Empty Eyes

by, Cassandra

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A split second in a lifetime, a tiny nick in an otherwise perfect mask. That's all it took to cause everything I've ever known to collapse. I don't think it's fair. One person shouldn't have that kind of power over another, especially when it's not a mutually shared power. Because now I'm stuck here, holding the pieces of my broken world, and you're walking away. And I know, I know, there's nothing I could ever say to make you turn around.

I should have seen it from the start, but I was blinded by that sparkle in your eyes. The sparkle that always seemed so real, but was just a façade hiding what was behind it. The nothing that was behind it. It's always been a game, and I was just another pawn to get you what you wanted. And did you ever get it. I gave and gave until I had nothing left to give. I was drained dry.

Do you ever stop to think of your actions and the effect they have on other people? I could have been so much more then what I am, but you stole anything good I had to give. The perfect crime. You can't be punished for stealing something that was willingly given. And as much as I want to blame you, I can't. Everything I did I did of my own free will. I only have myself to blame.

When I see you smile, I'm so tempted to warn the recipient of your affections. To tell them exactly what that beautiful smile is saying. That spark in your eye is merely amusement. You'll use and abuse, mock and ridicule, and they'll beg for more every step of the way. That smile says it all. "I want you, I'll have you, I'll kiss you, I'll kill you. And you'll love every fucking moment of it."

I wish I was able to read your eyes back then like I can now. But I can't help but wonder… would it have made a difference? Could I really have resisted? Watching you is poetry in motion. No matter how dark and twisted you get, it's still a work of art. One that I can't look away from even if I wanted to. And I don't. I'll sit and watch you work your way through the room, drawing every single eye, and I won't lift a finger to prevent the massacre I know is coming.

It's just the way it goes, I guess. You've got your broken but adoring fans, and that's all you really need. You need to know that someone needs you, just like we need to know that someone needs us. It's a perfect compromise. We'll sell our souls to Lucifer's incarnate just to attain the knowledge that we are now fucking works of art in your empty eyes.

I can't hate you, and I can't regret you. I can't love you, but I do adore you. An epic story is unfolding, and I'm dying to be a part of it. A tragic love story that will live on for centuries and I'm determined that I'm going to be the person by your side. Empty, broken, but still hauntingly beautiful under your tender touch. Make-believe takes on a whole new meaning.

I'd thought that it was you who was above me, but now I realize that it was me above you. You've done nothing but bring me down to size. We're equals now. I've given up everything to be what you needed, and you took all I had to give. You had nothing while I had everything. Maybe it's balanced out now. I gave you the soul you needed. You gave me the beauty I hated.

But inside I know that you couldn't have turned me into this unless I had what it took. Underneath that mask, I've been like you all along. You saw it through that tiny crack. You made me into who I already was. I've never been better. I'm just a beautifully painted shallow shell. I am just like everybody else. And thanks to you, I can't hide it anymore. My eyes are empty.