but hells if I didn’t do things that were evil I’d never have any fun. I prefer to think of the “evil” of hate being more a case of clarity of thought, you will never come up with a scheme as intricate and clever as the dastardly plot you create when inspired by true hate. You can spend a lifetime planning for some great public work, then when the deed is done you feel warm and fuzzy inside for a while, then you die and it’s forgotten. If you spend your life planning some terrifyingly intricate vengeance or indeed a pre-emptive strike against your soulhate when it all falls into place and they crumble you feel just as warm and fuzzy inside but now you know that you’ve completed your mission so if you do pop your clogs you do so with a little grin. Somehow I just feel that a well placed act of “evil” is so much more rewarding than an act of “good” there are so many of both but very very few are well done, let alone remembered. I’ll give an example, I’m sure you all know the story of the Count of Monte Cristo, the seminal literary work on revenge as far as I am concerned, now is there an equal and opposite story of a man who dedicates his life to a great work of good for the benefit of mankind? I’m sure there are but I’ll be buggered if I know of any because good people are so forgettable whereas an anti hero lives on.

Most people assume they hate at least one person but the simple truth is that most people aren’t capable of true hatred. The vast majority of the populace don’t have the attention span for a start. You know if you really hate someone, if you want to kill someone you’re just angry with them, that will pass, but if you hate them then you know about it, you wake up not wanting to kill but to utterly destroy, to annihilate, humiliate and ruin your victim. Basic rule of thumb is to make a time scale of what you did yesterday, if more than an hour of it was spent plotting, putting into place or finally causing the downfall of someone you absolutely loathe then you know it’s true hate. Congratulations, you just popped your sour grape cherry.

My inane ramblings on this topic can go on for days so I’ll leave this one where it stands and leave you with this thought:

True hatred is all to rare today so if you hate or believe you are truly hated then rejoice, be proud to be one of the few but watch your back, you never know who will be stabbing it in future.