Chapter Five: Fire and Fury

Crap, crap, crap! Miris wasn't just a little emotionally upset, something I could easily rectify with the proper application of flowers and flowery speech, she was extremely angry with me! Maybe I should have sent that letter after all; bad as it was, the thing had to be better than hearing about a third marriage second-hand. This was absolutely awful. Even the most practical side of me was worried; I did not need the Sacred Child of the church working to make my life miserable. I had to find a way to get back on her good side, and it needed to be done quickly.

"Kari." I said. "How do I get her happy with me again? You're a woman, you should know."

"Why do you even want to?" my third wife muttered. "I think I see what your original problem was, though… that girl is way too beautiful." she bit her lower lip. "Um… I guess that's also the answer to my own question. Go to her and… apologize. A lot. For everything you did and everything you think you may have done. And explain that you didn't really intend to hurt her feelings or anything like that, and swear to always keep her informed of things."

"Ugh. You two don't know how to handle her." Amalie grumbled. "Why is it I have to solve your problems all by myself?" she went inside, taking the same direction Miris had.

"…This is either going to solve the problem or make it infinitely worse." I said quietly. Kari blinked. "Amalie has incredible diplomatic talent when she chooses to exercise it. Unfortunately, I've yet to see it ever act in a way that doesn't directly benefit her. Come on, we'd better go make sure she doesn't convince Miris to turn the whole country against us. The Church obsesses over her enough so that might actually be possible." I ran after Amalie, and after a moment, Kari caught up with me.

"Don't do things halfway, do you?" she laughed. "Still the same as ever." Several questions quickly routed us through the palace and into a small temple where Miris was seated. Amalie was in front of her, jabbering away about how Miris was not excess and had an incredibly important role to play, though I noticed she failed to say what, exactly, this role was.

"Prince Tern." Miris said as I walked in. "Please take your important wife out of this holy place."

"Oh, shut up." I growled. The priestess blinked. "I did write you a letter, but it never got sent; I couldn't word it correctly. You're upset over nothing. Kari is part of this family now because-" I broke off; Miris' expression had completely changed. "…What? You're not supposed to make that face until after I'm done miraculously convincing you in a few short sentences that you're supposed to be happy. Assuming I said the right thing, which is unlikely."

"No, no, not that!" the priestess responded. "What you said before! What did you call us?"

"A family." I answered. "Even if we don't know each other all that well, that's the term that… um… des…" the words stopped coming out of my mouth as Miris flung herself forward and wrapped her arms around me, crying softly. Even more confused than I had been before, I blinked at Amalie and Kari.

"I did also say you can touch Miris as much as she likes." Amalie added. Miris merely hugged me tighter. I put my arms around her, slowly and awkwardly, wondering what exactly was going on. It was said that men would never understand the ways of women, and I had no argument with that statement. I didn't have the faintest clue what she was thinking.

"A family…" Miris breathed out. "Yes, that's right…" She remembered herself a moment later and pulled back, much more her normal self than the frosty being who had greeted us at the gates. "I'm sorry, Tern, Amalie. I should have thought a little more about the circumstances. Please forgive me."

"Relax." I said quickly. "I was wrong, too." we lapsed into silence until Amalie grabbed my leg and looked up at me.

"Come on, Tern!" the little girl demanded. "You're sorry, she's sorry, problem solved! I want to go play!" she tugged on my arm. "You, too, Miris!" the door opened a moment later, and one of the castle's clerks walked in. He was a thin, elderly man, slightly stooped with eyes that were far too big and a heavy book under one arm. He coughed slightly.

"Please forgive my intrusion, Your Highnesses." he said. "My Lord Prince, erm, I have found something that might, ah, interest you."

"Go away, old man." Amalie answered for me, glaring. "Tern's busy."

"Now, now." I said, patting the girl on the head. Amalie did need to learn more about how to deal with others. "Eric has been working here for at least three times as long as I've been alive, and it's my duty to listen to him. Be a good girl and make sure Miris and Kari learn to get along, all right? It shouldn't take long." Amalie pursed her lips, but nodded. I moved out with Eric, crossing a few hallways into his study.

"Take a look at this." he said. Eric was slightly forgetful, and usually forgot to use titles and such when addressing people, especially when in private. Had it been in such a way that I felt he was doing it because he thought himself more important than he was, I would have taken corrective measures. However, as far as I could tell, he was simply oblivious to the whole thing. I took what he offered me, a large, framed portrait, and examined it carefully, noting a drawing of a slender young woman with long, jet-black hair.

"If you're trying to set me up, I have too many wives as it is." I muttered. Eric blinked.

"The name." he said, simply. I looked down at the plaque on the bottom.

Princess Amalie of the Royal House of Krowas.

I flipped the portrait around.

On her 16th Birthday.

Born 2/17/1282

"The heck is this?" I asked, setting the portrait down on the table. "Let's see here. One; the girl is seven years old. Two, her hair is pale yellow, not black. Three, this portrait claims she was born the same year I was."

"Er-hmm." Eric replied. "Yes, I thought it odd as well. When I received that from a friend in Krowas during some inquiries about the Princess, I was very puzzled. I've spent the last month exchanging letters and gathering information. This portrait was done by the Royal Artist of Krowas." he handed me a letter, which bore an exact detailing of the picture I had just seen along with a complex seal that I recognized quite well from my studies. "This was most definitely the girl on that day."

"What, are you saying that little pest is an impostor?" I demanded.

"No nation in the world could be fooled like that." Eric pointed out. I conceded the point; there were people that stupid, but none of them were in Royal Courts. Unless born into the royal family, you had to pass an exam or graduate from the University just to be allowed a place at Court. We respected opinions backed with evidence far more than opinions backed with money. Larger countries were more concerned with money, but Felmos was on the small side, and as a result had less focus on such matters. It was still important, of course, but it was hardly infinitely engrossing. " I believe that girl is the real Princess Amalie. I… I believe she is under a curse of some sort, very hush-hush in her homeland, and possibly most of the reason her father decided to go for this. She is likely to remain how she is forever unless the curse is broken."

I put my hands on his shoulders. Amalie? Seven years old? Forever!? I would do absolutely anything to stop that from happening.

"You wouldn't have called me here just for this! You have a plan; spit it out!" I demanded. Eric coughed.

"Of course." he answered. "The Witch of the Glen should be entirely capable of removing the curse upon Her Highness." I blinked.

"Isn't the Witch of the Glen evil?" I inquired.

"Eh? Oh, no!" Eric answered. "People simply assume she's evil because she's about three hundred-weights too heavy, more wrinkled than one of your formal suits, and lives in the middle of a swamp while wearing nothing but black robes."

"Erm, yeah, that pretty much identifies her as evil…"

"These aren't your storybooks." Eric said sternly. "She is neither particularly good nor particularly evil; like most people, she's just out living. What you want is simply to get a remedy from her. According to the locals, if you're polite and bring a nice gift for her, she's generally quite helpful. Now, here's what you'll need to do…"

That was how, six days later, I found myself in the middle of a swamp, staring up at a giant mushroom with a large basket in one hand and Amalie held with the other.

"Lady of the Glen!" I called. Lady, the townsfolk had said to call her. Like she was a noble at the court, and beautiful besides. Well, I was willing to try anything, and Eric wasn't the sort to play jokes. "I would ask permission to approach your home!"

"Come in, come in!" a croaking voice called. I stepped forward, bringing Amalie and my gift up to the giant fungus. Shaking my head slightly, I walked up the steps and knocked on the door. "You may enter!" I opened the door, and saw the Witch of the Glen.

She was just as ugly as I had imagined. As wide as she was tall, dressed in what could have been a circus tent if they came in black, and with a wart the size of my thumb on her nose. A normal woman? She was obviously evil! Obviously!

"Greetings, my lady." I said. Amalie opened her mouth, and I discreetly kicked her leg, lightly. The little girl shut her mouth again, but frowned at me. "I have traveled a long way; I heard you might be able to assist me. I bring a gift, as appreciation for showing me this hospitality." This was all delivered smoothly, if a bit hesitantly at first. At court, you learned how to speak smoothly and effectively no matter how repulsed you felt. I was in a bedtime story myself, wasn't I? I deeply hoped this visit did not become what mothers read to their children a hundred years from now.

"Thank you, thank you." the Witch of the Glen said, taking the offered basked. She pulled back the cloth and reached in, then held up an ornately decorated scroll. "…What's this?" she inquired. Then, raising an eyebrow, she opened the scroll. Her eyes widened until they were almost as large as Eric's. "Oh, my! How thoughtful of you!" The scroll ceded to her the territory of the swamp, so no tax collectors would be dropping by to bother her. She was entirely free to do as she wished, safe from persecution by royal writ. Below that, there was a hot apple pie. "Well, you're a nice young man. I do love pie. What can I do for you?"

"It is my belief that Amalie here is under a curse." I said, gesturing to my first and possibly not youngest wife. "An old friend said you might be able to do something." the Witch of the Glen nodded, then turned to a large mirror that hung on the side of the house. I noticed that the inside of the house itself was wooden. She was definitely not normal, whatever Eric said.

"Mirror, Mirror, in my hut, the curse upon this girl is what?" she asked. Then, catching my glance, she added, "Well, it's not easy coming up with rhymes so suddenly!"

"The child is cursed by far from Heaven, her age to ever stay at Seven." the mirror intoned.

"I see." the Witch of the Glen murmured. "How very interesting; I don't get to deal with curses much, anymore. With people advancing everywhere, the mystic things have gone deeper into hiding. Still, you brought me pie. I'll do what I can. Mirror, Mirror, speak in verse, how to break this child's curse!"

"This curse is dire, this child trapped, forever small to stay. If you wish her time once more, there's but a single way. For this young man of royal blood, a task there must be done. Catch the Queen of Nightmares, young man, and your lovely wife you've won."

"Well, that's a spot of bother." the Witch said.

"Queen of Nightmares." I groaned. "This is ridiculous. Why would she even do this, anyway?"

"Good question." the Witch muttered. "I'd like to know that myself. Mirror, Mirror, polished bright, what happened with the Queen of Night?"

"The Lady Queen sees far and wide, her touch on human dreams. White is black, day is night, nothing is as it seems. The girl was young, and oh-so-fair, a raven clothed in gold; her beauty told the Lady Queen that she was growing old. And so there hatched a plot, a plan, to steal away her years, that the Lady Queen, in all her might, would shed no more black tears."

"If I remember Interpretation 401 correctly… A being of power was upset by Amalie's beauty, and thus stole it from her." I grumbled. "Figures. Mirror, Mirror, here's thy bind, how the Queen of Nightmares to find?"

"Rough." the Witch grumbled.

"Inside this Glen, the Lady Fair, has potions large and small. If sleep you wish, the Queen to see, then why not try the hall?"

The main door opened up, showing a long hall filled with mist of some sort. The Witch of the Glen leaped to her feet faster than I thought possible for such a heavy woman.

"That's dangerous!" she snapped. "That door leads to the world of dreams! You'll go mad!"

"I'll take my chances." I answered. "But… I did learn from the stories. Do you have any advice for me?" the Witch sighed.

"It's only real if you think it is. Come on, girl, wait here." she lead an uncharacteristically quiet Amalie away, and I wandered into the hallway. It went on for what seemed to be forever, until I realized that I wasn't in a hall anymore, but was nowhere at all. A huge cat leaped out of the mists at me; with a yelp, I threw myself to the side. It landed and turned around, growling.

It's only real if you think it is.

Oh, right. Dreams. I took a deep breath and stared at the cat, trying to ignore the two enormous fangs that jutted out of the top of its mouth. It leaped at me again, but vanished before it struck me.

"Oh?" a melodious voice asked. "A visitor." a figure walked out of the mists, thin and covered in more the idea of clothing than anything actually resembling cloth. Impressive, in more ways than one. "What may I do for you?"

"Are you the Queen of Nightmares?" I inquired.

"And if I am?" she purred, stepping closer. "Hmm… you're a handsome young fellow. I've visited you quite a few times, haven't I? Nightmares of a little girl?" I twitched, then grabbed the woman by her throat. "You'd lay hands upon me!?"

"I would." I snapped back. "Return Amalie to how she should be. That is all I came here for; I have nothing against you, and I'm perfectly willing to let you go if you do that simple thing."

"The little brat of a princess?" the Queen of Nightmares inquired, images flickering around me, half-seen monsters prowling in the mist. "She is as… nothing. Why do you care what happens to her?"

"She's my wife." I answered coolly, ignoring the shapes that were getting steadily closer. "Remove your curse. Please. I would hate to have to break your neck."

"I can make her back to normal… for half the time." the Queen of Nightmares answered. "During the day, whereupon you may be with her in public and let all the world see her face, or at night, where you may go after her with your carnal lusts. I know you have them, little boy."

"The day." I said coolly.

"Oh?" the Queen of Nightmares asked. "At night, you could be as passionate as you like, and with her not recalling the differences, she'd be a little child the rest of the time."

"I don't want to have her normal just so I can indulge base desires." I said dryly. "I already have a wife whose job description is just that. If Amalie were to be normal by day, she could fulfill her duties running of the country and at the same time enjoy being with me and my other wives; while sleeping, she'd be smaller. Big deal."

"At night would profit you personally the most. Perhaps it is even her desire; that she loves you enough to accept that." this ethereal being answered with a sly smile. "You do enough for your country, don't you? Would anybody look down upon you for indulging yourself, just this once?"

"A King must have his country first and foremost in his thoughts, day and night. I will not cease being a King at ten each night; I will always be a King. It is of the greatest benefit to the country for Amalie to be fully cognizant of her actions during the day, that she might serve. That is what is expected of royalty in exchange for all that we are given. Even as a little brat, Amalie is extremely diplomatic, and I'd be lying if I didn't think that she would be willing to forego personal pleasure of that sort in exchange for getting her life back. Besides, honestly, as nice as she looked in that portrait, I'd be willing to settle for never taking her in exchange for all the headaches spared the rest of the time."

"Tough nut to crack, aren't you?" my captive muttered. Then, abruptly, she was out of my grasp. She knew the rules of this place better than I did, and I held no illusions that I could actually do much besides talk. "I can think of something that might convince you, Prince Tern." I laughed. "What?"

"You think you're talking to a person." I said, putting one hand on my waist. "See, you obviously have no idea what you're talking to. What is expected of a Prince as well as a King is that they can quite literally become their country. You're not talking to Prince Tern of Felmos, you're talking to Felmos itself. We have decided that the Princess Amalie would be best suited to assist us if she were to be an adult during the day, if only half the time it may be, and our position is not going to change."

The woman sighed heavily and fluttered down. The ever-circling shapes in the mist vanished.

"You just had to go and do that here." she said. "Here, where dreams and beliefs have strength. Your land isn't the largest, by far, but its spirit holds more than a bit of power. I see why my people have pulled back so far; you will destroy us if we are in the open. Leave, human." she turned around. "The girl is returned to her normal state. A little fun isn't worth this." she faded out, and before I realized it, I was back in the Witch's hut. A girl was curled up on the couch, sleeping quietly. A silvery dress contrasted with long black hair. As I approached, the girl yawned and sat up.

"Tern." she said, stretching. "…Thank you for saving me."

"Yeah, well, you were quite a pest as a little girl." I answered. "Amalie." she smiled, and my heart actually skipped several beats. "Eh heh… I'm going to have to lose Miris and Kari now, aren't I?"

"Oh, I think it will be fine for them to stay." Amalie answered with a smile. "So long as you remember who your primary wife is. Shall we go home?"

"Just a moment." I answered. I turned to the Witch of the Glen, who was watching us with a wide smile. "Thank you very much, my Lady. You can't imagine how much you've done for me. If you'd ever like to visit the castle…"

"Hah! I'm fine here, my boy." the Witch answered. "I like living out here, with few superstitious neighbors and only the occasional visitor like yourself that will let me use some of my skills. And there's pie. Ah, yes, before you go. Mirror, Mirror, thou tell me so, what shall I do before he go?"

"Alas, alas, your rhyme is very crude. Did I not watch your every move, I'd surely call you rude. If this young man thou truly likes, there's advice here for the dude; in packing for the journey, perhaps a little food? Your Kingdom knows a little girl, fair-haired and wild, too. So this advice I give to thee, to know what you must do. Inside your home there is a girl, the second of your three; she speaks and all will listen, because of what will be. It is to her that you must talk, and tell your tale so fair; when speaks she to the Priesthood, they'll surely cease to care."

The Witch of the Glen looked impressed.

"He must really like you." she said. "What a dear. I'll give him a good polishing later. Now off with you; it's a bit of a walk to town, and I'm sure you'll want to arrive before nightfall. Your ladyfriend needs to rebuild her strength anyway. If you're ever in the area, stop by for a visit!" she hurried us out. I looked at Amalie, wondering where things would go from here.

I probably shouldn't have.

"Your Highness… es…, we have a problem." Eric said a little while after I returned to the castle with the older and much less tiring Amalie at my side. I frowned at him. "Krowas has had a… change of leadership. While you were out, a message bird arrived." he handed me a scroll; continuing to frown, I took it from him and read.

"Let it be known that on this day, 1/8/1299, I, Lutham of the House of Lorr, was crowned Emperor of Krowas in accordance with the traditions of succession in the country of the same. Let is also be known that as of this letter reaching its destination, Krowas does not acknowledge the marriage of Princess Amalie of Krowas and Prince Tern of Felmos, and calls for the immediate return of Krowas' Princess, that she might be wed to myself in order to provide an heir for Krowas." my voice grew more incredulous the more I read. This Lutham wanted to steal my wife and force her to have his kids? "To meet this end I have sent a force of five hundred cavalry to escort the Princess to Krowas by any means necessary. I assure the Princess that her family is unharmed. Eric, is this in any way legal?"

"Sending the Cavalry? Partially; it is the traditional number for an escort." he answered after a moment of thought. "And we are technically allied countries. As for not recognizing the wedding, however, we're all quite clear on that. Your contract states explicitly that you two absolutely may not break up for any reason. Regardless of changes in leadership of Krowas, the law is such that a contract made by a previous ruler is binding. He has no case, none at all." I nodded; that was just as I'd thought. Amalie wrinkled her forehead as she thought.

"Lutham, Lutham…" she muttered. "Oh, him. He always was ambitious; too much so for his own good. I'm quite satisfied with the current arrangements, actually." She smiled slightly and took out a quill, dipped it in ink, and began writing a reply on a clean scroll to send back to this 'Lutham'. "He'll have sent the Royal Guard to escort me, and-" the door slammed open and a tall man just about to enter his middle years strode into the room. "Oh, you came yourself."

"Amalie." the man said, bowing slightly. "I trust you are prepared to leave?" he reached out to cup her chin. I caught his wrist before he could manage it. "Boy, do you have any idea who I am?"

"Judging by Amalie's expression, I'd say you're Lutham." I answered blandly. "I am Tern, Prince of Felmos, Amalie's Husband. Clearly, you are incapable of understanding the law. Article three of the wedding contract between Amalie and myself: The marriage may not be nulled, cancelled, or otherwise made void in fact or in spirit for any reason. Article four-hundred and sixty-two of the Krowas Common Law: Treaties and Agreements of all types made by a previous ruler are binding upon the next one. You have no argument." he backhanded me with his free arm and I let go.

"Quote things all you'd like. She shall return with me regardless." the one called Lutham said. "Touch me again and I shall have my cavalry raze this city to the ground." Only five hundred men? Either they were all legendary heroes or he was a complete idiot. Either way, I could finally truly enjoy Amalie's presence, so there was absolutely no way that I would give her up. The girl in question turned to Lutham, smiled sweetly, and made a suggestion that was creative but anatomically impossible. He slapped her across the face as well. "You will speak to me with respect, girl."

"I think not." Amalie answered coolly. "I do not acknowledge anyone but my father to be the rightful ruler of Krowas. Your letter here says that my family is unharmed; so my father is alive, then I recognize only him as the ruler. If he is dead, then you have lied to me and broken several more laws."

"Laws, laws, laws!" the man said, pulling Amalie out of her chair. "I am the ruler of Krowas, and I decide which laws to follow!" Her clothing ripped, exposing the central third of her torso as the girl fell to the ground. "I am Emperor Lutham, and I decide how things will be! Your pathetic little country is no match for my own, and I will gladly burn it to the ground!" I began laughing. "You find something funny, child!?"

"Oh..." I said. "It's just... you're saying 'I' instead of 'we'. You don't think of yourself as your country, you think of yourself as an individual ruling the country. You're not just stupid, you're incompetent." His face grew more and more enraged as I continued talking, precisely what I wanted. Amalie slowly got to her feet behind him, then raised a foot and kicked as hard as she could between Lutham's legs. His eyes rolled up into his head as he dropped to the floor. "You fight dirty, don't you?"

"Well, he doesn't deserve any better." the girl answered. She looked down at herself, then winked at me. "Like what you see?" I did. Some soft flesh showed, just enough to stimulate my imagination without revealing too much. Not that I would mention as much in public; there was a reasonable limit to things. "Now, what should we do with him? If he has enough loyal soldiers, it might actually be a problem... ah!" she scribbled out a letter. "General Heinrich will still be in command of the army, I think. He's a good man, and the problem will be solved fairly well that way."

"I can't believe how easy this was." I answered quietly. "We get a letter, the guy walks in, and down he goes. That has to be the easiest thing that's ever happened to me." Amalie blinked at me.

"Well, obviously." she said. "He was faking it the whole time."

"He was?"

"Of course. If he had actually done anything of note, he obviously wouldn't have put on a show like this. Let me think..." she scratched her head for a moment, then pointed at Lutham. "Dispir." there was a burst of smoke, and when it cleared, instead of Lutham on the ground there was somebody else. "Basic Illusion... I'm surprised it even worked. Magic was never very popular to start with, and it's pulled back as we humans have tamed the wilderness."

We spent several more minutes resolving the situation, then retired to our rooms. Amalie headed into her chambers and spent nearly an hour changing her outfit. By the time she was done, I was relaxed on my bed, thinking of all the things that had happened. My primary wife stepped out of her rooms a moment later, clad in a shimmering white dress.

It was right about then that I woke up from the best dream I'd ever had and found myself looking at my seven-year-old wife, who was snuggled between the rest of us.

"AAAAAAAAAAAARRRRGGGGGHHHHHH!"

Despair End

Tip: Dreams have power. On your next playthrough, pay closer attention to the Witch of the Glen, and show no mercy to the Queen of Nightmares.