Precious moments in life are to be treasured by someone. These moments are priceless and hold something significant in that person’s life. The day one uttered his first word, one receiving an award and even one’s first experience of being in love. Surely this memento is the most precious one of all. ‘I love you.’ Three simple words, yet has the ability to arouse so many different emotions. How does one find courage to say them?

Honestly speaking, I did not experience any sort of typical first love. I never understood those racing pulse and fluttering heartbeats. Yes, there are those embarrassing and awkward moments as well. Somehow or rather, I have this knack of falling for guys who are not so smart. There is just something in them that draws me in. However, these feelings fade away with time. I’m partially glad of that.

I never took these crushes of mine seriously as I knew there were just passing feelings that one experience and go through during their adolescent years. Just a bit of an old fact, I do have someone in mind. I admit I’m embarrassed to say it but either way this will surface sooner or later. About that; I’ll leave it to the end. Meanwhile, allow me to take you down memory lane…

It was just an ordinary day, nothing special just the same old routine I do day after day. The hours went by like a snail crawling. I sighed somewhat lamely. My history teacher droned on and on about the colonial days. My hand which was jotting down notes grew bored and started doodling on the paper. Finally, the school bell rang signaling the end of school; my favorite time of the day. I could not have felt any happier. I gathered my books and stuffed them into my locker. Grinning from ear to ear, I literally skipped to the library. Usually, I detest going to the library, but today I felt the urge to do so.

The cool blast of air conditioning rushed over me as I entered the tranquil little place. Shelves stacked with books loomed everywhere. The busy sounds of the outside world slowly faded away as the door closed behind me. I smiled at the librarian on duty. I walked down the aisle as if in search of a quiet corner to read. Soft murmurs and muffled shuffling of books wafted through the library.

I was in fact heading towards my favorite spot. I discovered this untouched section when I was wandering in the library back in my first year. What is more, this section has my favorite selection of books too. Alas, a snug corner in the quietest section of the library came into view. I smiled happily thinking no librarian would bother me here. Imagine how surprised I was to see someone; let alone a sleeping someone in my corner. What is more, it was a guy.

Frowning slightly, I glanced around. His bag lay dumped at his feet, half of its contents spilt. I looked at him. Glasses slightly askew, his dark fringe fall neatly across his forehead creating a smart casual look. His school tie hung loosely around his neck, his vest disheveled. His dark blue school blazer was draped over another armchair. Books were strewn across the table. Out of the corner of my eye, I read the name on one the books. Ernie huh… looks like he just stripped halfway and fell asleep, I thought, amused. As tempted as I was to wake him up and shove him out of my favorite seat, I decided to ignore him.

Turning around, I carefully stepped over his bag and settled on the armchair with my back facing him. I opened my book and started to write. I rested my head on my palm while writing. Time passed by and not long after, I had writers block... again. Sigh.

“How am I going to continue this?” I sighed aloud.

“Perhaps you should just ditch it,” replied a voice.

Startled, I spun around. The guy; Ernie, was awake, and he looked tired. His dark eyes lingered on mine for a second before I looked away uncomfortably.

“What are you doing here?” I asked, closing my book hastily.

“Shouldn’t I be asking you that?” he replied, stretching and staring me.

“It’s my spot y’know,” I shot back, somewhat lamely.

“It doesn’t have your name on it,” he smiled.

“Neither has it had yours.”

“That’s lame… coming from you,” he chuckled.

“What do you know about me?” I retorted.

He smirked in reply. He gathered his books and things from the ground. Pocketing his glasses, he leaned on the bookshelf and peered at me. I was suddenly conscious of his height and his dark gaze which seems to see through everything.

“Everything,” he winked. With that, he left with me feeling annoyed. I muttered angrily and reopened my book. How ironic, I thought as I read my last sentence; ‘He left without saying a word’. Rolling my eyes, I caught a glimpse of a dark blue blazer still draped over the armchair. I chuckled wickedly as I gathered my things. I left the library that day accomplishing my objective and feeling somehow triumphant over the plan I made.

The next day, I arrived in school earlier than usual. I had a mental turmoil going on in my very own head.

Should I give him back the blazer just like that?

‘No, black mail him first then give back.’

“Don’t listen to her; just give it back to him. It’s not like he did anything to you.”

‘That’s rich. He made fun of us yesterday. He called us lame.’

“To feel this downright insulted with just a word-”

‘Why-’

Okay, okay… just shut up. I’ll decide on my own.

‘Fine, have it your way.’

“All the best…!”

“Note to self; never consult the voices in your head,” I muttered under my breath. I silently groaned when I realized that I don’t even know what form or class he’s in. But he’s in the same school… right? The problem is... my school compound is huge! I sighed in exasperation. I didn’t spot him throughout school hours. Not that I could anyway. I was literally confined in my class for lessons. That day, I again paid a rare visit to the library -not to write- but to search for him. I brought my notebook along out of habit. This is so not me to look for a guy to return his blazer. Just as I was thinking of dropping it off at the Lost & Found counter, the sight of a day old memory caught my eye. Sure enough, it was him minus the glasses. For some reason, he looked rather... innocent and adorable without his glasses. And in my favorite corner too! How dare he…!

“Hey,” I tapped on his shoulder. He didn’t stir. Frowning, I place my notebook on the table.

“Hey,” I said again, shaking his shoulder.

“Mmmm…”

He stirred a little but fell asleep again. I looked around to check that no nosy librarian was present before resorting to my secret waking-hard-sleepers-up technique.

“Wake up you fool,” I whispered into his ear as loud as I dared while shaking his shoulder hard. His hand suddenly caught up with my hand and I could swear that my heart skipped a beat. He yawned and sleepily opened his eyes. His eyes widen as his gaze dropped into his hand clasped around mine and my surprised face. He quickly let go.

“Ah, sorry…” he apologized hastily.

“Uh… it’s fine,” I muttered sheepishly. I was still reeling from the intensity of his unobscured gaze. He glanced as his wristwatch and raised an eyebrow. “Just in time… hmm?”

I raised an eyebrow questioningly. Leaning on the table, he straightened his uniform. I couldn’t help but stare distractedly at his slender fingers tying his necktie. My ears barely heard a soft rustle and something being pocketed. I was startled out of my reverie when he patted me on the head saying, “Thanks for waking me up, love. I have to go now. Ta-ta…!”

The endearment he used rolled off me like water on a leaf. He set off whistling much to the annoyance of the librarian on duty. Looking at his retreating back, I suddenly remembered my purpose for coming. “Hey, wait…! Your blazer...”

He spun around slowly. His dark eyes fell on the dark blue material in my hands. “Oh.” I looked at him incredulously at his lack of enthusiasm.

“Aren’t you taking it back?”

“Nah, you keep it. You need a reason to see me, right?”

Winking, he waved goodbye and disappeared through the library doors before I could protest. I stood there gaping slightly with his blazer still in my hands. Without further thought, I chased after him.

“Wait a minute!” I called. He rounded around the corner but stopped when he heard me.

“Yes?” he inquired.

“But you need one for tomorrow’s assembly,” I said.

He paused, thinking for a moment. “You’re right… but nah, I still don’t need it. We’ll be even if you keep that.” I looked at him, puzzled. Grinning, he noted, “That expression of yours is really amusing.” With that, he laughed lightly. I just stood there feeling a little wary.

“What do you mean by even?” I asked curiously.

“It’s simple, love,” he explained slowly as if I was a child. I flinched at the endearment. “You have something that belongs to me which is that” –he pointed at his blazer in my hand– “and I” –he addressed himself– “have something which belongs to you.”

Now really. I thought, aggravated. This guy is definitely annoyance personified.

“What is it that you have belongs to-”

He reached for his pocket and pulled out a notebook. My eyes widen in surprise.

“When d-did you...?” I stuttered, too shocked to speak coherently.

“Why don’t you ask that yourself?” he replied, grinning.

Just then I remembered that I left it at the table before chasing after him. He must’ve taken it when I was gawking at him. Turning scarlet, I tried to grab it from him. However, his height gave him an obvious advantage over me. What infuriated me further was that amused expression on his face while toying with me.

“You evil-”

“If you want it back, come see me after school tomorrow. See you” When I say he pranced out of sight, I really did mean it.

That nerve of him! I fumed.

I have no idea what made me obey his words but the following day…

“I must say you do have some vivid imagination,” he chuckled.

I glanced up upon hearing his voice. He looked as impeccably dressed as always despite the fact he only wore the school’s shirt and pants uniform. The school necktie hung around his neck loosely like the first time I saw him. He must’ve discarded his vest at some point of time. His forearms rested on the banister lining the corridor outside the library. His –which I’ve realized as his trademark– grin plastered on his face. I was on the last flight of stairs leading up to the third floor where the library was situated. Apparently he was waiting for me.

“You read it?!” I arrowed my eyes. Inside, I was starting to fume.

“Now now… don’t be so upset over it. It’s a compliment.”

“You invaded my privacy!” I retorted, taking two steps at a time till I reached him.

“Why being so touché ‘bout it, dear?”

I was too bothered to notice his term of endearment. My nerves were already worked up this morning for the drag and drone of the class teachers that day.

“Give… me… back... my… book!” I lunged for it but he easily swept it out of my reach. I eyed him angrily. He merely chuckled with amusement which added more oil to my already simmering emotions.

“Has anyone told you that you looked so pretty when you’re mad?”

“No,” I replied hotly, heat creeping up my cheeks. Then I paused to grin wickedly. “’cause they never dared to make me mad ever again after the first time.”

He folded his arms and looked straight at me with that amused eyes of his. “I’m the first then.”

“Don’t get used to it.” I lunged for it the second time. Again, he effortlessly kept it away from me. I gritted my teeth in frustration. Taking a deep breath, I did my best to stay clam. Planting a hand on my hip and stretching my other with the palm facing upwards, I motioned to him to hand over my book. He simply shook his head coyly. ARGH!

“Hey, I like you,” he murmured.

“Wow, what a way and place to say it,” I snapped back at him. Driven purely by frustration, I dropped all acts of calmness and lunged for my notebook for the third time. I flashed a triumphant smile as my fingers made contact and curled around the said notebook.

“Not so fast, dearie.”

Again, Ernie managed to maneuver the book out of my grasp with considerable skill. Unable to stop myself, I landed with a muffled ‘Oof!’ flat (face first) against his chest. I grudgingly noticed it was rather firm and toned. Well will I be damned. All thoughts of pushing him away dispelled the moment his arms encircled my being.

“W-what are you d-doing?” I stammered.

“Holding you,” he replied easily. “Or should I use the word ‘embracing’?”

He silenced whatever comebacks I had at the tip of tongue with his hand over my mouth. He shook his head slowly as if telling me ‘Uh uh, not a single word until you hear me out’. I reluctantly complied and relaxed. He patted my head with a smile that said ‘Good girl’. I snorted at that.

“I guess we never introduced ourselves the proper way,” he grinned.

“Darn right about that…” I muttered under my breath.

“Hi, my name is Ern Kai. People call me Kai or Ernie for short. I personally prefer Ern Kai though. Most prefer the name Ernie solely to vex me. Ernie sounds rather silly-”

Then why write your name as Ernie on your books? I wanted to retort. However, as his actual name started to sink in my muddled brain, my thoughts started to wander. Where have I heard that name before? I wanted to ask but he went on with his monologue without actually listening to me.

“-I stand at 5 feet 10 and am hovering between underweight and ideal in the weight department-”

As he rambled on, I barely noticed the time ticking away and the nagging voice telling me leave soon. I still have to attend my ballet class later, you see. Strangely, I didn’t want to leave this closeness yet.

“-and I learn music with Mr. Kevin-”

At the mention of my music teacher's name, I knew I had to get a word in this time round. Curiosity killed the cat, you see.

“Oh my gosh.” I interrupted, when I finally managed to. “Were you part of the ensemble who played ‘Rage Your Dream’ on the Electone in the last concert?”

He paused for a moment to think. Slowly, a dazzling smile formed upon his lips as he recalled the said memory. Seeing his smile so close a range, my knees weaken considerably. This is not good. I barely know this guy! Or so I’d like to think.

“Yeah, I was the one.”

Okay maybe not.

“You sure you don’t remember me?” he asked. His eyes searched mine as he held my hands in his. I looked away, feeling uncomfortable under his steady, searching gaze.

“I-I don’t know…”

Leaning toward me ear, he dropped his voice to just above a whisper. “You were awesome…”

His breath washed over me and I shivered slightly. As the tonality and his words registered in my muddled brain, realization crept slowly towards my conscious mind. Memories from the night flash in my mind’s eye. I remembered upon returning backstage, a certain person came to praise me. He whispered ‘you were awesome’ with such conviction and sincerity that my heart just pounded. He never mentioned his name nor did I manage to get a good look at him due to the dim lighting. Someone called out the name ‘Ern Kai’ and he turned to leave. I never thought that much about the name then. He went on stage next. Even with all the fancy lighting accompanying the rock piece the group was playing, it never once light up his features long enough for a good look. The strange thing was, he was seated just behind the center chair of the ensemble. From then on, I was sort of obsessive over finding who that mysterious guy was. He became some sort of an infatuation. I refer him as my secret, silent crush. Ern Kai. His name finally rang a bell in my head.

“Oh my gosh, you’re that guy!” I gasped.

“The one and only,” he smiled knowingly.

I looked up at him in wonder. How did he ever find me? As if reading my mind, he gathered me closer to him and rested his cheek against mine.

“I’ve been drawn to you since that night. I wanted to know more about you; who you are, what makes you laugh and smile the way you did that night. I- who knew we have the same music teacher?”

“I like you too,” I mumbled against his chest.

“What is it that you said?” he asked, pulling away slightly to look at me. I could tell my face was turning scarlet from embarrassment.

“I like you too,” I repeated, this time looking at him straight in the eye. He was speechless for a split second. Then his handsome countenance broke into the most dazzling smile I’ve seen yet. He hugged and gently squeezed me.

“You have no idea how you made my day. Or year for that matter,” he gazed at me lovingly with his free hand cupping my face.

“I can say the same to you.”

“So… you still mad at me for reading your stories?”

“Hell yeah!” I grabbed my book and dashed down the hallway, cackling madly. Ernie laughed and swiftly chased after me. I shrieked when he caught me by the waist and spun me around. I tried to keep a stern face but my mirth won over. The glint in his eyes promised something dreadful as a consequence. My eyes widen when he unexpectedly muzzled the crook of my neck planting a feather light kiss there.

“You’re just too much,” he murmured. “Stay by me, ’kay?”

“If you will just keep me,” I cheekily replied, hugging him like a teddy bear.

Fairy tale-like? Not entirely. Sweet? Perhaps, but it’s still unusual. Nevertheless, I’m happy. And that’s all I need now. So, until then; my story ends here.