Shut Up

by, Cassandra

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"How do they expect me to get anywhere when I have to hide who I am? No, they never asked me to, but would they really want to see me as I really am? Could they understand, accept this girl I hide? I’ve asked this so many times. But I still don’t have my answer."

(maybe if you actually asked)

"But then that little voice chimes in, asking what the point is. What’s the point when I know they’re not even going to hear, or understand, or accept who I am?"

(how could you know if you’ve never tried?)

"I’m shifting the blame, hiding my fear. I’m masking my hurt, and I’m playing a part. And they’ve never once seen through. So, what’s the point? That’s the question I ask of you."

(there is no point. you’re just scared)

"No. I’m not scared. I’m terrified. But no one understands."

(you just think they don’t understand)

"No, they won’t understand. They couldn’t, because they never take the time. They don’t care enough to make the time. And that’s not even my opinion. Somehow that just makes it worse."

(we’re just going over the same thing again and again)

"Exactly, so why don’t you stop second guessing me and help me figure this out? You’re too busy thinking you know it all to realize that you’ve completely missed the mark. You’re just wasting my time."

(I’m wasting your time? Hon, seriously…)

"Don’t even start with me. I’m not in the mood to argue right now."

(could’ve fooled me)

"What did I just say? God, this is what I’m talking about! You’re too busy making snide remarks and countering every single thing I say to be of any help when it comes to the important things. By the time I get you to shut up I’m too tired to deal with anything else."

(and whose fault is that?)

"Certainly not mine. Blame it on too much sun, even though I lock myself up in the dark, wasting away the days while arguing over petty things with you. God, I need help."

(I second that)

"You’re intent on driving me insane, aren’t you?"

(you’re the one arguing with yourself)

"Yes, thank you. I already knew that. You didn’t need to point it out. Now shut up so I can think."