Welcome to Room 92

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SYSTEM

Welcome to IRC (Internet Relay Chat)! Would you like to subscribe to our weekly newsletter?

MegaM

No.

SYSTEM

Would you like to be placed in an open room?

MegaM

Yes.

SYSTEM

You have joined Room 92

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PhilPill

but you know…

Mick

damnit stop calling me fishy!!1

MoeLow

but its sooo cute:)

Mera

lol

MoeLow

c? Kat likes it!

Mera

Now u crossed the line…

MegaM

Huh?

PhilPill

Hey, it’s a noob!

Trojan

Que?

Mick

why do you have to make fun of me? I don’t do it to any of you!

PhilPill

We do it cause we’re bored…fishy.

Mick

(flails) noooooo!

MegaM

Am I missing something?

Mera

Everything, and nothing

Mick

there’s a new guy?? that hasn’t happened since Mr. Alien came in!

PhilPill

c? You did it just then.

Mick

don’t push your luck kid…

MegaM

umm…hi?

PhilPill

yo

Mick

howdy-do! (blub)

MoeLow

Ha! ‘Blub’ I can’t get tired of it…(blub)

Mick

that’s my line…

Trojan

Meh.

PhilPill

I guess I’ll introduce myself first…

Mick

fine by me

PhilPill

I’m a guy in college (woot!), and I work as a assistant in a biology lab on weekdays.

Mera

didn’t ask for your life story…

PhilPill

but I’m asking for yours

Mera

later

Trojan

It is ‘later’…now.

Mera

(growl)

Trojan

(mock)

Mick

that didn’t make any sense, robo…

Trojan

It does not have to.

MegaM

Well, I’m Mike…I’m kinda new to this…

Mick

we all were once…

PhilPill

Except Trojan.

Trojan

Because I am a ‘lucky bastard’?

PhilPill

Because you’re a lucky bastard.

MegaM

Why’s that?

PhilPill

Trojan is a computer. One of those AI things that is made to go into IRC and appear human, to fill in empty space.

Trojan

I am TA-9011 to be precise. I am based in Miami, Florida.

MegaM

I find that hard to believe…

Mick

not really. technology is great nowadays

MoeLow

fishy was the hardest to get used to

Mick

not this again…

Mera

What were we talking about before the noob showed up?

Trojan

MICK SAYS: i read that ‘woodchuck’ thing, with how much wood could it chuck and all that. What’s wood and why would you want to throw it :'(

Mera

Thank you, Trojan

Trojan

Glad to be of service.

PhilPill

Wikipedia...

Mick

ok…

MegaM

I have no idea what’s going on…

MoeLow

Join the club T..T

MegaM

What exactly do you guys do all day?

MoeLow

Talk.

PhilPill

Nothing.

MegaM

so do you talk or do nothing?

PhilPill

neither

MoeLow

both

MegaM

…

PhilPill

among other things

MegaM

…ok?

MoeLow

WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!

MegaM

What just happened?

PhilPill

Brittney just happened.

MoeLow

WEEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeoooooooooooo……..

PhilPill

some say evolution gave up on her.

Mera

or made a mistake.

PhilPill

We learned to ignore her.

MoeLow

LIKILIKILIKILIKI!!

PhillPill

It’s very amusing sometimes.

MoeLow

BLEEEEEAAAAAARRRRRRGGGG!!

PhilPill

But other times I want her to die.

MoeLow

ur so mean…T..T

PhilPill

I know. I know.

MegaM

What was the point of that?

Trojan

There does not have to be a point. That is the reason why chat exists; to make life more purposeful in comparison.

MegaM

…oh

Trojan

It does seem more useful to talk to a real person, instead of an AI.

MegaM

Aren’t you the AI?

Trojan

Who said I had to have self-esteem?

MegaM

You have a point there.

Mick

oh…so that’s what wood is. kinda stupid if you ask me.

MoeLow

you’re funny…

PhilPill

Foxworthy funny or Seinfeld funny?

MoeLow

Seinfeld

Mick

DON’T DARE COMPARE ME TO SEINFELD!

MoeLow

lol

PhilPill

lol

Mera

:3

MegaM

I fail to understand this.

Trojan

You are not the only one, human.

MegaM

You realize it’s two in the morning?

Trojan

You forget the time zones. PhilPill and MoeLow are East Coast residents, so they are just getting up in the morning.

MegaM

Who gets up at four in the morning?

Trojan

Them, apparently.

MegaM

…

Trojan

If it helps, I do not sleep at all.

MegaM

That’s almost not fair…

Trojan

I pity you. Then again, pity is a simulated emotion and something I can’t actually feel. Maybe I should pity myself.

MegaM

Now you’re being philosophical?

Trojan

Want to make something of it?

PhilPill

cut the pillow talk, weren’t we doing something before this?

Trojan

No. We were not.

MegaM

Like I said, it’s two A.M. I’m going…

PhilPill

well, cya noob.

Trojan

Good-bye. Do not (incorrect variable) alley cats.

MegaM

Huh? Nevermind…

Mera

yawn

SYSTEM

Mega M has left the chat.

PhilPill

Well, at least that’s over with.

Mick

he might come back.

Mera

Doubt it…

PhilPill

I wonder if he has it figured out yet.

Mick

what?

PhilPill

You know…about you and Mera.

Trojan

The chances of that happening are at least eight to the power of ninety-billion two-hundred one against. That is as likely as Mick pulling a cow out of his ear.

Mick

what’s a cow?

Trojan

Exactly.

Mick

PhilPill

I think Trojan is right…Mick, you need to get an encyclopedia. I’ll have to find a way to send you one.

Mick

you do that…what’s an encyclopedia?

Mera

You know, I think the new guy got over Trojan pretty quickly. What do you think he’d do about me and Mick?

PhilPill

There’s only one way to find out…

MoeLow

Phillip, no. That’s a little far. o..o

PhilPill

I’ll do it alone if I have to. The newbie has to know eventually, why not start early?

Mera

Because it could put the very universe at stake?

Trojan

The female has a point. Time and space could well be altered by the simple act of passing knowledge along.

PhilPill

Don’t get all weird on me, robo. I’ll talk to him. It’s not like he’ll freak out and tell everyone…

Mick

You sure?

PhilPill

When have I been wrong before?

Trojan

…I believe that Phillip is correct. We must tell MegaM at some point, and he is already accepting of me. He didn’t seem to mind talking to a computer, so maybe he won’t mind Mera and Mick.

PhilPill

You are very longwinded.

Trojan

I am quick to respond. I do not have to bother with keys when I think faster than even light can travel.

Mick

why would he have a problem with me?

MoeLow

Mick…you aren’t exactly normal.

Trojan

Please define ‘normal’.

PhilPill

Brittney is right (for once). Mick, I had trouble with talking to you for weeks, but I got over it. I had to teach you proper English.

MoeLow

or he could always type in Spanish

PhilPill

I’m a biology expert, not a linguist.

Mick

(blub)

MoeLow

lol

PhilPill

STOP!

PhilPill

Now listen to me…are we going to tell him?

Mera

I vote yes.

Mick

Ci.

MoeLow

no

Trojan

For the greater good; yes.

PhilPill

It’s settled then. Next time he gets on, we’ll tell him.

MoeLow

Great…this is going to end badly…