A/n: Why is it that you, of all people, make me feel the urge to swear the most?

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"Ever lost touch, let a good friendship die, because you never had time to call and say ‘Hi'? You'd better slow down, don't dance so fast. Time is short, and the music won't last."

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Don't Dance So Fast

by, Cassandra

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You just don't get it do you? That's one thing I've never understood; how you can share this advice, and not take it yourself. How you can spout these lies, lies that taste like the truth in your own mouth, and not even realize your mistake. I don't know what you want me to say to this. I don't know what I could say that would make you even care.

You see, I don't think you've ever stopped to think, and I honestly don't blame you. If I was in your position, I'd probably be the same way. Blinded by what you have, you never stop to think about what you're missing. Trying so hard to taste everything life has to offer, but you're passing up the things that are supposed to matter most. I don't have that. I don't know what life tastes like, sounds like, feels like on that side of this wall.

I've been waiting, you know. I've waited with baited breath, hanging on your every lie. Don't worry; I know that they weren't lies when they fell from your lips, but that just makes it hurt all the more. Truth that turns into lies; it's like pouring salt on the wound, because I know that you meant them. You just never cared enough to keep them.

I keep thinking, wondering why I stay. Why do I keep hanging onto something I know isn't going to last? Why am I so fucking invested in this charade that I come running back every time you say my name? I'd always liked to think that I was stronger then that, but apparently I'm not. I'm just another whipped puppy on a leash. Funny, ain't it?

It hurts though. I've been waiting all my life, at least that's what it seems like. Yet, you never have the time. You have the time for everyone else, but never me. You keep throwing out these empty promises, keeping me waiting around, but you never deliver. Sorry to break it to you, honey, but I can't live on scraps forever. And nowadays, your word means nothing.

Don't be so surprised. I've poured everything I have into this, so yes, it pisses me off that you'd give it to someone else. You want me to say I'm happy for you, and I did, but it was a lie. And it tasted like a lie. I don't want to lie anymore. Truth is, I am jealous. And I'm hurt, and I'm angry, and I don't know how to tell you. I want to hurt you like you've hurt me, time and time and time again. But I can't, because you just said my name.

How many times do I have to go through this before I realize it's not worth it? Because, I'm sick of being weak, but I always admired your strength. I hate to be cliché, but I'd even go as far as to say that you were my strength. I mean, that's what "best friends" are for, isn't it? To lean on, to lend an ear, to give you a kick in the ass when you need it, and it pick you up when you fall? If so, what kind of friend are you?

I'm tired, and I'm so close to breaking. And I know you won't be there to pick me up, to carry me. So maybe it's time to cut my losses, but I've already tried that. Didn't work too well, did it? Desperate times call for desperate measures… or at least desperate begging. So I'll fucking beg. I need my friend back.

Please. I'm not ready to lose you.