Summary: After being bullied constantly since the day I came out I thought that going to a school made for homosexual teens would make my life easier. I was wrong.

Author's Note: This story started (sort of) like two years ago. Unfortunately, at the time I really had no idea what I was doing. I'd been writing (moderately succesful) fanfictions for a while, but, as most author's know, writing fanfiction is a lot different from writing your own fiction. So, after what seems like five (or six) revisions over the past two years I've come up with As I Am. Hopefully you guys like it.

Chapter01: Down In A Cold Dirty Well

Ugh, I don't get it. I just don't get it. I mean, sure, I live in a small town, and yes, 94 of our population are evangelicals, but still, why so much hate? Maybe, it's because I don't go to church anymore? Nah, I doubt it. The only reason I don't go is because I'm not welcome. Maybe, it's because I'm a little lazy. No, that can't be it either. I sit on my ass all day because I don't have an after school job. I don't have an after school job because no one will hire me. Hmm, what could it be? Well if the word 'Fag' scrawled across my locker in black permanent marker was any indication, I'm guessing it's because I'm gay - yes, I'm a pansy, a homo, a flamer, a queer, a queen. Now, the black marker was not what had upset me today. No, I was used to things like that by now. The problem, was the pound upon pound of rancid meat, which had been stuffed into my locker as a...prank? Pfft, more like a hate crime...okay, maybe that's a bit of an exaggeration, but come on? I'd been scooping seven month old hamburger meat from the confines of my locker for the last half hour.

The few people still at school - mostly kids in detention and teachers that had work to mark - passed me without offering any help. That was okay though, because I didn't expect any. When I first came out, back in 9th grade it had been all about hating the sin and not the sinner. But when I refused to repent, people forgot about that idea real quick. That was two years ago, and by now I was used to being denied service in restaurants, being spit on in public...and having rancid meat shoved into my locker, among other even less desirable things. I'm surprised they even let me go to school, it's not like the government would notice one kid out of a school in a town of 340 people. To be honest, I just think the principal gets a kick out of seeing me suffer. After all, he is the town's pastor as well. By the time I was done cleaning my locker, it was four o'clock and I smelled like I'd taken a bath in a garbage dump or something. Not. Attractive.

After washing my hands, like, twelve times I grabbed my homework - I know what you're thinking, why the fuck would I do it? - and started on the rather long walk home. Again, I know what you're thinking. Small town should not equal long walk. But my mom had to move us as close to the outskirts of the town as possible. She had raised a deviate, and for that, no one in our town respected. That was what hurt the most. I could deal with social humiliation, but watching my mom suffer on my account made me feel terrible. I got home at five o'clock. And to answer your question, yes, I walk an hour to and from school everyday. "I'm home!" I shouted when I walked in, even though I was pretty sure she wasn't home. Thankfully, unlike me, she could still get work and that's where she was now. She worked two jobs, which usually meant she was working 12 hours a day, six days a week.

Now, what did I want to do first? Homework? Or maybe I should get something to eat. I figure I can't work on an empty stomach, so I headed into the kitchen. What to eat? What to eat? Let's see, I have bread...and...water. Okay, so I wasn't expect something gourmet, but some peanut butter to spread on the bread would have been nice. So, there I was, eating a dinner of dry toast, all by myself. Pathetic? Yeah, I know. But I was so used to it by now that I couldn't get upset. After I ate, I went up to my room and got started on my pile of homework. Now, I'm guessing you guys are wondering where my friend is. You know, that one friend that every lonely angst-ridden teenager has? Well, that statement's just been proven false, because I don't have one. I'd had friends, tons, but not anymore. I guess they were worried my gay would rub off on them, or they just didn't want to become the towns next social outcast.

I cleaned up a bit, after homework. Not that there was much to clean. See, that's really the only thing I can do to keep myself busy, so I cleaned every day. Or at least whenever we had stuff to clean the house with. By the time I took my shower, it was only eight o'clock. Most kids my age would be up watching tv, I didn't have one, or out with friends, I didn't have any, or...well I think you get the problem now. So, I did what I always did before I went to bed. I thought about Colin. Colin was gorgeous. Sure, he spent most of his time dunking my head in toilets, throwing rocks at me, and stuffing my locker with the most random shit. But still, he looked gorgeous while he was doing it. He had blonde hair, which was cut low, and green eyes that were positively captivating. And don't even get me started on his muscles. From his abs to his biceps, the guys was fit. Much more attractive than me. I had brown hair that was always sticking up no matter how often I brushed it. Blue eyes that had to be the dullest shade of blue ever. My body...well I was proud of that. But it still didn't compare to Colin's.

I would detail my thoughts about Colin, but they probably aren't very appropriate. Besides, Colin won't play a big part in this story. Crap! The story, right. Let's speed things up a bit.

xoxo

Saturday. Well, we have school on Saturday's where I live. Don't ask. It's not mandatory but all the parents send their kids anyway. So I went to school, and basically did what I do everyday.

xoxo

Sundays. How I loved Sundays. My only day off the entire week. While everyone - and I mean everyone - in my town is at church, I go into the next town over. On the rare occasions when I have money, I'll go to starbucks or mcdonalds. Those are probably my favourite days. Today, however, I was broke so I settled for going over to the youth centre. I was there often, but I never really spoke to any of the other kids. Most of the teens there were girls in abusive relationships. There were a few gay guys - about ten - but they were all so flamboyant. I couldn't spend more than five minutes talking to them.

Today, they were having a raffle. My first thought, was that they were giving away hot pink spandex pants or some shit like that, but no, it was way better than that. I'd heard about Harvey Milk University-Prepatory School or HM Prep for short. The guys at the youth centre had gone on and on about how fabulous it would be to go to a school full of guys (and girls) like them. HM Prep was a school that ran on donations. It was free to go, but you had to be able to get there. The school was in New York, I was in Montana. Not exactly walking distance. The youth centre was raffling off one ticket. All you had to do was put your name in the raffle. If you won, they paid for your plane ticket to HM Prep.

Looking back on it, it's almost strange how excited I was. I mean just the thought of getting away from the hell hole of a town I lived in made me feel ecstatic. I think, it was because I'd gotten used to the idea of living in that town for the rest of my life. I mean, there was no way I could afford to go to College. But now, I had a chance and I was gonna take it. I entered my name, forgetting that I hadn't talked to my mom about it. That didn't matter to me at the time. Once everyone had put there names in the raffle, the counsellor, spun that little thing. I've always wondered what it was called. I mean, I guess it's just sort of a bucket, with the handle to spin it, but what would you call that? Hm, a raffle holder maybe? No, I didn't think so. But anyway, now that I've gotten way off topic I might as well just come out with it and tell you that I won. I FREAKING won. It was like I'd won the lotto. My mom had to let me go. She had to. Life would only be easier for her if I wasn't around. She'd have one less mouth to feed and the towns people would, hopefully, stop treating her like trash.

So yeah. Long story short, she said yes and then we cryed in each other's arms. Seriously.

Anyway, my name is Jaydon Giles and this is how my story begins. Things may have been mundane up until now, but trust me, it gets pretty intense from here on out. Interested? Then stay along for the ride. If you can handle it...

xoxo

So that's it for the first chapter. I realize it's a little short (the rest of the chapters are longer) and is rushed at the end but I didn't want to spend more than one chapter on this part. And I didn't want to bore you guys with a drawn out chapter focusing on mundane things, as Jaydon would put it.

Reviews are appreciated. Comments, questions, suggestions, and critiscism - of the constructive kind. I'm not gonna say I won't update if I don't get a certain amount of reviews because I think that's pathetic. But it would be nice if I knew that a few people were reading it so that I know I'm not updating for no reason.

That being said,

It's time to say bye for now,

Love You Guys,

English101